My Child Hates Doing Homework—What Can I Do?

Understanding What’s Really Going On

When your child drags their feet around homework time — sighing, bargaining, or outright refusing — it’s easy to feel frustrated, helpless, or even guilty. You're trying to support them, after all. But behind the resistance often lies something deeper than laziness: confusion, fear of failure, overwhelm, or low motivation.

I remember one mom, Amélie, who sat across from me at a workshop, tears in her eyes. Her 9-year-old daughter, Zoé, would burst into tears at the mention of math homework. Amélie had tried rewards, punishments, sitting beside her, backing off — nothing seemed to work. What finally helped wasn't a single trick but a shift in perspective: Zoé wasn’t disobedient—she was discouraged.

Creating an Emotionally Safe Space

Sometimes, home feels like an extension of school. Kids come back from a long day, only to face more tasks under close supervision. One of the first steps is to reclaim homework time as something emotionally safer. That means setting aside roles: you are not the teacher. You're the guide. The safe place. The encourager.

Consider your body language and tone. Are you unintentionally transferring your stress or anxiety about school on to them? Creating a calm, unpressured atmosphere can shift the dynamic. If they’ve struggled during the day, they need home to feel like a breath of fresh air.

You might find helpful ideas in our reflection on why encouragement works better than rewards. It explains how small words of support can do more than gold stars ever could.

Working With, Not Against, Resistance

Let’s say your 8-year-old groans at the very mention of reading homework. Instead of launching into a pep talk or insistence, pause and get curious. You might say, “I notice reading is feeling hard today. What’s up?” Maybe they don’t understand the content. Maybe they're just tired. Or maybe they feel like they’re bad at it—and doing it makes them feel worse.

When we validate their emotional experience (“Sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because it’s tricky”), we open a door. Resistance can then become a form of communication, rather than defiance to shut down.

Rethinking the Homework Setup

Distraction, boredom, or fatigue can make even a willing child push back. Sometimes, it’s about the environment. Ask yourself:

• Is your child’s homework area consistent, quiet, and customized to their needs?
• Do they know when to start and when they’ll be done?
• Can you build in small energizing breaks between tasks?

Establishing a clear routine can bring structure to their days and reduce power struggles. If that feels challenging, our guide on setting up a productive homework rhythm might offer some structure to borrow from.

Making Learning Feel Relevant and Fun Again

For many children, homework feels detached from their world. They don’t understand the “why.” That’s when bringing their interests in can reignite curiosity. If your child loves animals, help them write a story problem about jungle animals for math. If your child dreams about space, use that as the theme for a creative writing assignment.

Tools that personalize learning can be powerful allies here. For example, some parents have found creative apps that transform lessons into audio adventures where the child is the main character — their name included in the storyline. Imagine your child hearing themselves as the hero exploring Ancient Egypt while learning history. One such tool, the Skuli App, allows you to snap a photo of your child’s lesson and turn it into a personalized quiz or audio story they actually want to engage with—like magic combined with methodology.

And if your child is more of a listener than a reader, turning lessons into audio (perfect for car rides or walks) can reshape their experience of homework from a chore into a podcast-like adventure.

Letting Your Child Own Part of the Process

Children are more cooperative when they feel they have agency. Instead of always deciding when and where homework happens, offer some choices that still work for your family. “Would you like to do your reading now before snack, or later after your bike ride?”

Letting them organize their materials, use a timer for short work sessions, or even decorate their workspace can give them ownership that increases buy-in. Our article on helping your child self-manage homework offers more ways to gently pass the reins.

The Power of Consistent Encouragement

Never underestimate a parent’s belief in their child. You may not see instant results. But when a child hears, consistently, “I see how hard you tried,” or “You didn’t give up, even when it was tough,” their inner voice begins to change. They internalize that effort matters more than perfection.

If you’re looking for simple ways to encourage more often, check out our piece on the impact of small, daily affirmations. Sometimes, one sentence can make the difference between a meltdown and a breakthrough.

You’re Not Alone

Every parent who has navigated the battle of homework knows how draining it can be. But your care — the very fact that you're reading this — is powerful. Don’t be afraid to try new approaches. Be patient with setbacks. Most of all, remember that the goal is not perfect compliance, but building a healthier, more resilient relationship with learning—both theirs, and yours together.