My Child Isn't Receiving Any School Accommodations: Who Should I Talk To?

When school doesn't see your child the way you do

You’re not imagining things. You’ve spoken to the teacher, emailed the school, even asked the pediatrician—but weeks go by, and nothing changes. Your child still comes home drained, demoralized, and overwhelmed by what seems like a mountain of schoolwork. Despite their obvious effort and the signs that they're struggling, no accommodations are being offered.

It’s deeply painful to watch your child suffer in an environment meant to support them. Especially when they’re being asked to learn in a way that simply doesn't fit their needs. So where do you turn when school seems unwilling—or unsure—how to help?

Start with understanding what accommodations truly mean

“Accommodations” aren’t about giving your child an unfair advantage; they’re about leveling the playing field. They can mean extended time during exams, help with reading instructions, or being allowed to dictate answers instead of writing them. For kids with learning differences, even small adjustments can make learning feel more humane.

But it’s not uncommon for accommodations to be withheld—whether due to bureaucracy, misunderstanding, or a lack of resources. Many parents only discover much later that their child was entitled to help they never received.

If you're in that place now, you are not alone. And there are steps you can take.

Document everything—then advocate

Your instinct is to speak up, and that’s absolutely the right move. But before launching into another email chain, pause and begin gathering tangible evidence of your child’s struggles. This might include:

• Homework samples showing patterns of confusion or incomplete work
• Teacher comments on report cards or emails referencing difficulties
• Notes from your own observations or after-school meltdowns
• Any outside assessments (psychologist, speech therapist, etc.)

Armed with this, request a formal meeting with your child’s teacher and the school’s support team. In some schools, this may be called a Student Support Team or Intervention Meeting. Make clear what you’re noticing at home and ask specific questions: Can my child be screened for learning differences? What interventions are currently in place? What accommodations would be appropriate?

For children who show signs of dyslexia, ADHD, or other learning differences, schools have legal obligations to evaluate and provide support. You can read more about that here, especially when resources are lacking.

When school isn’t enough—look beyond

Sometimes, unfortunately, school teams are slow to act or uncomfortable making changes. If you sense that's happening, you may need to bring in external experts. A private neuropsychological evaluation, while often costly, can carry significant weight in pressing a school's hand to act. If you can access local educational coaches, therapists, or specialized centers, they can offer both insight and practical tools.

There are also growing networks of alternative and complementary support systems that don't rely solely on the school infrastructure. Read more about those options here.

Some parents discover that the issue doesn’t lie in bad intentions, but rather in rigid systems that weren’t designed for kids who think, feel, or learn differently.

Inclusive education starts with listening

Your child may not say much about their school experience—but they feel everything. Some children feel invisible in class. Others act out because they can’t keep up. And others become perfectionists, trying to mask how hard it really is. Every one of those kids deserves to learn in a way that honors who they are.

If you haven't yet, initiate this conversation gently with your child: "What’s the hardest part of your day at school? How does that feel? What would help?" Their answers may surprise you—or confirm what you already suspected.

And if your child has already begun to lose faith in their ability, it’s time to rebuild that confidence intentionally. You’ll find guidance on doing just that in this reflection.

When education feels rigid—make learning more flexible at home

While pushing for change inside the school, don’t underestimate what’s possible outside of it. Home can become a place where your child reconnects with the joy of learning, slowly and in small, meaningful ways.

If your child struggles with focus or reading stamina, try turning their lessons—not just stories—into audio that they can listen to during car rides or quiet moments in their room. With tools like the Skuli App, it’s possible to transform written homework or lessons into an engaging audio adventure, where your child becomes the hero of the story—complete with their first name woven into the narrative. For a child who’s beginning to shut down, this can feel like an unexpected lifeline.

And most importantly, it communicates that their brain—even if it works differently—is not broken. It’s just waiting to be understood.

Keep knocking until someone opens the door

You may have to knock more than once—on different doors, with different professionals, and through trial, error, and persistence. But you don’t have to do it alone.

If your child is being continuously sidelined or overlooked, read this piece on advocating when educators miss the mark. And for families navigating disability and access, this guide on inclusion at school can help you assess and assert your child's rights.

Your child deserves to be seen. And the struggle you’re facing right now—it’s not a failure on your part. It’s a signal that the system isn’t catching everyone it’s meant to serve. Keep going. There are paths forward, and you are not alone on them.