What to Do When the School Refuses Accommodations for Your Child

When Support Becomes a Battle

You're not imagining things—this is hard. You’ve spoken with the teachers, forwarded the reports, attended the meetings. Maybe a specialist diagnosed your child with dyslexia, ADHD, or a learning delay, and you've been advocating for reasonable support in the classroom ever since. Only to hear the dreaded response: "We can’t accommodate that right now." So what do you do when the people meant to help your child succeed, simply won’t—or can’t?

First of all, take a breath. You’re not alone. Thousands of parents hear this every year, and while it feels incredibly personal (because it is), it’s also part of a bigger, systemic issue. Schools are often under-resourced, teachers stretched thin, and systems slow to change. But that doesn’t mean your child has to fall through the cracks.

Understanding What the School Is Really Saying

When schools say no to accommodations, it’s rarely because they don’t care. More often, they’re overwhelmed, unsure how to implement specific supports, or unaware of your child’s rights. Depending on where you live, accommodations might be legally mandated—like through an IEP (Individualized Education Program) or 504 Plan in the U.S.—or they might fall into a gray area that requires careful negotiation.

Sometimes, the refusal is due to a lack of a formal diagnosis. Or perhaps your child’s struggles don’t "fit" into a typical profile. Inclusive education is a wonderful ideal, but in practice, it doesn’t always meet each child's specific needs.

Try to document everything: conversations, refusals, observations from home, private assessment reports. These become your allies later. And keep looping back to this central truth—your child deserves to learn the way that works best for them.

Finding Allies Outside the Classroom

If the school is unwilling to accommodate, sometimes your best next move is to look beyond its walls. Educational psychologists, speech therapists, occupational therapists, and even parent advocacy groups can offer assessments, advice, and strategies schools might listen to more seriously.

Private support can’t always replace school-based assistance, but it can help you build a clearer picture of what your child needs. And in many cases, an outside opinion can prompt the school to reconsider. We wrote more about this in our piece on who can help your struggling child outside the classroom.

Adapting at Home While the System Catches Up

One parent told us about her son, Leo, an 8-year-old with auditory processing challenges. The school declined her request for listening breaks and oral instructions, claiming it wasn’t "standard practice." Devastated but determined, she began adapting his lessons at home—reading content aloud to him during dinner, or recording vocab lists so he could listen before bed.

This approach took a toll, but it also helped Leo reconnect with learning—something he had begun to avoid altogether. His confidence grew, and his schoolwork improved, even without formal support.

For many families, home becomes the refuge. And using the tools available to you—however imperfect—can make a surprisingly big difference. For instance, some parents use the Skuli App to turn a photo of a worksheet or lesson into a personalized audio story, placing their child at the center of the adventure. Suddenly, review time becomes less about pressure and more about play—and that shift can change everything.

What to Say in the Next Meeting

Whether you're speaking with a teacher, principal, or school psychologist, framing your concerns through your child’s lived experience often makes the message impossible to ignore. Try starting with what you see at home:

• "My daughter avoids reading at night now. She says it makes her feel 'dumb.'"
• "He’s developed stomach aches every morning before school."
• "We’ve tried doing homework the 'normal' way. It always ends in tears. Here’s what worked instead..."

Follow this with a calm, clear request: not simply for accommodation, but for collaboration. Ask, "How can we work together to try this?" rather than "Why won’t you support this?" Staying solution-oriented, even when you're frustrated, keeps the conversation open.

If you need more strategies for these conversations, our guide on what to do when school doesn’t meet your child’s needs offers more detailed steps.

And If Nothing Changes?

Truthfully, sometimes it doesn't. And when the system won’t budge, you’re faced with tough choices—sometimes exploring other schools, legal rights, or new learning environments altogether. Depending on where you live, you might consider filing a formal complaint, requesting mediation, or even pursuing a tribunal process.

But not all solutions are that dramatic. You might find ways to supplement and uplift at home while chipping away at systemic resistance one conversation at a time. You may also take comfort in this truth: your child isn’t broken—they just haven’t found the environment that fits yet.

In the meantime, focus on preserving your child's love of learning. That spark is fragile, but with the right encouragement, it never truly goes out. Tools like games, storytelling, flexible routines, and adaptive strategies—like transforming written content into audio during long car rides—can engage your child without exhausting you. Focus less on the format, and more on the connection.

Keep Advocating, Gently but Firmly

There’s no single roadmap when your child’s needs go unmet. But at the heart of this journey is persistence, guided by empathy and hope. When you feel overwhelmed, remember: you are the expert on your child. Schools bring their expertise, yes—but you bring your child’s story, and that matters just as much.

If your child feels unsupported or excluded, our article on helping children who feel left out at school may offer some emotional first aid. Or, if your child is beginning to believe they don’t belong at all, this reflection piece might be a good next read.

For now, keep showing up, keep asking questions, and keep weaving your child's needs into every conversation. Progress may be slow. But it is possible.