How to Explain a Lesson to Your Child When You Don’t Understand It Yourself

The Pressure of Not Knowing

You’re sitting at the kitchen table for another round of homework. Your child is staring blankly at their math worksheet—or maybe it’s science this time. They look up, eyes wide, and ask, “Can you help me understand this?” And your heart sinks.

Because... you don’t understand it either.

This moment is all too common. You might feel embarrassed, frustrated, or guilty. After all, you want to support your child. But how can you explain something you don’t remember—or never understood in the first place?

Let’s be clear: not knowing the answers doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. And there are plenty of ways to help your child learn even when you feel out of your depth. Often, your role isn’t to be the expert—it’s to be their learning companion.

Start Where You Both Are

Don’t pretend to know something you don’t. Be honest, and say, “I don’t really remember this. Why don’t we try to figure it out together?” This teaches your child an important lesson: even adults don’t know everything, and that’s okay.

In fact, working through confusion alongside your child can model a growth mindset. They’ll see that learning isn’t about always knowing—it’s about curiosity, effort, and persistence. You become their teammate, not their lecturer.

Break It Down—Together

When the lesson feels overwhelming, encourage your child to read (or reread) it aloud. Ask them to explain what they think it means. You might be surprised by how much they already understand—and how much you can figure out just by talking through it.

Try asking open-ended questions like:

• “Where do you think it gets confusing?”
• “Can you tell me what you understand so far?”
• “What does the example in the book show?”

You don’t have to be the one explaining. Often, by guiding your child through their own thought process, they begin to make sense of the material themselves.

Use Tools That Make Learning Click

Sometimes the issue isn’t that a child lacks ability—it’s that the lesson format doesn’t match how they learn best. Maybe your child is more of a listener or a hands-on learner than a reader. If reading paragraphs of information bogs them down, try audio-based methods to lift the frustration.

Some parents have found relief with tools that reimagine learning altogether. For instance, one parent told me how turning their daughter’s lesson into an audio adventure story—with her name as the hero—helped her finally grasp a tricky science concept. They used an app that personalizes lessons this way—like Skuli, which can transform written content into custom audio stories or even interactive quizzes generated from a photo of the homework. Suddenly, learning didn’t feel like homework—it felt like play.

Even just transforming a complex chapter into audio can help—something the two of you might listen to together in the car, on an evening walk, or while cooking dinner. This approach supports children who need to hear and imagine to truly learn, as described in this article on sound-based learning.

Let Your Child Teach You

One of the most powerful learning strategies is teaching. Encourage your child to become the “teacher” and explain the concept to you. They'll need to organize their thinking, use their own words, and go step-by-step—all of which deepen understanding.

Feel free to ask, “So if I were a student, how would you help me understand this part?” Or, “Could you draw it for me like a teacher might on the board?” You’re not testing them—you’re inviting them to explore their understanding creatively.

This method also lightens the pressure on you. You’re not required to be the expert. You're just the student asking good questions.

Learning Doesn’t Have to Happen All at Once

Sometimes, stepping away is wiser than pushing harder. If neither of you understands after 20 frustrating minutes, take a break. Go for a walk. Eat a snack. Return later, or ask the teacher for clarification the next day.

Meanwhile, you can keep curiosity alive by exploring the topic another way. Maybe there's a YouTube explainer, a picture book, or even household objects you can use to model the problem—especially useful in math, as explored in this math strategies guide.

And remember, every child has their own rhythm. If you're wondering how to align homeschooling moments with focus times, this guide on learning timing might help.

You’re Doing Enough—And Then Some

It’s easy to feel like you’re failing your child when you can’t explain every lesson. But here’s the truth:

Just by sitting beside them, asking questions, re-reading directions, seeking tools, and believing they can figure it out—you’re doing the most important part. You’re showing up. You’re showing love. And you’re reminding them that learning, while sometimes hard, is something we face together.

If you need help building a low-stress routine to review lessons consistently, this practical reflection offers steps that support families like yours.

Spoiler: you don’t need to master the curriculum. You just need to keep learning, together.