Is It Normal That My Child Struggles to Memorize Things?

Why memorization can feel so hard—for both kids and parents

You sit at the kitchen table, your child’s spelling list or history facts open between you, and you watch as their brow furrows. Again. The words don’t stick. The dates vanish the moment after you explain them. You find yourself repeating, rephrasing, even getting frustrated—quietly, guiltily. And maybe, after the third failed try, you wonder in the back of your mind: is this normal?

First, take a deep breath. Yes, it’s incredibly common for children between 6 and 12 to struggle with memorization. Their brains are still learning how to learn. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your child. It means they need more time—and different tools.

The myth of natural memorization

We often assume that kids should just be able to learn “by heart.” But memorization is not a natural skill; it’s a trained one. Some children seem to pick it up more easily, but many—especially those who are more visual, movement-oriented, or emotionally sensitive—don’t process information well through repetition alone.

Think of it this way: would you find it easier to memorize a grocery list someone read to you once, or to remember the path you walked to get to your favorite café? The brain retains what is connected—emotionally, physically, contextually. If a lesson feels flat or meaningless to your child, it likely won’t sink in, no matter how many times it’s repeated.

Different brains, different paths

Let’s take Mia, age nine. Her mom noticed that Mia could recite entire scenes from a Disney movie, complete with quirky voices and intonation—but couldn’t remember five vocabulary words from her French quiz. What was happening? Simply put, the movie captured her emotionally and narratively. The vocabulary did not.

When we work with—not against—our child’s natural learning tendencies, everything shifts. Some children retain concepts better when they hear them, while others need to move, draw, act, or teach it back. Memorization, then, becomes a side effect of deep connection—not a goal in itself.

Turning lifeless information into meaningful connection

If your child struggles with rote memorization, consider taking a different approach:

• Storytelling, not reciting: Can the lesson be turned into a story? Even scientific facts or grammar rules can have a “plot” when told creatively.
• Emotion as glue: Ask your child how something makes them feel. “We’re learning about volcanoes—what would it feel like to be standing near one?” Emotional engagement creates memory traces.
• Multiple senses: Can they listen to the material during a car ride? Can they move while learning, or draw it out? The more senses involved, the better the recall.

Some apps even allow kids to turn a written lesson into a personalized audio adventure—where they are the main character navigating a math jungle or decoding the secret messages of ancient Egypt, using their own name. Sound familiar? These playful tools, like what Skuli offers, are not just gimmicks—they harness curiosity and engagement to build memory naturally.

When repetition leads to shutdown

Here’s what I’ve seen in many families: parents push harder when memorization doesn’t come easily. More review, more drills, more frustration. But this approach can backfire, especially if the emotional tone becomes negative. Stress and shame are memory blockers.

Instead, focus on review that feels light and enjoyable. Try reviewing during a walk, turning lessons into games, or even snapping a quick photo of their notes and transforming it into a 20-question quiz they can do on their own time. Giving your child a sense of autonomy over the learning process builds motivation and self-trust.

From fact-lists to mastery

Maybe the better question isn’t “Why can’t my child memorize this?” but “How can I help my child make this meaningful?” When we shift from repetition to connection, we reduce friction and open the door to true understanding.

Helping your child organize their thoughts before reviewing can also make memorization feel more manageable. Instead of throwing facts into their minds and hoping some stick, help them see patterns, categories, and links. That’s how knowledge becomes sticky.

And if you find yourself fumbling to explain something you don’t understand either, you’re not alone. There are ways to approach learning as a team, discovery-based, rather than parent-as-teacher.

You’re growing together

Supporting a child who struggles with retention is tiring, yes. But it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your bond. To show them that you’re on their side. That “not getting it right away” is not failure—it’s learning in action.

So the next time you watch your child stumble over those same few lines, imagine what it would take to make those words come alive. It might be changing the tone. The setting. The format. Or it might be walking away from the task for a while and coming back with fresh eyes and new tools.

Because yes, it’s normal. And yes, it can get easier—with a little creativity, patience, and connection.