7 Things Your Child Wishes You Understood About School

It’s Not Just About Homework — It’s About Being Understood

You notice it every evening. That moment when your child drops their backpack on the floor, gives a half-hearted shrug when you ask about their day, and mumbles something vague like “fine” or “I don't know.” As a parent, you're trying. Really trying. But between work meetings, dinner prep, and getting everyone to bed on time, it's hard to decode what's really going on at school.

Here’s a comforting truth: your child isn’t trying to push you away. They’re simply struggling to articulate what they truly feel, and most of the time, they just want you to understand. Not fix, not rush, but see and hear them — completely. What if we listened differently? What if we looked at school through their eyes for a change?

Here are seven things your child probably wishes you knew about school — things they might not have the words or courage to tell you, but that matter more than you think.

1. "I’m not lazy — I’m overwhelmed."

When your child refuses to start their homework, it can be tempting to see it as defiance or laziness. But often, beneath that avoidance is fear of failure or confusion about the task. Remember: school demands are not always aligned with a child's developmental pace or learning style.

Instead of saying, “You just have to get started,” try asking, “What part feels confusing or too big right now?” Help them unbundle the task into smaller steps. For auditory or visual learners, a tool like Skuli can transform complex written lessons into engaging audio adventures — even turning your child into the hero of the story, using their name. Suddenly, reviewing becomes a playful, personalized journey instead of a chore.

2. "Just because I don’t talk about it doesn’t mean I’m okay."

Silence doesn’t always mean nothing’s wrong. Sometimes it means your child doesn’t know how to put their feelings into words. Maybe they had a tough day — a failed test, a harsh comment, a missed recess — and they don’t want to risk being misunderstood.

Creating a safe space at home where school talk isn’t forced but gently invited can help. For example, routines like drawing together or chatting during car rides can give space for things to surface naturally. Your environment matters as much as your words.

3. "I want you to be proud of me even when I don’t get things right."

This one’s easy to forget. Kids are constantly measuring your reactions — especially when they bring a poor grade or admit to struggling in class. They’re not just delivering news; they’re checking: “Do I still belong? Am I still good enough?”

Responding with curiosity rather than disappointment — “That test was tough, wasn’t it? Want to tell me how you felt when you were taking it?” — can change the narrative from failure to growth. Praise the attempt, not just the outcome. Let your child feel that love isn’t conditional on performance.

4. "I learn differently than others — and that’s okay."

Some kids absorb information like sponges during a lecture. Others remember better when they move, touch, or hear. If your child seems to struggle with traditional study methods, consider learning preferences. Listening to a chapter while walking around the block or reviewing fractions by turning a photo of the textbook into a 20-question quiz can transform their experience. Skuli makes that kind of flexible learning feel natural, not forced.

You might be surprised at how much your child can thrive when we meet them where they are, not where we expect them to be.

5. "I don’t always have the words I need."

When you ask, “What happened today?” your child may responds with “nothing” not because there really was nothing, but because they lack the vocabulary — emotional or cognitive — to express it. You can help by naming things for them. Say, “You looked frustrated when you came home — was there something disappointing today?” or “You were super quiet tonight, is your mind still at school?”

And sometimes, it helps to understand the hidden language of kids when they talk about school. They may use certain recurring words that clue you in — “weird,” “boring,” “fine” — each with its own layered meaning.

6. "I carry more emotional weight than you see."

School isn’t just lessons and grades. It’s a social maze, a performance stage, a tightrope of expectations. Your child navigates friendships, pressure from teachers, fear of embarrassment, and their own self-doubts — all while trying to remember how to divide fractions or spell “definitely.”

Taking time to listen to how they feel, not just what they did, can help them unload the invisible backpack they carry daily. A simple, “What was the hardest moment today?” can reveal more to you than a report card ever could.

7. "I need you on my team — not just as my coach."

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a steady one. Someone who can sit on the floor with them after a meltdown, admit when they don’t understand the math either, and still say, “Let’s figure this out together.”

Show them that school is a shared journey. That their struggles are seen, their efforts matter, and that no bad grade can shake the foundation of your love. That’s the kind of support that builds resilient, self-aware learners — the very heart of what any educational tool or strategy should aim to do.

Final Thoughts

There’s no one-size-fits-all parenting formula for school-age kids. But when we pause to see school through our child’s eyes, everything shifts. Academic success becomes secondary to connection. Progress starts with empathy. And support doesn’t always mean fixing — sometimes, it just means staying close enough to say, “I see you. I’m here.”