My Child Says They Hate School: What Can I Do to Help?

When 'I hate school' becomes a daily refrain

It's a phrase no parent wants to hear: “I hate school.” Often shouted through tears, whispered in defeat, or muttered under breath after another tough day. If your child between the ages of 6 and 12 says they hate school, you’re not alone—and you’re not a bad parent.

Many children struggle emotionally or academically at school for reasons that aren’t always obvious. From learning difficulties to social anxiety, from boredom to feeling misunderstood—"hating" school is usually a symptom of a deeper experience. The real question is: how can you gently uncover what’s behind that feeling... and truly support your child?

First, listen without attempting to fix right away

Take a deep breath. You might feel tempted to jump into problem-solving mode or say something like “You have to go anyway” or “Everyone hates school sometimes.” But these responses, while well-meaning, can make a child feel dismissed. What they need from you in this moment is validation and curiosity.

Try sitting with your child at a quiet moment—not just when emotions are high. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What’s the hardest part of your school day?”
• “Can you tell me about a moment that made school hard this week?”
• “Is there a time during the day you like better than others?”

Often, the root of the problem reveals itself slowly: feeling different from peers, confusion in class, difficulty concentrating, fear of punishment, or even teacher relationships. If you sense any of these, you may want to explore articles like how to help a child who struggles to fit into school or why kids who don't fit the mold are often punished.

Different doesn’t mean defective

Many children who say they hate school are actually deeply sensitive, curious, and bright—just in ways the classroom doesn’t always recognize. Maybe your child is a dreamer who zones out during lessons, a perfectionist overwhelmed by pressure, or a hands-on learner frustrated by paper-and-pencil tasks.

Some children lose motivation because they don’t feel understood in typical educational environments. That doesn't mean they can’t thrive—it just means their learning environment needs to shift, even slightly. If your child struggles to process classroom instructions or remember lessons, you might find useful insight in this article on what to do if your child doesn’t understand instructions at school.

Make learning personal again

One key factor in children disengaging from school is feeling like school is something done to them, not for them. Reigniting their curiosity begins with giving them a sense of agency—and creating positive, low-pressure learning moments outside the classroom.

For example, if your child is exhausted by reading assignments, what if that same material could be turned into an engaging adventure story using their own first name as the character? If they grasp information better with their ears than their eyes, turning a written lesson into short audio clips they can listen to on car rides or during bath time can make a world of difference.

This is where tools like the Skuli App can be helpful. It allows you to adapt your child’s school material—transforming their math notes or history lessons into personalized audio adventures or voice-guided reviews, giving your child back control—and enjoyment—of their own learning.

Learning doesn’t have to stay trapped between textbook covers. Make it part of their play, their downtime, even your daily routines together.

Check-in with the school—but choose allies wisely

If your child continues to resist school, it's a good idea to open a conversation with their teacher or school counselor. Not every educator will have insight into your child's inner world—but some are invaluable allies. When reaching out, try to approach the meeting not as a confrontation, but as a partnership.

Share what your child says at home, ask how they behave or participate in class, and work together to see what adjustments might help. In some cases, behaviors seen as “disruptive” are actually miscommunications or coping mechanisms. If that sounds like your child, this piece on what’s really going on beneath disruptive behavior can shed some light.

And if your child seems more sensitive, easily overwhelmed, or emotionally reactive at school, you may recognize signs of high sensitivity in the classroom—this article on daydreamers and sensitive children is a great place to learn more.

Rebuilding trust in themselves—and in school

Ultimately, helping a child who says they hate school is less about changing their attitude and more about rebuilding the bridge between them and learning itself. That can take time. It takes your presence, your belief in them, and opportunities for success—not just academically, but emotionally.

Let them know it’s okay to feel what they feel, and that you’re there—not to fix them, but to walk with them.

With empathy, the right tools, and the patience to listen, moments of “I hate school” can evolve, slowly but powerfully, into something else: “I’m getting better at this,” “That was kind of fun,” or someday, incredibly—“I learned something cool today.”