What to Do When Your Child Says They're 'Bad at School'

When your child says, “I’m just no good at school”

It can be heartbreaking to hear those words. You see your child’s potential, their curiosity, their creativity... and still, they come home from school with slumped shoulders and the belief that they’re simply not good enough. If you're a parent of a child between six and twelve, you've likely heard something like this before — maybe not in words, but in sighs, silence, or frustration during homework time. The question is: how do you respond?

First, pause and listen — really listen

When a child says they’re “bad at school,” they’re not usually looking for corrections. They’re asking for someone to witness their struggle. Our instinct might be to reassure them quickly: “Of course you’re not bad at school!” But the most powerful thing you can do in that moment is to pause and sit beside their feelings.

You might say, “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me what happened today that made you feel that way?” Creating space for them to talk is the first step toward rebuilding their confidence. If you’re not sure where to start, we wrote more about how to listen to school stories seriously and why those small conversations matter so much.

Unpacking what “I’m no good” really means

Often, when kids say they’re not good at school, it doesn’t mean they’re failing academically. It may mean they’re comparing themselves to peers. Or that a certain subject feels like a wall too high to climb. Or that they’ve made a mistake and feel overwhelmed with shame.

Instead of focusing on performance, look beneath their words:

• Is there one subject that triggers this feeling?
• Have there been recent conflicts with a teacher or classmates?
• Do they feel lonely or unsupported during the school day?

Sometimes, kids won’t have the words for this yet. In those cases, patterns are your friend. Notice when the negative self-talk shows up — is it always before math homework or after language class? Is it after a test? You may find helpful clues as we explored further in our guide to kids who feel overwhelmed or underchallenged.

Shift the conversation: from identity to experience

“I’m bad at school” is a fixed identity. It leaves no room for growth. We want to gently help our kids focus instead on their experience. It’s not that they’re “bad” at school — it’s that school feels difficult lately. That’s a subtle, but powerful change.

You might say: “It sounds like it’s been really tough lately with schoolwork. But I know that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you can’t get better at it.” Giving your child back their sense of agency — the belief that they can shape their experience — is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer.

Rewrite the story — together

Children naturally create stories about themselves: “I’m the slow one,” “I’m the one who never gets it right.” If we let these narratives go unchallenged, they take root. But stories can be rewritten — especially when you do it with your child.

One powerful approach is to help your child notice their own progress over time, even if small. Celebrate not just the end result (a grade on a test) but the process — the practice they put in, the moment they didn’t give up.

For kids who need help staying engaged, blending review with imagination can help. Some apps, like Skuli, can turn lesson content into personalized audio adventures where your child is the hero — literally. Hearing their own name in a story that reinforces math or science content can help reshape how they feel about learning itself — from frustration to fun, from passive to powerful.

Build a new environment for learning

If school feels like constant defeat, home can become the place where your child rediscovers success. This doesn’t mean more worksheets. Instead, try to create low-pressure learning environments that suit your child’s pace and style.

Some kids thrive when they hear things instead of reading them — turning their written lessons into audio using tools like text-to-speech can help during car rides or relaxed moments. Others might benefit from transforming a snapshot of the day’s whiteboard into a quiz they can play with you at home — making learning feel more like a game than a chore.

Ask yourself: when is your child most confident during the day? What learning formats (visual, audio, tactile) come most naturally to them? Small adjustments here can create massive shifts in motivation.

Give them other ways to shine

Academics are only one kind of intelligence. A child who struggles in the classroom might be gifted in empathy, design, movement, music, or storytelling. Find other spaces where your child’s talents can be seen — not just by you, but by others too.

Volunteer projects, coding games, creative writing prompts, weekend science kits — these can all provide joy and competence. Resources like our article on helping your child talk about their successes can help you bring more balance to the stories they tell themselves.

Final thoughts: You are your child’s mirror

When your child doubts their worth, they look to you for clues. Your belief in them, even when they're struggling, will become the bedrock they return to. Speak to their effort, their character, their persistence. Show them how you work through challenges too — your struggles with learning new things, and how you get back up again.

Finally, if your child’s sadness or frustration about school feels persistent and deep, don’t hesitate to seek support. Teachers, pediatricians, and child psychologists can all be part of the village that helps your child feel whole again.

Remember, your child doesn’t need to be perfect at school. They just need to believe they are allowed to grow. And with your help — they will.

For more on navigating this journey with care, read about why some kids avoid talking about their grades and how you can create openness without pressure.