What to Do When Your Child’s School Ignores Their Specific Learning Needs

When School Just Doesn’t Get It

For many parents, school is supposed to be a safe and structured space where children can flourish. But what happens when you sense something is off—your child is struggling, their confidence is plummeting, and yet the school simply tells you, "They just need to try harder"? That heavy mix of frustration and helplessness can hit hard.

One mother I recently spoke with, Aline, shared that her son, Gabriel, was having trouble following instructions in class. The school insisted he was just easily distracted. But at home, Aline noticed something more: Gabriel would ask her to repeat things, needed visuals, and remembered stories better than textbook definitions. When she asked the teacher about adapting lessons to Gabriel’s needs, she was met with a blank stare: “We don't have the resources for that.”

If your child isn’t being seen or heard in the classroom, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to go it alone either.

Start With What You Know—and What You See

Parents often know something is wrong long before anyone at school does. Maybe your child comes home crying after math class. Maybe reading homework drags into hours of stress. Sometimes it’s subtle: stomachaches before school, explosive meltdowns over simple tasks, or a sudden drop in self-esteem. Take note of what you see. These behaviors are signals, not shortcomings.

Document specific moments, emotions, and patterns that concern you. This log can become a powerful tool when speaking to teachers or other professionals. You can then ask yourself: where is my child thriving, and where are they sinking?

Be Clear With the School—But Also Be Ready for Resistance

After you've gathered your observations, ask for a meeting with your child’s teacher or support staff. Be honest, but calm. Lead with curiosity: “I've noticed my child struggles to stay focused unless they're doing something hands-on. Have you noticed this at school too?”

But understand this: sometimes—even with the best intentions—the answer might still be no. Some schools lack the training, systems, or even the mindset to offer individualized support. If your child has needs that aren’t formally recognized, accommodations may be denied. In those moments, it’s not uncommon to feel stuck and alone.

If you’ve already tried advocating and the school isn’t responding, you’re likely in the same boat as many parents we’ve spoken to. This piece on what to do when the school refuses accommodations offers a deeper dive into how to respond thoughtfully—but firmly—when you hear the word “no.”

Reframing Success Outside The Classroom Walls

When the school won’t—or can’t—support your child, it's easy to feel like you've hit a wall. But schooling isn’t the same as learning—and wonderful growth can happen elsewhere.

This might mean connecting with outside professionals, like educational therapists or child psychologists. Don’t hesitate to explore the external supports available to struggling learners. There are many options beyond what the school provides, and they can make all the difference.

It could also mean leveraging tools or routines that fit your child's strengths, not their struggles. For example, if your child retains stories better than lectures, try transforming lessons into narratives. Some families use faith-based audio stories, while others get creative using storytelling apps that let children become the hero of their own learning journey. One parent told me how turning her daughter's history chapter into a custom audio adventure using her name and voice made reviewing fun—and finally, seamless. Using tools like Skuli, which allows parents to convert lessons into audio adventures, or even build custom quizzes from a photo of a textbook page, helped her daughter feel seen instead of sidelined.

When Inclusion Doesn’t Feel Inclusive

Many schools claim to embrace inclusive education. But in practice, inclusion sometimes looks more like uniformity—where all children are taught the same way, regardless of their needs. And for kids who don’t fit that mold, this can feel more isolating than supportive.

If you're questioning whether your child's school is truly inclusive, you may find insight in this reflection on whether inclusive education really works for every child. The truth is, while the goal is admirable, implementation varies wildly.

Sometimes, the solution isn’t trying to force a square peg into a round hole but carving out new structures entirely—ones where your child’s unique learning profile guides the approach.

Helping Your Child Understand What’s Happening

Children feel it when their needs aren’t being met—even if they can’t name it. They may feel “stupid” or “bad” without fully understanding why. These emotional responses can cause more harm than any missed lesson in class.

Make space to talk about their experience. Say things like, “It sounds like your teacher doesn’t see how smart you are in other ways,” or “It’s not your fault something feels hard—that just means we find a better way to learn it.” Building self-awareness without blame helps preserve their confidence.

For guidance on how to navigate emotional fallout, this piece on supporting a child who feels left out at school can offer real-life language and ideas.

You're Not Failing—You're Fighting

If no one else tells you this, let it be me: you are not failing your child. In fact, your presence at every frustrating meeting, your willingness to adapt homework tools to meet your child where they are—that is advocacy. That is strength.

This journey may stretch you in ways you never expected. It may involve detours—outside support, tech tools, creative workarounds. That doesn’t make the destination less valid. You’re building a custom path for your child, one brick at a time. And even when the school system doesn't align, your effort is shaping a story of belonging, hope, and resilience.