What Are Executive Functions in Children and How to Help Them Grow

Understanding Why Your Child Struggles to Stay Focused or Get Started

It’s 6:30 in the evening. You’ve just finished work, and your child still hasn’t begun their reading or math homework. You’ve reminded them three times. Their notebook is open, pencil sharpened—but nothing is happening. Sound familiar?

If your child often has trouble organizing their schoolwork, remembering instructions, or managing their emotions around studying, the underlying reason might be difficulties with executive functions. These are crucial mental skills that quietly govern how your child plans, focuses, remembers, and self-regulates. And just like muscles, they can be strengthened—with patience, practice, and the right tools.

What Are Executive Functions, Really?

Executive functions are the brain’s management system. Think of them as an internal CEO—deciding what’s important, keeping tasks on track, and pushing through distractions. These skills include:

• Working memory: Holding and using information in the short term—for example, remembering multi-step instructions.
• Inhibitory control: Resisting the urge to react impulsively or get distracted.
• Cognitive flexibility: Switching focus, adapting to new information, and thinking creatively when things change.
• Planning and organization: Mapping out tasks, sequencing steps, and following through.

Most children build these skills gradually. But for some—especially those with learning differences, ADHD, or anxiety—executive functioning develops more slowly or unevenly. That’s not a failure. It’s a signal that your child needs more support, not more pressure.

A Different Way to Approach Learning at Home

When a child has underdeveloped executive functions, tackling homework is like running a race with shoelaces tied together. But traditional instruction often only deepens their frustration. That’s where your role as a parent becomes transformative.

Instead of trying to force focus, or discipline forgetfulness, try stepping back. Imagine what it’s like to live in a brain where information disappears mid-sentence, or where switching from playing to math feels like moving mountains. Empathy isn’t just kind—it’s effective.

One very practical tip? Make learning more concrete and connected to your child’s world. For example, turning a written science lesson into a fun, personalized audio adventure where your child becomes the hero—complete with their name and voice narration—can awaken their curiosity and engagement. Some apps, like Skuli (available on iOS and Android), offer this exact experience, helping children stay focused through storytelling while reinforcing key academic content.

And for children who struggle to read or concentrate while seated, transforming lessons into audio—something they can listen to while tidying their room or riding in the car—can bypass executive overload altogether. You can read more about this multisensory approach in this article.

Simple Daily Practices That Train Executive Functions

You don’t need fancy programs to support executive function development. In fact, much of the work happens in day-to-day life—during conversations, play, and little routines. Here are some powerful moments to harness:

• Morning planning: Invite your child to talk through their day with you. What will they do first? What supplies do they need for school? This builds sequencing and forward thinking.
• “What if?” conversations: Pose scenarios—“What if your friend forgets their lunch again?” These help kids practice flexible thinking and problem-solving.
• Organizing personal spaces: From backpacks to bedroom drawers, letting your child lead a simple clean-up encourages decision-making and spatial planning.
• Games that require memory or strategy: Board games like Memory, Uno, or even hide-and-seek support working memory and inhibition in fun, pressure-free ways.

This article explores more on how play fosters cognitive growth without any worksheets required.

Let Frustration Be a Signal, Not a Stop Sign

One of the most frustrating questions you might ask your child is: “Why didn’t you just start your homework?” And often, they can't tell you why. That doesn’t mean they’re lazy or disobedient. It means that the spark that gets us from intention to initiation—the executive function center—isn’t lighting up easily for them.

In these moments, try stepping into their shoes. Offer them a concrete first step: “Let’s just find your math book together.” And then: “Okay, can you read me the first question?” Often, motion creates motivation, but they need scaffolding to get there. Supporting a child’s motivation doesn’t mean pushing harder—it means helping smarter.

You Are Your Child’s Executive Support—For Now

Executive functions don’t mature fully until early adulthood. Until then, your guidance acts as an external executive assistant—helping your child organize, redirect, and persevere. It’s a lot to hold, especially when you’re exhausted too. But take heart: every shared moment of planning, every story-based review session, every reframing of frustration into curiosity—it all helps.

If you’d like to deepen your understanding of how these mental systems work under the surface, this article breaks down the brain’s mechanics in parent-friendly language.

There’s no quick fix. But with compassionate support and small, consistent shifts, your child can nurture the executive functions that will one day let them steer their own ship—brain storms and all.