How to Encourage Your Child to Share Their School Successes Openly

Why Some Children Stay Silent About Success

“How was school today?” you ask, hoping for a window into your child’s day. But all you get is a shrug, a “fine,” and the sound of your backpack-wearing kid disappearing into their room.

If this resonates with you, know you’re not alone—and it doesn’t necessarily mean your child didn't have a good day. In fact, many children between the ages of 6 and 12 find it hard to talk about their achievements, especially when they’re unsure how to read your reaction, or their own.

Sometimes, a child who’s had a breakthrough—nailed a math problem, read aloud without stuttering, got a kind compliment from the teacher—will say nothing. Not because it didn’t matter to them, but because they’re not quite sure how to share it. Or whether they should. As a parent, your role is not just to praise success but to create a safe, warm space where success feels welcome and celebrated.

Celebration Begins With Connection

Children tend to open up when they feel safe, heard, and unjudged. That means your child needs more than just an enthusiastic “Great job!” to feel truly seen. They need your curiosity, not just your compliments.

Instead of questions like “Did you get any good grades today?” or “Were you the best in class?”, try inviting your child into a low-pressure conversation. Questions like:

• “Was there a moment today that made you feel proud?”
• “What’s something small you did today that you don’t think most people noticed?”
• “Is there something you figured out today that felt tricky at first?”

These questions help children notice their own growth—even when it doesn't come with a certificate or a gold star. They also serve as emotional bridges, making it clear that school isn’t just about performance; it’s about effort, learning, and self-worth.

This also helps parents decode what kids don’t say about school, which can often tell you more than what they do.

Making Achievements Feel Like Adventures

Kids between 6 and 12 are still in what you might call the “epic quest” phase of childhood. They live imaginatively, even when they don’t show it. That’s why abstract praise like “You're smart” doesn't always land; but recognizing their effort (“You really stuck with that, even when it was frustrating”) turns their actions into meaningful progress.

For kids who learn better through storytelling or play, try adding a layer of creativity to school routines. For instance, if your child recently mastered a science topic or read their first chapter book, weave those moments into your own version of a bedtime story—or better yet, try tools that do it for you. One subtle way to do this is using the Skuli App, which transforms written lessons into personalized audio adventures where your child is the hero, complete with their real name. It’s not only engaging—it helps kids take ownership of their learning and recognize moments of success as something to be proud of and share.

Watch for the Hidden Signs of Pride

Not every success comes with a victory lap. Some kids express pride in quiet, sometimes surprising ways:

• Rereading a section of their homework aloud, without being asked.
• Suddenly wanting to switch roles during play—pretending to be a teacher or guide.
• Using academic vocabulary they struggled with before.

These are windows into what your child is proud of, even if they don’t say so directly. Reflecting these moments back to them—“Sounds like you felt confident explaining that!”—reinforces that they made progress worth noticing.

Still not sure how your child sees their own progress? Our article on how children perceive their school progress may shed some important light.

Helping Your Child Define Success on Their Own Terms

Remember, not every child considers a correct answer or a good grade to be their proudest moment. For a deeply sensitive child, the triumph may be raising their hand in class—a bold act of courage. For a child who finds school either too easy or too hard, academic achievement might be tangled up with feelings of frustration or boredom.

If you recognize this push-pull dynamic, you might explore how to support your child when school doesn’t feel 'just right'. Helping your child define success based on effort and growth rather than comparison is a critical mindset shift—and you're the most powerful guide in helping them make it.

Sharing Success Without Pressure

It’s tempting to react to your child’s wins with immediate praise or a wish to share the news with others. Be honest: has your child ever told you about a success and then clammed up when you responded with too much excitement?

This doesn’t mean they’re not proud—it means they may fear the spotlight that comes next. They may worry you’ll raise the bar, or that you’ll tell grandparents and friends before they’re ready. Slow down. Let the story land. Sometimes, a warm smile and an invitation—“Want to tell me more about that?” or “Do you want to keep that as your little secret for now?”—helps your child feel they own the moment.

Make Room for the Small Wins

It’s easy to focus on milestones—top test scores, trophies, principal’s awards. But children blossom when we notice the details:

• “You spent 10 full minutes understanding that paragraph—that’s real focus.”
• “You used a new word in your writing today—I can see your vocabulary growing.”
• “You were really patient with yourself today during homework.”

When we focus on progress over perfection, we teach kids that learning is a journey and every step counts.

To dive deeper into what your child's interactions at school might reflect, read our exploration of school friendships and their hidden meanings.

Final Thought: Build the Habit, Not the Moment

Your child won’t always come home chirping with school pride. Some days will be hard. Some subjects will feel impossible. But if you keep offering quiet invitations, meeting their stories with empathy, and showing interest without pressure, over time they’ll learn that it’s safe—and joyful—to share their successes with you.

Success, after all, isn’t just what your child achieves at school. It’s also the trust they build with you, word by word, story by story.