What Kids Really Think About Tests and Assessments at School

Behind the Test Papers: What Your Child Might Not Be Telling You

You know when the backpack drops at the door and your child slinks into the kitchen with an unintelligible grunt? You ask how the math test went and get a shrug, or worse—"I don't want to talk about it." It's not just fatigue. Behind that reaction could be anxiety, self-doubt, or even a quiet feeling of defeat.

Evaluations, whether they’re called quizzes, tests, or assessments, are a routine part of school life. But have you ever stopped to ask what your child thinks about them?

"I'm Not Good at Tests": When Labels Start to Stick

By age six or seven, many kids have already started labeling themselves—particularly when it comes to academic performance. It's not uncommon to hear things like, "I'm bad at math," or "I can’t remember anything I study." These beliefs can harden over time if evaluation experiences consistently feel negative or confusing.

Children often interpret poor results not as a sign that they need different study tools or more time, but as proof they’re not “smart.” And that belief can chip away at confidence, leading them to dread evaluations altogether. This dread might look like frustration during homework, sleep issues the night before a test, or even complaining of a stomachache the morning of an assessment.

One way to shift this pattern is by reframing how we talk about testing—not as the final judgment, but as a snapshot in time. This means modeling curiosity over perfection: "What do you think helped you remember that part?" or "That didn't go how you hoped—any ideas why?"

It’s Not Just About Performance—It’s About Being Seen

Many children express that tests make them feel invisible. Their interests, strengths, or ways of thinking don’t always align with timed exercises and structured answers. If your creative, storytelling-loving child is constantly evaluated through standard written tests, they may feel like school doesn’t notice who they truly are.

We explored this more deeply in our article on whether kids feel heard by their school. The key takeaway is that children crave recognition—not just for correct answers, but for effort, courage, and growth. When they don’t feel that acknowledgment, evaluations can feel depersonalized and cold.

Different Brains, Different Needs

A timed written test assumes that every child processes information the same way. But what about kids with dyslexia? Or those who process ideas more clearly through speaking rather than writing? Or students who need more time to settle into a question before giving it their best?

Standardized testing environments don't often account for this neurodiversity. If you've ever asked yourself, "Should my child really be expected to learn at the same pace as everyone else?", you’re already asking the right question.

One way parents have been personalizing learning at home is with tools that adapt to how their child learns best. For instance, apps that can turn a photo of a lesson into a custom quiz or transform a dense science paragraph into an audio adventure—complete with your child as the main character—are making after-school study time feel a lot less robotic, and a lot more human. (This is exactly what the Skuli App, available on iOS and Android, was designed to do subtly and effectively.)

A Test Is a Moment, Not a Measure of Worth

It’s easy—even for us as parents—to hyper-focus on performance. We worry: if my child doesn’t do well, what does that mean for middle school? For high school? For life?

But for your child, every test feels present-tense. And if they’re already carrying the weight of school-induced stress, each evaluation might feel like a referendum on who they are.

Oral assessments, for instance, have been shown to improve some students’ well-being because they allow for more spontaneity and expression. Could we, as parents, advocate for more diverse ways of testing our kids’ knowledge? Even a conversation at a parent-teacher meeting expressing that your child seems discouraged by written tests can open the door for flexibility.

A Real-Life Moment That Might Sound Familiar

Take Miriam, age 9. She loves science but dreads the unit quizzes that follow every module. Her mom noticed that Miriam would come home talking excitedly about volcanoes or the solar system—until the day before a test, when her enthusiasm would vanish.

Instead of drilling her with flashcards, they started re-reading lesson notes aloud during car rides, even turning them into pretend-radio shows. Tests didn’t suddenly become fun, but Miriam started asking her own questions and laughing again during those review sessions. Her scores improved slightly—but her motivation skyrocketed.

This kind of shift doesn’t require you to buy workbooks or invent a whole curriculum. It simply means tuning into how your child talks about school when the pressure is off, and finding the formats that help them feel safe, seen, and competent.

Reclaiming the Conversation Around Learning

When tests stop being threats, they can become feedback. When kids understand that evaluations aren’t about proving their worth but understanding their progress, they become less defensive—and more curious.

None of this means we don’t care about academic excellence. It simply means we care more about our kids’ long-term relationship with learning than any single red ink mark. If your child seems discouraged by assessments, the goal isn’t to fight the system overnight—but to gently reclaim the experience, piece by piece, at home.

And if boredom is also part of the equation, especially around repetitive test prep, that’s another signal to explore more engaging, varied formats.

You are your child’s most consistent champion. Simply by opening up these conversations at home, you’re already making a difference.