Positive Parenting at School: How to Support Your Child’s Learning Journey

When Homework Becomes a Battle

Sarah, a mother of a curious and sensitive 8-year-old named Luca, told me recently, "I want to help him with school, I really do. But every evening turns into a struggle. I see he's overwhelmed, and I end up losing patience. I hate that."

This story isn't unique. Many families face the same mounting tension around education: a well-meaning parent trying to support a child who’s anxious, discouraged, or just not wired for traditional learning. Positive parenting gives us a framework to navigate this—without punishments, guilt, or bribery, and with much more connection and long-term growth.

Rethinking What It Means to “Help”

Sometimes, in our eagerness to help, we step into the role of enforcer rather than partner. We hover, correct, pressure, and unknowingly send the message, “You’re not capable without me.” In positive parenting, the goal is not to control outcomes, but to create an emotional environment that helps kids feel safe to engage, make mistakes, and grow.

This shift is powerful: instead of asking, "How do I make my child do their homework?" we start asking, "How can I support their curiosity and confidence in their learning process?"

Building this supportive bond starts with communication that honors your child’s emotions and autonomy. Rather than correcting right away, we pause. We observe. We ask: “What part is hard for you right now?” Or: “What would help this feel a little more doable?”

Connection First, Then Cooperation

When a child is resisting schoolwork, it’s rarely about laziness. Often, it's about shame, fear of failing, or feeling disconnected. Before jumping into solutions, spend a few minutes on connection without an agenda. Cuddle, play a quick game, or just sit beside them in silence.

The shift can be dramatic. One mom shared how taking five minutes to listen—really listen—changed everything: her daughter had been dreading math because the fast-paced group work made her feel stupid. Hearing that without judgment helped the mother stop pushing and start advocating.

Finding connection points even during learning times can make a big difference, especially if your child learns better through listening or storytelling. For example, transforming a dry lesson into a personalized audio adventure—where your child becomes the main hero—can not only make the material stick better, but also make schoolwork feel like play. (The Skuli app lets you do exactly that, by turning lessons into imaginative audio journeys using your child’s name.)

Shifting from Frustration to Collaboration

In practice, positive parenting during school time might look like:

• Letting your child decide if they want to tackle reading or math first
• Breaking tasks into tiny steps if they seem overwhelmed
• Using a timer for short sprints of focus followed by breaks (the Pomodoro method works beautifully with kids!)
• Offering empathy first when they say, “I hate this” instead of brushing it off

It also means resisting the urge to lecture. If you come home to an incomplete assignment, pause and breathe. Instead of, “Why didn’t you finish this?” try, “Wow, looks like today didn’t go as planned. Want to tell me what happened?” Responses like these build trust over time.

And if you’re wondering how to stay calm yourself in the face of defiance or shutdowns, we recommend reading this article on how to respond with empathy when your child doesn’t listen.

Building Independence, Gently

You don’t want to helicopter them forever. That’s exhausting—and it discourages ownership. But tossing them into full responsibility too soon can end in tears and shutdowns. The middle road? Gentle scaffolding.

With her son Luca, Sarah started asking him to photograph his worksheet each day and pick two questions they’d discuss together. It became a routine—not a power struggle. Eventually, he began asking, “Can I try this one on my own first?” That’s what we want. Not perfect work. Ownership.

Tools can also empower independence: for example, if your child forgets what was discussed in class, taking a photo of the board and turning it into a review quiz (a feature available in educational apps like Skuli) gives them a way to study more effectively—without relying on you to always re-explain it.

A Little Patience, a Lot of Love

Positive parenting at school doesn’t mean ignoring structure or being overly permissive. It means balancing limits with empathy, and encouraging progress, not perfection. It means noticing and naming your child’s efforts—“You kept going, even when it was tough. That shows determination.”

And yes, it means making peace with the fact that some days will go better than others. On the really rough days, lean on resources that keep your parenting grounded in relationship, like this guide to the foundations of positive parenting or this article on gentle alternatives to punishment.

Ultimately, the most powerful way to guide your child through school is to be the safe space they return to—even after a failed test, a forgotten assignment, or a meltdown over fractions. That’s what they'll carry with them far beyond the classroom.