How to Support the Motivation of a Child with Cognitive Struggles

When motivation feels like a missing piece

You’ve probably been there: your child sits down with their homework, sighs deeply, and stares blankly at the page. After a few minutes, frustration rises. Within half an hour, there are tears—or maybe slammed doors. You try everything: encouragement, rewards, breaks—but nothing seems to light the spark.

For children with cognitive challenges—whether it’s processing speed, working memory issues, attention difficulties, or simply a learning pace different from the one expected in the classroom—motivation is often the first casualty. When we ask these kids to “just try harder,” we unknowingly shine a spotlight on what already feels like failure to them. So let’s explore how to shift that dynamic.

Reframing motivation: It’s not about laziness

First, let’s gently let go of the idea that your child is unmotivated. Most kids want to do well. But when every effort is met with struggle, or when the goal feels impossibly out of reach, motivation naturally erodes. Think of motivation not as a trait your child has—or doesn’t—but as a flame we need to protect and fuel differently.

Studies have shown that for children aged 6 to 12, cognitive development can vary wildly—and not always in step with academic expectations. If you haven’t had a chance to yet, this article can help you understand how cognitive development works between ages 6 and 12, which helps put your child’s struggles into perspective.

Start from where they shine

One powerful way to rekindle motivation is to start from a place of success. Think back: When did your child last feel capable in their learning? Was it building something, telling a story, asking a thoughtful question?

For example, Maya, an 8-year-old with working memory difficulties, often forgot multi-step instructions and quickly lost confidence. Her dad started incorporating short storytelling sessions into homework time—where Maya turned her math problems into a narrative: the hero (herself) had to rescue a friend by solving puzzles. Suddenly, the work stopped feeling like a test and started feeling like an adventure.

Along those lines, some tools can transform lessons into personalized audio adventures, embedding your child’s name and interests to make learning feel like play. One such app allows you to upload a lesson and turn it into a story where your child becomes the main character—perfect for car rides, bedtime, or winding down after a stressful school day.

Create smaller wins—and celebrate them

For a child struggling cognitively, a 30-minute homework block can feel like climbing a mountain in flip-flops. Break tasks down to manageable, solvable pieces. “Let’s read just this paragraph and then talk about what it means” can feel a lot less overwhelming than “finish this worksheet.”

When kids start experiencing success—no matter how small—your job is to reflect it back to them. Say things like, “You figured that out even when it got tricky,” or “You stayed with it—I'm proud of how you kept trying.” This helps shift their internal narrative from “I can’t do this” to “Maybe I can figure it out in my own way.”

Leverage the way your child learns

Every child has a learning style. Some are visual—charts, diagrams, or written notes help them remember. Others are auditory—they understand far better when they hear something spoken aloud. Kids with attention challenges often benefit from movement, music, or interaction built into learning.

One insightful mom of a 10-year-old with ADHD explained how her daughter retained nothing from reading her textbook but could recall entire lessons when she listened to them as audio while bouncing on the trampoline. Learning doesn’t always look like sitting still with a pencil—and it shouldn’t have to.

If your child struggles with attention or memory, don’t hesitate to adapt materials. Apps like Skuli make this easier by allowing you to snap a photo of a lesson and instantly transform it into an audio format, so your child can listen during breakfast or even on walks. For children who engage better with quizzes, the app can also turn that lesson into a 20-question quiz tailored to their needs—repetition that doesn’t feel like punishment.

You might want to read more about why some children seem to zone out during homework, in our piece on selective attention in kids.

Make school about learning—not performance

If your child feels that their worth is measured by grades, it’s hard to hold onto motivation when the marks don’t match the effort. One way to shift this is to talk about learning as something that grows and evolves, not something they either “get” or don’t.

Celebrate trying, not finishing. Share your own moments of struggle and how you worked through them. Let them know that it’s okay to ask for help—and that being stuck doesn’t mean they’re failing.

And if the pressure persists, remember that you’re not alone. Many parents wonder, “My child is so bright—why are they falling behind?” Our article on bright children falling behind might give you the reassurance you're seeking.

You’re making more of a difference than you think

When you show up with empathy and patience, even after a long workday—even when you’re tired or worried or unsure—you are planting seeds of resilience in your child. The small changes you make, the quiet encouragements you offer, the steps you take to adapt learning just a little closer to their unique way of thinking … they matter.

Understanding the working of your child's brain can make it easier to support them with confidence. Check out our deep dive into how a school-aged child's brain works for more insights.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution—but there is something powerful in simply believing that your child is capable, in their own time and in their own way.