My Child Loves Learning But Hates School: What Can I Do?

When Curiosity Meets Resistance

You've watched your child ask bold questions about dinosaurs, space, or the human body—eyes wide with excitement. They spend hours building elaborate Minecraft worlds or narrating imaginative stories. But when it's time to get ready for school in the morning? Tears. Complaints. Headaches. Maybe even a stomachache that seems to magically vanish over the weekend.

If your child loves to learn but hates school, you're not alone—and you're not doing anything wrong. In fact, it suggests that your child’s natural drive to explore, understand, and grow is still very much intact. And that’s something to celebrate.

Understanding the Disconnect

It’s easy to conflate schooling with learning. They often go hand-in-hand, but they're not the same. School provides structure, a curriculum, social interactions, and evaluation systems. Learning, however, is a deeper, more personal process. A child might be deeply engaged with learning at home or in informal settings but struggle with how learning is presented—or demanded—at school.

Some children feel bored because the pace is too slow or impersonal. Others feel overwhelmed by sensory overload, rigid expectations, or the stress of performance. Understanding that school isn't the only—or even best—environment for some types of learning can open the door to fresh solutions.

Start Where They Shine

One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is to reflect back to your child their strengths in learning. Instead of trying to "fix" their dislike of school, start by nurturing the spark they already have. Ask open-ended questions to guide your child and build their self-awareness:

• “What part of today's homework was most interesting to you?”
• “If you could learn anything for a day, what would you choose?”
• “What makes you feel proud when you're working on something?”

Use their answers as entry points. A child who loves storytelling could turn their history lesson into a short script. A child who enjoys puzzles might prefer turning math review into a game. Fortunately, there are new tools that can support this kind of personalized engagement. For example, some apps now let you turn school material into tailor-made audio adventures where your child becomes the central hero of the story—complete with their name and choices. This can dramatically shift how they relate to subjects they once dreaded.

Redefine Success Together

Many school-averse children are highly sensitive to expectations—both internal and external. They may fear not doing things "right" or struggle with being compared to others. The traditional school model doesn't always reflect how they define success or joy.

As a parent, you can gently help your child redefine what success means in everyday terms:

• Completing a challenging task even if it wasn’t perfect
• Asking a question instead of staying silent
• Taking a short break when overwhelmed and returning to the task

These shifts take time and patience, but offering consistent language around recovery, resilience, and curiosity sends a powerful message: there are many ways to learn—and many ways to be successful.

Make School Feel Less Like School

If your child is struggling with the way school presents information—lots of reading, sitting still, and memorization—it can be helpful to make learning feel more like play. For instance, if your child has a visual style of learning, you might turn photos of their lessons into personalized quizzes they can take themselves on a tablet. This makes review interactive, stress-free, and even fun.

Some families also notice a big difference when they turn written lessons into audio. Listening during the car ride home or while building blocks after dinner removes the pressure of sitting down to study. One mom told me how her 9-year-old son, who always refused to reread texts, now absorbs vocabulary words while helping set the table—because they come in the form of a short story personalized just for him. She discovered this little breakthrough using the Skuli app, which quietly transforms any lesson into a story where her son is the hero.

These aren’t shortcuts—they're bridges. Bridges that turn school into something more engaging, less rigid, and more attuned to your child’s natural ways of learning. You can explore more ideas in our article on how technology can support joyful learning.

Respect the Emotion Behind the Resistance

Finally, it’s essential to acknowledge what our children feel, even if we don’t fully understand it. When a child says “I hate school,” they might be expressing sadness, anxiety, boredom, or a feeling of being unseen.

Resist the urge to argue or convince. Instead, stay close. Listen deeply. If your child opens up, reflect their feelings with empathy and without minimizing them: “It sounds like school feels really hard and frustrating right now.” Naming feelings helps them feel valid and understood, which is often the first step toward healing. You'll find more about these conversations in our guide on how to talk about school avoidance without pushing too hard.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

It’s hard—so hard—to see your child in pain or resistance. You want to fix it. You want to restore their joy. And yet, just by noticing their inner learner, you’re already doing something powerful. You’re protecting their flame of curiosity from being extinguished by a system that might not always fit.

When you're tired, remember: your love, your presence, and your willingness to experiment with new approaches are the most important parts of the equation. And if you're looking for more ideas on how to gently help your child reconnect with the joys of school itself, don't miss our article on helping kids fall back in love with school.