When Fidgeting Hides a Cry for Help: Understanding Misinterpreted Behaviors at School

When Movement Speaks Louder Than Words

If you're a parent of a child who always seems to be moving—tapping fingers, bouncing legs, interrupting, never quite still—there’s a good chance someone at school has used the word “disruptive.” Maybe even "unmotivated," or worst of all, “lazy.” These labels sting, especially when, in your heart, you feel like that restlessness is saying something else entirely.

You’re not alone. And your child might not be acting out—they might just be overwhelmed, confused, or trying to stay afloat in a learning environment that doesn’t make sense to them. Often, what looks like agitation is actually a signal that a child needs help, not punishment.

Seeing the Struggle Beneath the Surface

Think back to the last time you sat in a meeting when you didn’t understand what was going on. Maybe it was a presentation heavy with jargon, or an unfamiliar topic. How long before your mind wandered? How quickly did boredom shift to frustration, your leg quietly bouncing beneath the table?

This is what school feels like every day for many children who struggle with processing information, focus, or learning differences. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s that they are lost—and movement becomes their way of coping. Their bodies signal stress when their words can’t.

In fact, behaviors like getting out of a seat, talking out of turn, or refusing assignments may be covering something deeper. We dive into this more in this article on hidden learning disorders, where we explore why so many kids act out when they’re silently struggling with comprehension or attention.

What School Might Be Missing

Many schools are equipped to deal with academic issues, but still struggle when it comes to interpreting behaviors as communication. For example, a child who zones out during instruction might be seen as not trying, when in reality they may just need the information delivered differently—visually, aurally, or even interactively.

One mom I spoke to—let’s call her Sarah—told me about her 9-year-old son, Lucas, who was constantly being sent out of the classroom for being "disruptive." But when she observed him during homework at home, she noticed he was trying to follow but just couldn’t keep up. "He’d stand up and walk away when I was explaining math," she said. "I thought he was being rude, but he later told me he just couldn’t understand, and walking helped him think."

Lucas wasn’t misbehaving. He was overstimulated and anxious—and his brain was trying to problem-solve in the only way it knew how. Sarah eventually worked with his teacher to introduce audio materials and more hands-on activities. She also found value in using the Skuli App, which turned some of Lucas’s trickiest written lessons into audio adventures starring *him*. Suddenly, lessons weren’t something he had to run from—they became an experience he looked forward to.

Helping Teachers See the Full Picture

Teachers work hard, but they don’t always have the full story. That’s where you come in. As a parent, you can observe not only what your child struggles with, but how they react to that struggle. Are they moving more when a specific subject is introduced? Do they ask repeated questions? Or shut down entirely?

Collaborate with educators by sharing what you see. Show them patterns. Ask what they've noticed, too. Use language that invites partnership—not blame. A great starting point could be: “I’ve been watching how my child reacts when faced with new math concepts. I wonder if his restlessness could be masking confusion or stress—what do you think?”

In this other piece, we talk about how mislabeling behavior can actually delay the help a child really needs and what you—as a caring observer—can do about it.

Building a Toolbox Instead of Building Tension

When we make room for different learning styles and emotional needs, we change the narrative from "my child is difficult" to "my child learns differently." That might mean incorporating:

• Breaks for movement: Allowing a child to recharge their nervous system can improve focus.
• Flexible formats for learning: Some children respond better to listening than reading, or to learning through games and stories instead of drills.
• Creating at-home supports: For example, turning a photo of a difficult lesson into an interactive quiz (like you can do with certain learning apps) can make review feel less like a punishment and more like play.

And remember: your child’s behavior at school may differ from how they act at home. We explore that in depth in this guide on school/home behavior differences, including why the gap occurs and how you can support both settings without confusing your child.

Your Compassion Matters More Than You Know

One of the most powerful tools your child has is you: the adult who sees them clearly, listens between the lines of their behavior, and looks beyond the surface. A child who wiggles, talks out, or walks away isn’t failing—they’re communicating. And because they trust you, you get to be the one who helps them find new ways to learn, cope, and shine.

If you’re ever unsure whether your child’s behavior comes from laziness or learning struggles, this article offers a helpful perspective. Spoiler: Kids want to succeed—they just don’t always have the map.

So let’s give them one.