How to Help a Child Who Struggles to Follow Instructions at School

When Simple Instructions Aren’t So Simple

You're sitting across from the teacher at yet another parent-teacher meeting, a familiar knot forming in your stomach. Your child is bright, curious, even imaginative, but there it is again—"He doesn't follow instructions" or "She misses key steps in class." You nod, because you've already seen it during homework: skipped questions, confusion over what the task even was, frustration that quickly snowballs into tears or disengagement. You're not alone. Many parents face this difficult intersection—where understanding something begins with simply understanding the instructions.

It's Not Laziness: Understanding the Why

When a child struggles to follow instructions, it's easy to assume they’re not paying attention or they’re being careless. But often, there's a lot more going on beneath the surface. Executive functioning skills—like memory, planning, and mental flexibility—are still developing in early and middle childhood. For some kids, these skills mature a little later or are impacted by learning differences such as ADHD or dyslexia.

In fact, what looks like a listening problem might actually be a processing one. Your child may hear the instruction, but not retain it long enough to act on it, or they interpret it in a different way. This can quickly spiral into frustration and school-related stress. We explore this more deeply in our article What if My Child Needs to Learn Differently?

What Following Instructions Actually Requires

Breaking it down, to successfully follow a classroom instruction, a child must:

• Listen actively while possibly filtering out distractions
• Understand vocabulary, structure, and implied meaning
• Remember multi-step directions in order
• Initiate the task and stay on track without forgetting part of the instruction

That's not a minor ask—especially in a fast-paced, noisy, or high-pressure setting like school.

Where Frustration Begins—for Both of You

You’ve probably seen your child freeze when they begin homework. The page looks overwhelming. They don’t seem to know where to start. When you ask what the instruction says, they give a vague shrug or say, “I don’t get it.” You feel the cortisol rise, not just in them—but in you.

But instead of pushing harder or explaining louder, one of the best things you can do in moments like these is to slow down. Breathe. Ask gentle questions that can help you pinpoint where the confusion begins: “What do you think this part means?” or “What’s the first thing we’re supposed to do?”

Empathy opens the door to insight. Often, what you’ll find is that your child wants to do well—they just feel lost. And sometimes that feeling of being constantly behind or ‘wrong’ leads them to tune out entirely, as we explored in When Your Child Starts to Tune Out at School.

Building a Bridge Between Instruction and Understanding

What can actually help? Here are some trusted, real-world methods parents like you are using—not to make your child fit the system, but to help them succeed within it.

Use Visuals and Break It Down

Kids who struggle with verbal instruction often benefit from visual cues. At home, write out steps using colors or symbols. If your child forgets multi-step instructions, post simple checklists in their workspace. You might even draw silly icons for each task to help memorize them.

Invite Them to Retell in Their Own Words

Before starting homework, do a quick check-in: “Can you say what the instruction is asking in your own words?” This isn’t about getting it ‘right’—it’s about uncovering their interpretation. If it’s off, gently guide them back. This back-and-forth helps grow both comprehension and confidence.

Bring Movement or Creativity Into Reviews

Some kids process instructions better when they’re not sitting still. Turning a lesson or instruction into a game, role-play, or story where they’re the hero gets them engaged. For instance, one parent I worked with had their son pretend he was a detective solving the “case of the mystery instructions”—together they broke the task down like clues.

In fact, this is what makes the Skuli App so meaningful for families like yours. Among its features, it turns written lessons into personalized audio adventures—where your child becomes the hero of the story, using their first name and turning abstract content and instructions into narrative quests. One parent told me her daughter went from dreading homework to asking if she could “play another chapter” of her lesson.

Stay Curious About Their School Environment

Sometimes the way instructions are delivered at school may not match how your child understands best. Are verbal instructions always given quickly, with lots of background noise? Are visual aids available? Does the teacher check for understanding?

Starting a supportive dialogue with your child’s teacher can help illuminate patterns. Try framing it as curiosity—not critique. For deeper insight into behavior that may be misinterpreted at school, see My Child Is Labeled as Disrespectful: What’s Really Going On?.

And When Progress Is Slow…

Progress with instruction-following can be uneven. There might be days when your child gets it right away, and others when they hit a wall halfway through. Be patient with yourself and with them. You’re doing critical work—not just helping with a worksheet, but nurturing self-esteem, learning how your child learns, and building trust that lasts far beyond school.

In those moments when you worry they’re being left behind, return to this truth: Your child is not broken. They may simply need to learn in a different way. And that’s okay. For more guidance on nurturing these bright, yet struggling learners, you may find strength in How to Support a Curious Child Who Struggles in School.