When Your Child Tries Hard but Still Struggles: Who Can Help?

Understanding the Frustration of Unrewarded Effort

You've watched your child work for hours on their homework—erasing, re-trying, sometimes crying. You've praised them for trying, told them effort matters. But still, the grades don’t follow, and the confidence begins to crack. It's painful to see a child discouraged despite their dedication, and often, parents are left wondering: Is it me? Is it them? Or is something else going on?

If this feels familiar, you are not alone. Many parents of children aged 6 to 12 reach a turning point where they realize that no amount of encouragement seems to move the dial. So, what’s really happening, and more importantly—who can you turn to for help?

Start with What You Know: Observe and Document

The first step is noticing how your child struggles. You may see patterns—a child who reads well but freezes up in math, or one who memorizes beautifully but stumbles over basic comprehension. Keep a simple log over a couple of weeks:

• Which subjects are hardest?
• What time of day do they lose focus?
• How do they describe their own difficulties?

This isn’t about collecting “evidence” for someone else—it’s about uncovering clues that shed light on your child’s learning profile.

Speak to the Teacher—But Go in Prepared

Your next stop should be the classroom teacher, but approach the conversation as a collaboration, not a confrontation. Teachers often have insights we miss at home—how your child works in groups, participates in discussions, or manages transitions.

Be ready to ask open-ended questions:

• “Have you noticed areas where my child seems to struggle more than their peers?”
• “What strategies seem to help—or frustrate—them in class?”

If the teacher acknowledges a pattern but resources at school are limited, you’ll need to consider further steps. In some cases, schools may resist putting accommodations in place. If that’s your experience, this guide on what to do when schools refuse to provide an AVS will be incredibly helpful.

Call in the Experts: Pedagogical and Psychological Evaluations

When effort and encouragement aren’t addressing the root issues, it may be time to consult specialists. A neuropsychologist or educational psychologist can conduct evaluations to understand if your child has a learning disorder, attention issues, or other cognitive profiles like dyslexia, dysgraphia, or ADHD.

These evaluations can be done privately or through the public sector but may require patience due to waiting times. Once you have results, they can form the basis for a personalized learning plan (PAP or PPS), which provides legal accommodations at school.

Don’t Underestimate Emotional Needs

Academic difficulty is rarely isolated. A child who invests hours in studying but feels like a failure may develop anxiety, shame, or even behavioral issues. This is particularly true for highly sensitive children, who internalize their struggles deeply.

If your child expresses things like "I'm stupid," "I'll never get it," or "Why try if it doesn’t help?"—don’t dismiss it as self-pity. These expressions are signals. A child psychologist or school counselor can be valuable allies here, helping restore self-worth and build emotional tools to navigate challenges.

What If the School Isn’t Doing Enough?

In many systems, especially large public ones, schools may be slow or resistant to responding appropriately. If your child isn’t receiving adequate support, you may need to advocate more firmly. This might include meeting with the school’s principal, requesting formal meetings with the school counselor, or even contacting advocacy organizations. For a deeper dive, this article explains your rights and next steps when the school doesn't meet your child's needs.

At Home: Shift the Experience of Learning

While you’re navigating evaluations and school meetings, remember that powerful transformations can start quietly—right at the kitchen table or during a car ride. The key is to shift the experience of learning from a constant reminder of struggle to a source of agency and curiosity.

For example, if your child dreads reviewing history lessons, consider turning them into audio stories where they’re the main character. One app we’ve come across lets you upload a photo of the lesson and turns it into an adventure with your child’s name woven into the storyline. For children who feel left behind in a typical classroom, tools like this bring agency, imagination, and joy back into the process.

These resources aren't a replacement for support from teachers or specialists—but they add something essential: a renewed sense of inner motivation.

Above All: You're Not Alone

It’s crushing to watch your child give their best only to be met with silence from the school system or disappointment in the mirror. But there are paths forward—and they often begin with one brave step, like asking a teacher a vulnerable question, scheduling that long-postponed evaluation, or simply changing how learning happens at home.

You're not overreacting. You're not imagining things. You're a parent who sees their child’s resilience and wants the world to see it, too. And with the right support, in and out of school, that possibility is very real.

Dig deeper into what you can do when your child feels misunderstood by their teachers—because advocating for their future begins by understanding their present.