My Child Doesn't Like School: How to Respond Without Panic

Understanding What's Behind "I Hate School"

Standing in the kitchen after a long day, you hear those dreaded words from your child again: "I don’t want to go to school." It can feel like a gut punch. Your mind races to worst-case scenarios. Are they being bullied? Falling behind? Losing confidence? You're not just worried about academics—it's their well-being, their future, their happiness.

But before you let fear take over, take a deep breath. You're not alone, and this feeling isn’t a dead end. Many children between the ages of 6 and 12 go through a phase where school becomes a source of frustration or anxiety. The key is learning how to uncover what's really going on—then gently, collaboratively, helping them reframe their experience.

It Starts With Listening—Not Fixing

When your child says they don’t like school, it’s tempting to jump in with solutions: “But you have great friends!” or “School is important!” While well-intentioned, quick reassurances can inadvertently shut the conversation down. Instead, take a curious and calm approach.

Try asking open-ended questions:

• “That sounds tough. Can you tell me what part you didn’t like today?”
• “Is it something that happened, or more how you felt during the day?”
• “Was there a moment that made you feel sad or bored?”

Let them talk. Avoid correcting or minimizing their feelings. Sometimes, in simply being heard, a hardened ‘I hate school’ can soften into a specific frustration: a difficult subject, a confusing lesson, a strained peer relationship. In this related post, we explore more ways to decode these signals through empathetic conversation.

When Learning Feels Like a Foreign Language

Often, what sounds like hating school is, at its core, a struggle with how learning is happening. Think about it: if your child learns best through movement, but spends all day sitting still, frustration builds. If they easily daydream in class but have trouble keeping up with written notes, they may fall behind despite trying their best.

One parent I spoke with recently shared how her son, Sam, dreaded math every day. When we looked deeper, we realized his ability to retain written explanations was limited—but if she explained concepts verbally in the car, he lit up. By using tools that deliver lessons in formats kids relate to—like turning a written page into audio they can play on the go—we shift their experience of learning. One simple tool we explored was the Skuli app, which allows parents to transform a school lesson into a personalized audio adventure where the child is the hero—using their own name. For a child like Sam, who wanted learning to feel fun and interactive, it was a game-changer, allowing him to smile at the very math he used to dread.

We explore how these creative formats work (and why) in this deeper look at audio adventures for learning.

Reframing School Around Shared Curiosity

Once your child has felt heard, and you've identified if learning style or environment plays a role, the next step is to regain a sense of shared curiosity. School, for many kids, feels imposed. But what if it felt like something you explored together?

Instead of the nightly “Did you do your homework?” script, consider how learning can become a shared experience. Maybe you solve a riddle together related to the topic of the week, or play a quick memory game at the dinner table using fun quiz questions about their last science lesson (which, yes, can be as simple as snapping a photo of the worksheet and turning it into a quiz using the right app).

We dive into more family-friendly learning traditions in this reflection on turning learning into a family game.

Building a Bridge—Not a Wall—Between Home and School

Your child’s teacher holds a pivotal piece of the puzzle. If something feels off, reach out—not with accusations or panic, but with a spirit of partnership. Ask how your child seems at school. Do they appear withdrawn, restless, or unmotivated? Do they raise their hand? Smile with peers?

Sometimes, even teachers don’t notice subtle signs, and you’re in the best position to advocate for small adjustments: a different seat, a check-in at the start of class, or coordinated support at home. In this guide to school-home partnerships, we share how these conversations can be surprisingly powerful when framed with empathy and facts.

Remember, you’re not trying to “fix” your child—you’re trying to build the safest bridge possible between their inner world and the outside one they grow into slowly, one day at a time.

It’s Not About Loving School—It’s About Feeling Capable

Your child doesn’t need to love school every day. What they need is to feel like what happens there is navigable—that they’re not lost at sea without an oar. That takes time, patience, and sometimes a little creativity to find the learning approach or rhythm that works for them.

You’re already doing something powerful by being here, reading, reflecting, and staying with the discomfort instead of pushing it away. And if you’re wondering how often you should review lessons, or what that should even look like, know that there is no perfect formula—just a rhythm that feels sustainable for you both.

On the tough days, remind yourself: you're not raising a student. You're raising a human who learns, explores, fails, laughs, and sometimes says, “I hate school,” because it’s the best way they can say “I'm having a hard time.”

Be the steady voice that tells them: “It's okay not to love it. We're figuring it out—together.”