My Child Is Gifted but Struggling in School: How Can I Help?

When Giftedness Feels Like a Burden

You always knew your child was bright—observant, curious, full of questions most adults don't stop to ask. But somewhere between multiplication tables and book reports, something shifted. Now you're seeing tears at the table, blank stares at homework, and a report card that doesn’t reflect the child you know. If your child has been identified as HPI (high intellectual potential) but is experiencing school failure, you’re not alone. And more importantly: it’s not your fault, and it’s not theirs either.

Understanding the Hidden Struggles of HPI Children

Gifted children are often misunderstood. While their high potential might lead adults to expect smooth academic success, many HPI kids struggle with emotional regulation, perfectionism, asynchronous development (being far ahead in some areas and behind in others), or even undetected learning differences like dyslexia or ADHD.

Claire, mother of 9-year-old Armand, shared this with us: “He could explain black holes better than I could by age seven. But when it came to copying notes from the board, he froze. His teachers thought he was lazy or defiant.” Armand was later diagnosed with HPI and dysgraphia—a hidden learning difficulty that impacted his writing speed and clarity.

If your child is gifted but failing at school, it may not be because the work is too hard—it may be because it’s not meaningful, too repetitive, or inaccessible due to emotional or neurodiverse challenges.

Rethinking the Role of School

Many schools are not equipped to support children who are both gifted and struggling. Even after an official HPI identification, educators may lack specific training or resources to adapt their methods. In fact, some schools even fail to implement approved personalized education plans. It’s an uphill climb—but parents can play a powerful role in building alternative support pathways.

Leading with Empathy, Not Pressure

First and foremost, your child needs consistency in one thing: your unwavering belief in them. That doesn’t mean lowering expectations but shifting the focus from outcome to process. Instead of asking how many pages they read, ask what they found interesting or confusing. Replace “Did you finish your homework?” with “Was there anything tricky or boring today?”

Gifted children often internalize failure more deeply, interpreting struggles as signs that they’re not as smart as people think. By showing that struggles are normal—even for brilliant minds—you help them separate identity from academic performance.

Adapting How, Not Just What, They Learn

Many HPI children thrive when given autonomy and play in how they engage with learning. That might mean creating stories from math problems, turning lessons into drawings, or learning while moving. You know your child best—follow their patterns of joy and focus.

Technology can also be a powerful ally. If your child finds written material tiring or tedious, consider converting lessons into audio formats they can listen to during walks or car rides. Some solutions, like the Skuli App, even allow you to upload a photo of a lesson and turn it into an audio adventure where your child is the hero—a fun way to reinforce concepts without pressure or boredom.

Finding the Right People on Your Team

Don’t wait for the school to take the first step. Even if they’ve been slow or dismissive in the past, you have options. Consider a private psychoeducational assessment if one hasn’t been done—or revisit an older diagnosis that might need an update. These evaluations open doors not only to understanding but also to accommodation rights.

If your child isn't receiving any support at school, here’s who you should talk to first to push for accommodations. If your requests are ignored, this article outlines next steps for insisting on your child’s rights with diplomacy and determination.

Some families also find success outside the traditional classroom. Whether it’s a tutor who understands gifted learners or a mentorship in a subject your child loves, exposure to affirming adult relationships can restore motivation and self-esteem. Alternative learning paths can be lifelines—don’t be afraid to explore them.

Reconnecting Joy and Learning

Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to help your child pass math. It’s to help them reconnect learning with delight, curiosity, and self-trust. School may never fit perfectly—and that’s okay. What matters more is that your child feels seen, heard, and supported as the multifaceted, imaginative, and capable person they are.

Take this journey one step at a time. Celebrate their resilience. Advocate with heart. And surround yourself with others who understand—because parenting a brilliant, struggling learner shouldn’t be something you have to do alone.