How to Help Your Child Overcome Their Fear of Making Mistakes in Class
Understanding the fear behind raising a hand
You've probably seen it before: your child knows the answer at home, rattling off multiplication tables, explaining the water cycle, or correcting your grammar just for fun. But in class, their hand stays glued to the desk. When they’re called on, their voice is barely a whisper. And if they get something wrong? The fallout might be tears, silence, or a backpack angrily shoved into a corner.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone—and neither is your child. Many children between the ages of 6 and 12 experience the intense fear of making mistakes in front of others. It’s not necessarily about the material; it’s about what happens when they get something wrong. The embarrassment. The judgment. The pressure to be perfect.
This fear can quietly erode your child’s confidence and willingness to participate in learning. But the good news is: it’s not permanent. With time, understanding, and a few key strategies, you can help your child feel safer—and maybe even braver—about getting it wrong sometimes.
Where does this fear come from?
Fear of failure often begins when a child equates their self-worth with being correct. For some kids, especially those who are naturally high-achieving or have perfectionist tendencies, mistakes feel like personal failures rather than learning opportunities. Others may have had a negative experience—something as seemingly small as a peer giggling when they gave a wrong answer, or a teacher correcting them too brusquely. These moments can imprint deeply.
It’s important to know that this fear can also be a quiet signal of anxiety, especially social anxiety. If your child avoids eye contact, steers clear of group activities, or seems terrified of being called on, this deeper fear of failure might be signaling a need for extra emotional support.
Shift the goal: from being right to being brave
One of the most powerful shifts we can help our children make is to redefine success. Rather than measuring success by how many answers they got right or whether they avoided embarrassment, we can teach them to view brave participation—the act of trying—as the real win.
This often begins at home with the tone we set around mistakes. When your child brings up a school difficulty or shares that they made a mistake, how you respond matters. Instead of rushing to fix or correct, try asking: "What did you learn?" or "What will you try next time?" These questions encourage exploration and growth, rather than reinforcing a need for perfection.
For example, one parent recently told me that during dinner each night, their family shares a “mistake of the day.” It’s become a game: who did something the silliest or most unexpected? The goal isn’t to laugh at the mistake, but to normalize it—to show that everyone, parents included, makes them.
Building confidence through safe practice
Gradual exposure to making mistakes in a low-risk environment is key. This helps children learn that the world doesn’t end when they get something wrong. One gentle way to do this is to create home environments where your child can experiment with learning away from watchful eyes or peers.
If your child is studying for an upcoming lesson, consider using tools that allow them to engage privately and playfully. For example, turning their lesson notes into an interactive quiz can make the review feel more like a game and less like a test. The Skuli App lets you take a photo of a written lesson and instantly transforms it into a personalized, 20-question quiz. This gives your child a chance to make mistakes in a pressure-free setting and correct them right away—turning errors into immediate learning without the sting of public correction.
For children who are especially hesitant to speak up in class, learning through audio (for example, listening to their lesson content during car rides) can help reinforce their understanding and build quiet confidence. By the time they get to school, they'll feel more prepared—and less afraid of a wrong turn.
Encouraging effort over outcome
Countless studies have shown that praising effort rather than intelligence supports a growth mindset. But what does that sound like in real life?
- "You really stayed with that tough problem—it shows how determined you are."
- "I noticed you raised your hand today, even if you weren’t sure. That was so brave."
- "It’s okay that you didn’t get it right the first time—you experimented, and that’s how you learn."
This small language shift can make a big impact. Your child starts to believe that what you care most about is their persistence and courage, not just getting it right. That belief can gradually override the inner fear-monologue that whispers “Don’t mess up.”
When setbacks happen, support the bounce back
Even with all the right support, your child will occasionally make mistakes and feel awful afterward. That’s okay. What matters most is how they process the experience, and how you walk with them through it. Some kids tend to shut down completely after a mistake; others need time before they can talk about it. Be patient, and remind them (gently and often) that one experience doesn’t define their ability to grow.
In a moment like this, you can revisit past times they stumbled and recovered. Maybe they once messed up a spelling test but aced the next one. Help them see the arc—not just the dip. They are building not just academic skills, but mental resilience.
Planting seeds of courage
Helping your child overcome the fear of making mistakes in class is less about fixing them—and more about believing in them. It’s about slowing things down, making space for failure, and celebrating even the smallest attempts to try again. It's about encouraging the messy middle of learning and holding space while they sort through it.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to let them know that trying, falling, and getting back up is exactly what school—and life—is about. Their courage starts there, sitting next to you, being seen—even in the moments they feel small.