What to Do If Your Child Gets Anxious Before a Test

When Test Anxiety Takes Over: What You Can Do as a Parent

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, watching your child fidget with a pencil, eyebrows knitted in worry. Tomorrow is the big math test, and instead of focusing on reviewing material, their hands are clammy and their thoughts scattered. If you’ve found yourself in this moment—torn between wanting to reassure them and feeling helpless—it’s important to know you’re not alone. And more importantly, there are ways to help.

Understanding Where the Anxiety Comes From

Test anxiety is rarely about just the test. It’s often tangled up in your child’s sense of identity, fear of failure, and even a desire to make you proud. For children between the ages of 6 and 12, these feelings may not come out in words—they come out in stomachaches, tears, or flat-out refusal to go to school. And it’s not always easy to spot when their anxiety is about more than just not knowing the material.

Sometimes, anxiety around testing can stem from bigger academic struggles. If you’re not sure whether that’s the case, this guide can help you identify signs your child might be struggling in school.

Make Space for Feelings Without Fixing Everything

When our kids are anxious, our natural instinct is to reassure them: “Don’t worry, you’ll do great!” But while the intention is pure, sometimes this glosses over what they're actually feeling. Before you offer solutions, take a moment to validate their emotions. A simple, "It sounds like you're nervous about this test. That makes sense—tests can feel really big," can be surprisingly powerful.

Let them talk, cry, or even stay quiet. The goal isn’t to make the anxiety disappear—it’s to help them not feel alone in it. Once emotions are seen and heard, their ability to move past them grows.

Break Down Preparation into Ownership

One of the biggest causes of anxiety is the feeling of being unprepared. But constant drilling or reactive late-night studying usually makes it worse. What helps instead is structure—a gentle, doable rhythm that helps them feel in charge of their own learning.

This doesn’t require two-hour evening study sessions. Even 15 minutes a day can go a long way, especially if used consistently. If you’re not sure how to create that rhythm, this article on building an after-school review routine offers simple and sustainable ideas.

Consider integrating review in ways that don’t feel like studying. If your child prefers audio learning, for instance, the Sculi App can turn their written notes into an audio adventure where they’re the main character—especially helpful during car rides to school or while brushing teeth before bed. That kind of playful review sneaks in confidence without pressure.

Help Them Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

“Just try your best” is another phrase we love, but sometimes kids interpret it as “do perfectly.” Instead, reinforce effort over performance. Ask questions like, "What helped you remember things during your science test last week?" or “What felt tough the last time, and what did you do about it?”

Encouraging a growth mindset helps shift their focus from grades to growth. If your child does poorly despite preparing, it’s a chance to model resilience. This reflection on turning mistakes into learning opportunities can deepen your perspective—and theirs.

The Day Before the Test: Ease, Don’t Cram

Try not to let the evening before the test turn into a last-minute cram session. That often leads to higher anxiety and lower retention. Instead, help them do a quick review of what they already know. Confidence builds when children feel familiar with material, not overwhelmed by it.

Some parents find success by letting kids quiz themselves. For example, taking a photo of a lesson page and turning it into a personalized quiz—like what Sculi does—can transform the review into a game rather than a grind.

Then, focus on feeding them a nourishing dinner, preparing their backpack together, and getting to bed on time. Create a gentle nighttime ritual, even just a few minutes long: a cuddly blanket, calm breathing, and a reminder that this one test doesn’t define who they are.

Encourage Self-Calming Tools

Some children benefit from learning simple physical tools for calming their bodies during anxiety spikes. These techniques shouldn’t only be introduced when they’re panicking; instead, practice at neutral times so they become familiar.

• Five-finger breathing: Trace their fingers with the opposite hand while breathing in and out slowly with each finger.
• Grounding: Ask them to name five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste.
• Movement breaks: Before going into school, walking around the block or doing a few jumping jacks can help physically release nervous energy.

What Matters Most

Watching your child struggle with test anxiety is heart-wrenching. But this experience—this one test, hard as it is—also teaches them something immensely valuable: how to face stress and come through the other side.

Your unwavering support, your calm presence, and your belief that their worth isn’t measured by a grade, will always matter more than any one academic moment. If you’re wondering why your child might be so deeply affected by school performance, this perspective on school motivation can offer further insights.

And on the days when your empathy feels like it’s running on empty, take heart in remembering this: parenting isn’t about fixing every problem but helping your child feel safe enough to face theirs. One test at a time.