What Do Kids Really Think About Homework?

What You See Isn’t Always What They Feel

Every evening, it’s the same battle. You find yourself coaxing, reasoning, or sometimes even bribing your child to sit down and finish their homework. But beyond the eye-rolls, protests, or shrugged shoulders — what’s really going on in their minds? What do our children truly think about homework?

The answer isn’t as simple as “they hate it” or “they're lazy.” In fact, many kids aged 6 to 12 have surprisingly complex feelings about it. It’s often a soup of pressure, confusion, boredom — mixed with a genuine desire to please you or their teacher.

The Emotional Weight of Homework

Most kids won’t tell us directly how stressed they feel about assignments — not because they’re hiding it, but because they may not have the language to explain it. Or perhaps they don’t want to disappoint us. That’s why some children seem fine at first and then melt down at the dinner table over a simple math problem.

In our recent reflection on how kids talk about school in 2024, we discovered that emotional withdrawal is one of the most common ways school-related stress surfaces. For children, homework is often the moment when they are most alone with their feelings of inadequacy. They’re not in the classroom surrounded by peers. They’re not under the teacher’s structured guidance. They’re just... stuck.

“It’s Not That I Don’t Want to Do It — I Just Don’t Know How”

This is something one 10-year-old told his mom recently when she was at her wit’s end. He's by no means a "bad student," but he kept pushing off homework every night. One evening, overwhelmed by frustration, his mom finally asked — quietly and without judgment — just to talk.

He sighed and said, “It’s not that I don’t want to do it… I just don’t know how.”

That conversation cracked something open. She realized the issue wasn’t laziness or defiance: it was a sense of helplessness. So many children face this — the instructions seem just vague enough, or they don’t remember how the teacher explained a concept, and now they’re afraid to guess and get it wrong. Over time, the anticipation of that confusion becomes a wall.

In those moments, what kids need isn't more structure or more rules. What they crave is connection — someone to say, “I see you. Let’s figure this out together.”

When Homework Feels Like a Test of Worth

Somewhere along the line, school performance became the de facto way many children measure their value — and they know we’re watching. They see our reactions when grades come home or when a mistake gets repeated.

This pressure, though mostly unspoken, can be crushing. In our guide on why kids stay silent about school, we explore how fear of disappointing parents is one of the top reasons children don't open up. So what does a child do when they feel homework is beyond their grasp but also believe they have to succeed?

They stall. They get “distracted.” They might say they forgot their homework — or that they never received any. But underneath is often the truth: they don’t believe they can do it right, and it feels safer not to try at all.

Homework as a Source of Connection — Not Conflict

So how do we shift this dynamic? It starts not with explaining the importance of homework, but with lowering the stakes. Before asking your child if they’ve finished their spelling, ask them how spelling's going for them. Which parts feel okay? Which parts feel tricky? Open a conversation before enforcing performance.

In this way, homework becomes a space for discovery — not dread. One parent told us she started taking walks with her daughter before dinner, and during those moments, her child would often open up about something she struggled with in class. That twenty-minute stroll did more for their homework routine than any rigid plan.

Some families are also finding that turning lessons into different formats helps tremendously — especially for children who struggle with reading comprehension or attention. One dad shared how his son, who finds it exhausting to read instructions, enjoyed listening to an audio version of his lesson on the car ride home. Tools like the Skuli app subtly support this idea: it lets you convert written lessons into audio adventures, so your child follows the story — and reviews their material — as the hero, using their own name. It’s gentle. Engaging. And, most importantly, it makes learning feel like play again.

Creating a Safe Space to Share

It’s worth remembering that your child may not always be able or ready to explain what’s hard about homework. But if they know they can talk — without being corrected, rushed, or judged — they will eventually start sharing. In our article on how parental listening builds confidence, we explore this idea in depth: listening is more healing than fixing.

Try setting aside moments during the week when school performance isn’t the central topic. Let your child lead the way in conversations — even if it starts with Pokémon or Minecraft. Trust builds slowly, and through it, you’ll learn far more about what school — and homework — really feels like for them.

If you're concerned your child might be silently struggling with more than just the workload, we've published a deeper guide on how to help your child when school feels overwhelming. Sometimes, homework resistance is just the surface of something deeper.

Final Thoughts

Homework isn't just a task — it's an experience shaped by your child's emotions, confidence, and perceptions of success. While it may look like procrastination or a lack of motivation from the outside, inside, your child may be grappling with big questions about their own abilities and value.

By approaching homework as a moment of connection rather than correction, you’re giving your child more than academic support — you’re giving them the safety to grow.