Questions to Ask Your Child to Truly Understand What They Experience in Class

Why Asking the Right Questions Matters

You ask, "How was school today?" and your child responds with the classic, "Fine." Maybe you try again—"What did you do?"—and they shrug. You're not alone. For many parents of children aged 6 to 12, getting a glimpse into their school day can feel like trying to open a tightly sealed jar. There's so much going on behind those quiet answers, and often, the issue isn't that your child doesn't want to talk—it's just that they don't know what to say, or how to say it.

As a parent, it's heartbreaking to feel shut out, especially if your child seems stressed or discouraged but doesn't express why. Recognizing the signs of school-related stress is the first step—and if you haven’t read it already, this article can help you identify if their silence is hinting at something deeper.

The next step? Asking questions that gently open doors instead of putting up defenses.

Your Presence Is the First Question

Before diving into what to ask, think about how you ask. Children are more likely to open up when they feel safe, unrushed, and not interrogated. Consider these scenarios:

• Talk while driving, walking the dog, or baking together—moments where the conversation can flow without direct eye contact or pressure.
• Ask one question and then give them space. Silence can be powerful—it tells your child you're really listening.

And remember, the goal isn’t to “get information”—it’s to build a bridge. Sometimes that means showing interest in the small things before the big worries surface.

Open-Ended Questions That Invite a Real Answer

One well-placed question can unravel an entire day. Here are types of questions that open instead of close:

• "What made you smile today in class?" instead of "Was school fun?"
• "What was the hardest part of your day?" instead of "Was anything bad?"
• "If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?"
• "What was something your teacher said today that stuck with you?"
• "Who did you sit next to at lunch? What did you talk about?"

These questions do more than get answers—they show your child that you're genuinely curious about their world. They also help you understand patterns over time: who they gravitate toward, what subjects motivate or frustrate them, and where they might be struggling quietly.

When the Conversation Stalls

Sometimes, even with the softest approach, you hit a wall. That doesn’t mean your child isn’t listening—it may just mean they’re not ready. You can learn more about why some kids don’t talk about school and how to reframe your expectations.

In the meantime, pay attention to the little signals: the tone of their voice when they mention a classmate, the sigh after finishing homework, the way their body slumps when it’s time to pack their bag. These are conversations too, spoken in another language.

What If They Say They Hate School?

Hearing "I hate school" can send a wave of worry through any parent. Suddenly, it feels urgent—you want to fix it, protect them, make it better right away. But “I hate school” is usually code for something else: embarrassment, boredom, fear, confusion. Before jumping into solutions, explore more about what might really be hiding behind those words.

Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do in that moment is say, "Tell me more." Then listen, even if what they say is hard. Even if it sounds trivial. Keeping that door open now means they'll be willing to walk through it when the stakes are higher.

Bringing Their Learning to Life

For some kids, traditional school settings feel abstract or disconnected. One dad I spoke to recently shared how his 8-year-old son would shut down every time they started homework. But when they began listening to lessons as playful adventure stories on their car rides—ones where his son was the brave explorer decoding math puzzles—something shifted. "He started asking me if we could 'do more quests,'" the dad told me, smiling. The school material hadn’t changed. The delivery had.

Tools like the Skuli App can turn written lessons into personalized audio adventures, even using your child’s own name in the story. For kids who don’t always know how to explain their day, or who feel overwhelmed by textbooks, this kind of play-based review opens a new window into their school world—one where they’re the hero.

One Conversation at a Time

Parenting a child between 6 and 12 is a daily dance between wanting to know everything and respecting the pace at which they share. Some days they'll be eager to tell you every detail about a science experiment. Other days, you'll get a clipped "nothing happened." That's okay.

What matters is that you keep asking, keep listening, and keep making space. Over time, you’ll piece together the mosaic of their school life—and they’ll know, without a doubt, that you’re always ready to hear the next piece.

If you’d like help encouraging conversations, this guide offers more strategies for turning everyday moments into connection.

And when things go well—when your child excitedly shares about working with a classmate or earning praise on their spelling test—take note. Those are the signs they’re thriving. Learn how to recognize the deeper indicators that they enjoy school, and let those moments become your compass too.