How to Encourage Your Child Through Ongoing School Struggles

When School Becomes a Daily Battle

"Why is this so hard for me?" your child mutters, slumped over yet another half-finished homework sheet. It's the third evening this week you’ve had to coax them back to the table, and your patience — despite love and concern — is wearing thin. Many parents find themselves in this exact moment. The hope that school will just "click" one day begins to erode, replaced with worry, guilt, and exhaustion.

But as disheartening as these moments can be, your child doesn’t need perfection. They need to feel seen, capable, and supported — especially when school feels like climbing a mountain in flip-flops.

Recognizing Effort, Not Just Outcome

It’s tempting to focus on the grades — the red marks on math tests or the missing homework notifications — because that’s what teachers and emails bring to your attention. But children thrive when we recognize the process instead of only the product. Did they sit down without a meltdown? Start writing even though the words didn’t come easily? These small victories deserve celebration.

Try reflecting moments back to them: “I saw how hard it was to start that science report, but you opened your book anyway. That shows determination.” Children internalize these reflections as part of their identity — not just as a student, but as a person who keeps trying.

In fact, responding supportively to bad grades is one of the most powerful ways to reinforce their effort instead of discouraging it.

Understanding the Emotional Weight

Your child's academic challenges aren't just academic. They are tangled with emotions: frustration, embarrassment, fear. Some children begin believing they’re “stupid” or “lazy” simply because they learn differently. These false narratives can be deeply damaging.

Take time to understand how they feel about school. Don’t interrogate. Instead, invite: “What’s one part of school you wish was easier?” or “What part of homework makes your stomach twist up?” These insights help you see the hidden story behind the struggling learner.

If conversations are tough, technology can sometimes open that door. Tools like the Skuli App allow children to engage with lessons in more relatable formats — such as turning a confusing lesson into a personalized audio adventure, where your child gets to be the hero using their own name. Suddenly, review time feels playful, and their relationship with learning softens.

You Are Not Their Tutor — You Are Their Ally

One emotional trap many parents fall into is trying to fix the problems themselves. You sit for hours re-explaining fractions, writing flashcards, and googling learning hacks. While well-intended, it can turn the kitchen table into a battlefield. What your child needs more consistently than explanations is connection — someone in their corner cheering them on.

There’s freedom in saying: “I don’t know all the answers, but I’ll help you find them.” Outsource when you need to. That might be a tutor, educational games, or a tool that can, say, snap a photo of a worksheet and turn it into a personalized 20-question quiz for your kid to try independently — like the Skuli App offers. These small supports lift the weight off your shoulders and return you to your most important role: their advocate, not their homework enforcer.

Create Meaningful Routines, Not Power Struggles

Some children resist homework not because of the subject, but because they’re exhausted from the unpredictability of after-school life. Short, predictable routines — perhaps 30 minutes of rest and food before sitting down for just 20 minutes of focused work — can work wonders.

One parent I spoke to created a “Homework Spot” together with her son. They picked out a beanbag, got noise-cancelling headphones, and chose three gentle playlist options he could use while working. She now sees less resistance — not because the math got easier, but because the space feels safe and owned by him.

Some families find that turning written lessons into audio files (which can be played during car rides or while folding laundry together) shifts the dynamic, especially for kids who learn better by listening. Reducing friction matters. Consistency beats perfection every time.

Keep the Long View in Mind

It can be heart-wrenching to watch your child fall behind classmates. But don’t measure their success by milestones set for everyone else. Keep the focus on progress. From understanding how to bounce back after setbacks — as explored in this article on academic resilience — to learning how to manage school-related fears (explored here), remember: your child is becoming more than a student. They’re learning how to ask for help, face discomfort, and keep going. These are skills for life.

If your child has failed tests repeatedly, it doesn’t mean they can’t succeed. In fact, many children do — especially when their emotional support system stays strong. You are that system. You are their safe landing space and their champion.

You and Your Child Are Growing Together

None of this is easy. It’s not supposed to be. Parenting a struggling learner calls on every resource — patience, creativity, humility, and above all, love. But while the challenges are real, they are not insurmountable. And you're not alone.

Keep listening. Keep noticing their effort. Let them take breaks when needed, and bring play back into learning when possible. Your encouragement — offered consistently, even in small moments — is a powerful tool. And it lasts far longer than any grade ever will.