Can a Child Love Learning Without Loving School?

When School Feels Like a Chore

You watch your child walk into school with shoulders hunched. At pick-up, they look drained—not from physical activity, but from emotional weight. Maybe they complain about boring lessons, mean classmates, or confusing instructions. And yet, at home, they eagerly ask questions about dinosaurs, outer space, or how video games are coded. You're left wondering: Is it possible for a child to love learning and still hate school?

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many parents of children between six and twelve face this contradiction. School, in its structured format, doesn’t always align with the joy and curiosity that naturally drive young learners. And that mismatch can lead to mismatched expectations, growing frustration, and a lot of homework battles at the kitchen table.

The Spark Is There—Just Not Where We Expect It

Let’s set the record straight: being disengaged at school doesn't necessarily mean your child is lazy or disinterested in learning. It may simply mean the way school presents learning—sitting still, staying quiet, completing worksheets—doesn't register as exciting or even meaningful to your child.

Take Noah, age 9. He dreaded math class to the point of faking stomachaches—something we explored in this article. But on weekends, he loved measuring ingredients for baking. He was doing fractions—just not with a pencil and lined paper. His spark for learning was alive and well, just hidden behind the walls of traditional instruction.

Why Kids Can Struggle With the Format—Not the Content

Most schools are still designed for auditory and visual learners who can concentrate for long hours at a desk. But what about dreamers? What about the kids whose brains light up when they move, act, build, or listen?

Maybe your child gets flustered reading paragraphs of notes but retells movie plots in perfect sequence. Or maybe they can’t sit through a worksheet but will spend hours building LEGO machines. School demands certain types of focus and skills—not all of which come naturally to every child. Yet learning, in their own way, might come effortlessly.

This dissonance can lead to anxiety, resistance, and even school refusal. If that’s your current reality, you may want to read our guide on understanding school refusal.

Reframing What Learning Looks Like

As parents, one of the most powerful things we can do is expand our definition of learning. It's not only found in textbooks or test scores. It happens in:

• Creatively telling stories during bath time
• Asking "why" over dinner and diving into a rabbit hole of discovery
• Singing songs that teach new words and concepts
• Making mistakes and trying again

This reframing helps your child reconnect with the delight of learning without the pressure of school-like performance. It also helps you, as a parent, appreciate the different ways your child processes and retains information—especially outside the classroom.

Creating Meaningful Bridges at Home

So how can we help our children find the joy of learning within the materials they bring home from school? Start by tapping into their natural strengths.

For example, if your child struggles to focus while reading, try turning their lesson into audio they can listen to during a car ride. Immersive formats can make an enormous difference for auditory learners. Even better, imagine your child adventuring through their history lesson as a starring hero in an audio story—using their own first name. Tools like the Skuli App offer this kind of personalization, making the school material feel not only accessible but also deeply engaging and fun.

When the schoolwork is reframed as an adventure—or even a game—the barriers begin to soften. Children start to reclaim their curiosity, and parents can breathe a little easier knowing their child is still learning, just through a different lens.

What You Can Do Right Now

While it may not be possible to overhaul your child’s entire school experience, there is so much you can do to protect and nurture their love of learning. Here are a few starting points:

• Observe what lights them up. What topics or activities make them lose track of time? Those are clues to their learning style and passions.
• Respect their resistance. If your child hates school, it doesn’t mean they’re being difficult. It means something in the environment or system isn't clicking. This article on helping kids reconnect with school offers more on this.
• Get playful. Injecting humor and imagination into mundane tasks can change everything. You can read more about playful learning approaches here.
• Engage the school if needed. If school is becoming a source of distress, communicate with your child’s teacher or counselor. You’re not alone in this—many parents reach out for support when their child’s well-being is on the line, as we’ve detailed in this article on school unhappiness.

Final Thoughts: Learning Is Bigger Than School

The most important thing to remember is this: loving to learn does not require loving school. And forcing one to equal the other can actually dim the light in your child’s eyes. What they need most is compassion, room to explore, and flexible tools that meet them where they are.

As a parent, your role is not to replicate the school day at home—but to listen, adjust, and invite learning in through the back door. The passion is still there. Sometimes, we just have to look in unexpected places to find it.