What to Say When Your Daughter Thinks School Is Useless
When Your Child Says “School Is Pointless”
It hits like a punch in the gut—the moment your daughter comes home, slumps on the couch, and says with a sigh, "School is useless." Your first instinct might be to respond with a lecture, or to explain all the ways school is important. But before you jump to fix the statement, pause. Breathe. Let’s unpack what might be hiding beneath those words.
When children between 6 and 12 say things like this, it’s rarely about school in the bigger picture. Often, it’s a sign of discouragement, frustration, or even boredom. And as a parent, your role isn’t to force belief into learning—but to help your child rediscover meaning and confidence in the process.
“Why Should I Even Learn This?” — Understanding What’s Really Being Said
When a child says school is useless, it might be because:
- They feel lost in lessons they don’t understand.
- They’ve stopped seeing the relevance between what they’re learning and the real world.
- They feel like no matter how hard they try, they can’t do well.
- They’ve experienced embarrassment in class or felt overlooked by teachers.
Try asking open questions before offering explanations. For example:
“What part of school is feeling the most pointless to you?”
“Did something happen today that made you feel like school doesn’t matter?”
“Is there something you're learning that doesn't make sense right now?”
Responses to these questions can help you understand the true emotion behind their words. Sometimes, what sounds like defiance is really vulnerability. You might want to read why you should always take your child's school stories seriously to better grasp this dynamic.
Reconnect Learning to What Matters to Her
One of the best ways to help your daughter rediscover value in school is to connect learning to things that matter to her personally. If she loves animals, reading nonfiction stories about endangered species can breathe life into a flat science worksheet. If she’s curious about outer space, math suddenly becomes a way to calculate distances between planets. Learning sticks when it feels personal.
You can support this at home in small, creative ways. For example:
- Encourage her to write a short story where she solves a mystery using the math lesson from class.
- Let her teach you what she’s learned by turning it into a game or short quiz (and you be the student).
- Use drive-time or before-bed moments to listen to the same lesson in a different format. Some apps can turn written material into audio adventures where she becomes the hero—imagine your daughter hearing her own name as the protagonist solving history riddles or navigating a science mission. These simple shifts can reignite curiosity.
Avoid the “Hard Sell” About School
We all want our children to grow up understanding the value of education. But sometimes, the more we push, the more they pull away. Lecturing about how school gives access to jobs or opens doors might feel logical to us—but to a child, it can feel distant and unconvincing (especially when she’s just feeling defeated about long division).
Instead, show curiosity toward her opinions. Even if she says, “School is dumb,” ask her what she means and acknowledge how valid it is to question systems. Children are thinkers. When they feel heard rather than judged, they’re more likely to open up and discuss their real concerns.
If your child struggles to talk openly, it can help to read why some kids never want to talk about their grades or how to support your child who's afraid to speak to teachers.
Find Little Wins (and Celebrate Them)
When everything feels pointless to your child, small moments of success can create powerful momentum. It might be finishing a spelling list, understanding a new concept, or raising their hand in class when they usually stay silent. But progress rarely feels satisfying unless it’s seen—and celebrated.
Take a moment each day to reflect with your child on one thing they accomplished. If they struggle to identify wins, suggest something specific. Show pride in effort, not just outcomes—but be genuine. Over-the-top praise can feel hollow. And if they do well in a quiz or a school project, encourage them to share. If you're not sure how to spark that conversation, you might enjoy our piece on how to encourage your child to share school successes.
Reframing Learning as an Adventure
Sometimes the school format itself—text-heavy, repetitive, overwhelming—just doesn’t click with some children. If your daughter learns better by hearing rather than reading, or needs to “experience” learning in an imaginative way to stay engaged, look for tools that honor her learning style.
For example, if she struggles to retain a history lesson, taking a photo of it and transforming it into a personalized quiz can make review feel like a game instead of a chore. Or imagine turning that same lesson into a funny audio story that she can listen to in the car—one that turns her into the main character solving puzzles from the past. This kind of playful, immersive experience is how many families use the Skuli App—it helps the lesson come alive, especially for children who need something a little different than sitting at a desk with a textbook.
Final Thoughts: Rediscovering Purpose Together
When your daughter says school seems pointless, what she needs most isn’t correction—it’s connection. She needs to know that you’re listening, that her feelings make sense, and that there are many paths to making learning meaningful. You’re not alone in navigating this. It takes time, ongoing conversations, and sometimes trial-and-error. But even small changes—a different approach, a new way of engaging with material, hearing a lesson in her own voice—can help strip away the apathy and let new enthusiasm grow.
And perhaps most importantly, try not to panic. A child declaring school as "useless" today doesn’t mean they’ve lost their drive forever. With your support, they can slowly reconnect the dots between what they’re learning now and the life they're dreaming about tomorrow.