What to Do When Your Child Says They Hate School
Behind the Words: What Does "I Hate School" Really Mean?
When your child comes home, throws their backpack down, and says, “I hate school,” it hits like a punch to the gut. As a parent, your first instinct might be to fix it—try to reason, find what’s wrong, maybe even feel a wave of guilt. But before we leap to solutions, let’s pause and really listen. Often, "I hate school" isn't about hating school as a concept. It can be a code for frustration, embarrassment, exhaustion, or feeling lost in a system that doesn’t seem to fit their unique needs.
Take Léa, for example. She’s nine, bright, and once loved books. But last fall, her parents noticed she was dreading the mornings and often claimed to feel sick. After some gentle conversations, what surfaced wasn’t hatred of reading but anxiety: she was struggling to keep pace with the rest of the class. The required reading felt overwhelming, and that gap in understanding turned into shame—and shame, for many children, gets expressed as “hating school.”
Start with Compassion, Not Correction
When a child drops this kind of emotional bomb, resist the temptation to dismiss or rationalize it right away. Instead, acknowledge their feelings without judgment. Try something like, “It sounds like today was really hard. Want to tell me more about what happened?” The goal is to create a space that feels safe enough for the truth to come out. Remember: emotions come first; problem-solving can come later.
Sometimes, just putting words to feelings reduces their weight. You don’t need to have all the answers right away—you just need to show up emotionally. And if your child can see that you're truly present, they might start sharing the pieces they’ve been keeping inside. That’s the first and most powerful step.
Look Beneath the Surface
Once you uncover what “I hate school” really means, you might find yourself facing challenges that feel bigger than you expected: attention difficulties, undiagnosed learning disorders, social issues, or simply a misalignment between teaching style and learning style. This is when you begin mapping a way forward—not to force your child to love school, but to help them feel capable and seen within it.
It’s worth understanding your child’s preferred learning mode. Are they struggling because they’re highly auditory but get overwhelmed by visual-heavy textbooks? Or maybe they learn best when moving around, talking things through, or playing. Shifting how information is presented can make a tremendous difference. In fact, some parents find that using tools which turn textbook content into audio can be a game-changer—especially when you let your child replay their lessons on car rides, during quiet time, or even as part of a bedtime routine. One parent I spoke with shared how surprised they were when their son began asking for his science review not as flashcards, but as an audio story where he was the scientist. (That feature came from the Skuli app, which lets kids become heroes of their own learning journey—literally.)
Reimagine Home as a Learning Partner
School isn’t the only place learning can happen—or even where it must happen. Sometimes the stress of the school environment creates a toxic association that spirals into negativity. But when learning slips into daily life at home—without pressure—it can rebuild your child’s confidence and remind them that learning is a normal, joyful part of being human.
We wrote an entire article about how learning can become a shared family game. Try cooking together and sneak measurement ratios into the baking process. Or let your child choose a podcast on a topic they love and talk about it over dinner. These small, low-stakes moments of learning show kids that knowledge isn’t confined to stressful classroom contexts. Home becomes an ally, not another battlefield.
When home and school connect in supportive ways, your child begins to see learning not as a chore, but as something everyone does—including parents. This kind of shift has a big impact, especially when you’re working on strengthening home-school collaboration.
Support Daily Learning Without Adding More Stress
Does your child lock down when it’s time to review schoolwork in the evening? You’re not alone. Many families ask whether it’s even useful to review lessons at all. The answer, as we explored here, depends on how and when you do it. Repetition helps retention—but forced, tired, or conflict-laden review does more harm than good.
One approach that tends to work—as long as it’s gentle—is turning school materials into gamified review. Some tools let you snap a photo of a worksheet and instantly generate quizzes personalized to your child’s level and lesson content. This can transform a dry worksheet into a playful 10-minute challenge. The key? It feels different from "more school.” It becomes a game, not a grind.
Don’t Panic—but Don’t Wait Either
Hearing that your child hates school can spark panic. But don’t let fear paralyze you. Remember: your child hasn’t given up. If they’re expressing distress, it means they still care—but they haven’t yet found their footing. That means you still have a powerful chance to guide and support them. The goal isn’t to convince them that school is perfect. The goal is to help them feel empowered within it.
And if, after some support at home, things don’t improve, it’s perfectly okay to bring in professionals—counselors, teachers, specialists. Sometimes the most loving move is to acknowledge that you can’t do it all alone. Even the most devoted parent needs a village.
Above all, know this: feeling lost or frustrated by school is not a life sentence. With time, understanding, and tools designed for the individuality of your child, that same child who once said “I hate school” may one day catch you off-guard with a quiet, casual “Today was actually pretty good.” And that moment? That’s the beginning of everything.