What To Do When Your Child Can't Keep Up at School

Recognizing When the Struggle Is More Than Just a Phase

You’ve noticed the signs: your child is constantly overwhelmed by homework, dreads going to school, or seems miles behind their classmates. Perhaps the tears spill during math, or maybe they simply shut down whenever the word “reading” comes up. As a parent, this can be heartbreaking—especially when you know how smart and capable your child is, if only they could catch a break.

It’s tempting to hope that things will just get better on their own, or that this is just a temporary slump. But often, these struggles go deeper than a tough week or a tricky topic. If your child consistently can’t keep up with the school rhythm, it’s time to pause and reassess. Not to panic, but to listen—and act with intention.

Start with the Hard Conversation

Before anything else, talk to your child. Not about grades or missed homework, but about how they feel during the school day. Are they lost within the first 10 minutes of class? Do they feel anxious raising their hand? Are they zoning out, pretending to understand?

Sometimes, kids don’t come out and say “I’m overwhelmed” — instead, they act out, grow silent, or start believing they're not smart. Ask open-ended questions, and be ready to simply listen. Telling your child, "I’m here, and we’re going to figure this out together," creates the safety net they need.

Look Beneath the Surface

Falling behind can be caused by many things. A learning disability, yes, but also anxiety, attention issues, or even a mismatch between teaching style and learning preference. Know this: struggling doesn’t mean lazy. In fact, many kids put in double the effort just to stay afloat—even if that effort doesn’t show in their grades.

If the teacher has flagged issues, take their observations seriously. But also trust your instincts. Here's how to navigate those conversations with the school. You can also explore a full evaluation, whether through the school or a private specialist, to better understand what your child needs.

Adjusting the Learning Pace at Home

School moves at one speed. Your child might move at another. That’s okay. Home is the space where they can catch their breath and, potentially, rediscover what makes learning joyful. But that doesn’t mean more hours of flashcards or doubling down on what’s already not working.

Instead, think in terms of alternative entry points. Is your child constantly moving, unable to sit still? They might benefit from learning while walking, listening, or even acting out lessons. Some kids thrive when knowledge comes to them via story and imagination. For example, transforming dry subject matter into an audio adventure—where your child becomes the hero of a math quest—can be a game changer. (Some tools, like the Skuli app, offer just that: turning lessons into personalized audio journeys using your child’s name.)

If your child processes best through listening, converting lessons into audio format—say, to play in the car or before bed—can reinforce learning when the visual approach isn’t working.

And if focus is the challenge, try breaking down material into micro-sessions, or using tech wisely to generate quizzes from their lessons. This helps review in a bite-sized, interactive way that feels far less intimidating than facing a blank notebook.

Redefining Expectations (Including Ours)

As parents, we want our kids to succeed—not just academically, but emotionally. Yet, sometimes our own expectations (even unspoken ones) can add pressure. If you're grieving the child you thought you'd have—the one who’d glide effortlessly through school—know that you're not alone. And your child needs to know it’s okay to stumble.

Progress may not look like straight As. It might look like finishing a book, speaking up in class, or even trusting you enough to say, "Today was hard." Success starts with that kind of emotional safety.

Finding Motivation Again

Once a child begins to believe they're 'behind,' it can be hard to reignite interest in school at all. They may shut down, use humor to deflect, or feign disinterest. What they truly need isn’t more correction—it’s more connection.

Bringing in passions—whether sports, animals, art, or space—can help re-anchor learning in something that feels relevant. If your child is obsessed with dinosaurs, there’s a reading lesson hiding in that obsession. And if they feel like they’re the only kid who struggles, remind them they’re not. Here’s how to rekindle motivation when school feels like a lost cause.

Choosing the Long View

Your child’s academic journey won’t be defined by this one phase—nor by one report card. Many children who lag in the early elementary years blossom later on. What matters most is supporting their curiosity, their confidence, and their connection to learning.

Kids can thrive, even after a rocky start. Sometimes, their path is unconventional—but always, it's worth walking with them.

Closing Thoughts

You don’t need to have all the answers today. But your presence, your willingness to adjust, to question, to advocate—that's already more powerful than any textbook. Keep asking, keep observing, and most of all, keep showing up. Your child doesn’t need perfection. They need a parent who sees them and refuses to give up.

For deeper insight into rethinking learning entirely, consider exploring alternative learning methods that align with how your child learns best. There's a universe of ways to learn out there—and perhaps, your child just needs a map that feels like their own.