What to Do If Your Child Doesn’t Understand Instructions at School

When a Simple Instruction Becomes an Obstacle

“Take out your notebook and write three sentences about what you did this weekend.” For many children, that’s a clear and simple task. But for others—maybe yours—it’s like deciphering a foreign language. They might sit there, confused, frozen, or distracted, not because they’re defiant or lazy, but because they genuinely don’t understand what’s being asked of them.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents of 6- to 12-year-olds face this daily battle, where school instructions—whether verbal or written—get lost in translation somewhere between the teacher’s mouth and the child’s brain. It’s exhausting, both for you and your child. But we can unpack what might be going on and explore some ways to rebuild understanding, step by step.

It’s Not a Matter of Intelligence or Effort

The first thing I tell parents is this: if your child struggles with instructions, it’s not because they’re not smart or not trying. In fact, a lot of bright and creative kids run into this very issue. Sometimes they’re highly sensitive or easily overwhelmed. Other times, they have trouble with processing language quickly, or they’re simply wired to learn differently.

What looks like "not paying attention" can actually be a cognitive delay in processing instructions, or a difficulty in visualizing abstract tasks. For instance, when a teacher says “complete questions 3 through 6 quietly,” a child who didn’t understand “through” might just do question 3. Or might even stare at the page, unsure whether 'quietly' refers to the questions or their own behavior.

The Layers Behind the Struggle

Several layers can impact a child’s ability to follow directions:

• Auditory processing delays: Your child hears the instruction but can’t hold onto the information long enough to act on it.
• Anxiety or school-related stress: Their brain might be too preoccupied with fear of failure to even absorb the request.
• Attention challenges (like ADHD): They might only catch the beginning or the end of a sentence, missing the most important part in between.
• Executive functioning gaps: These make it harder to plan, initiate, or remember the steps of a multi-part task.

The good news? Each of these challenges comes with tools, techniques, and yes—hope.

When Instructions Feel Like Riddles: What You Can Do at Home

Try to think of school instructions as a kind of code that your child is trying to decipher. Your job isn't just to explain the answer, but to help them learn how to break the code themselves. Here’s how:

1. Model and Practice Step-by-Step Thinking

When reading instructions together, don’t just rephrase them—break them down. For example: “Write a paragraph about your favorite food.” You might say, “Okay, what’s your favorite food? Pizza? Great. Now let’s think: what kind of pizza? Where do you eat it? Why do you like it?” Show them how to move from vague prompts to concrete steps.

2. Ask Them to Repeat Back the Instruction

This does two things. First, it helps you check if they understood. Second, it strengthens their memory and engagement. If they can’t repeat it or say “I forgot already,” that tells you more than if they just stayed quiet.

3. Use Playful Tools to Make Instructions Memorable

Some kids are auditory learners—they understand better when they hear things, not just read them. If that sounds like your child, you might explore turning lesson content and instructions into audio format. Some learning tools, like the Skuli app (on iOS and Android), let you record or upload a lesson and transform it into a personalized audio adventure where your child becomes the hero—even using their first name. Sneak in instructions and learning goals along the way, and suddenly homework doesn’t feel so mysterious or stressful.

4. Make Sure the Environment Isn’t Getting in the Way

Sometimes what seems like a comprehension problem is actually a concentration one. Is your child tired? Hungry? Overwhelmed by a noisy classroom or tense from hours of sitting still? Many kids who don’t fit the typical mold are misread at school, and their real needs go unseen. Before diving into support strategies, try observing when and where the confusion happens. Patterns often tell a larger story.

Reframing Expectations—Ours and Theirs

When kids feel they’re constantly failing to “get it,” they begin to internalize that as “I’m just not good at school.” That shame becomes a wall between them and learning. But what if we flip the script?

Instead of assuming the instruction is the problem, assume your child has a brilliant way of thinking—and they just haven’t been given the right decoder ring yet. This shift in mindset changes everything. You begin to see a child who isn’t disobedient, but trying their best within the limits of their current tools.

When To Seek Additional Help

If you notice consistent struggles with instructions, across multiple environments (home, school, activities), it might be time to talk to their teacher or even consult with a learning specialist. Common diagnoses that impact processing include ADHD, auditory processing disorder, and language-based learning disabilities like dyslexia. But remember: a diagnosis isn’t a label—it’s a map. And with the right map, you and your child can navigate forward together.

Know that you’re not alone. Many exhausted families have walked this path, and the more we learn to understand—not punish or rush—our children, the more we empower them to thrive. If you’re juggling that question—“Why can’t my child just follow directions like everyone else?”—you’re already asking the right questions. The next step is remembering that every child learns and listens in their own time and way. And that is perfectly, wonderfully okay.