How Do I Know If My Child Needs Extra Help at Home?

by Skuli | Available on AppStore + GooglePlay

• 4 min read

When the Struggles Start to Show

You're sitting beside your child at the kitchen table. It's 7:45 p.m. Homework is spread out across every surface. One math problem has taken thirty minutes, and you're both out of patience. Your child, usually bubbly and curious, looks distant, frustrated—or worse, defeated. You wonder quietly, Is this just a rough night, or does my child need more support?

You're not alone in asking this question. Many parents hesitate before seeking extra academic help because they fear overreacting. But not all challenges "pass with time." Recognizing the signs early can make all the difference. So how can you tell when your child isn't just struggling—but needs consistent extra help at home?

Patterns Over Isolated Incidents

All kids have off days. A missed assignment, a low test score, or a tearful afternoon aren’t automatic red flags. What matters is the pattern. If school-related struggles appear several times a week, or your child's mood shifts dramatically around homework or learning, it's worth paying attention.

Look for these kinds of patterns:

  • Frequent emotional meltdowns during or before homework time
  • Regular complaints like “I hate school,” “I’m dumb,” or “I can’t do this”
  • Avoidance behaviors—suddenly needing a snack, bathroom break, or anything else to delay starting homework
  • Repeated low grades, especially after honest attempts to complete work
  • Teacher feedback about falling behind, lack of focus, or unfinished assignments

If you're noticing more than one of these consistently over several weeks, it may be more than just a developmental phase or normal reluctance.

Understanding the Root: Not Just Laziness

This is a truth every parent deserves to hear: children don’t want to fail or struggle. When they do, especially at this age, it’s often because something is blocking them. It might be a learning difficulty, an attention issue, a mismatch between teaching style and learning style, or even anxiety.

I've spoken to countless parents who’ve assumed their child was just being unmotivated—until later learning about a visual processing issue, or that their child was an auditory learner in a visually-heavy classroom. Identifying these underlying factors takes time, curiosity, and often trial and error. But it starts with being open to the idea that the struggle has a cause—and it’s not your child being lazy.

Trust What You’re Seeing at Home

One mom I recently spoke with, Dana, told me she knew something was off when her son started hiding his backpack after school. When they finally unpacked it together, she found crumpled math worksheets and a quiz with a score he hadn't wanted her to see. "He’s never been a big fan of math," she said, "but this was... different. His confidence was crumbling."

Sometimes, teachers may not catch what you’re seeing at home—especially if your child is skilled at masking their struggles during school hours. That’s why your observations matter. If your parental instincts are lighting up, pay attention. Stay in communication with your child’s teacher, but treat your home-based observations as valid data.

Creating Gentle Support Without Shame

So, what if you do suspect your child needs extra help? That doesn’t mean drilling or hiring tutors right away. Think about how to gently add more support within your existing routine.

For example, if your child is overwhelmed by written review materials, try finding multisensory ways to revisit lessons. Something as simple as turning a word-heavy worksheet into spoken content can open up understanding. Some parents use apps to convert lessons into engaging formats—for instance, you can snap a photo of a school page and transform it into a personalized quiz your child actually wants to finish, or even into an adventure story where they are the hero of the lesson. (The Sculi App does both.) For auditory learners or kids who get anxious with written material, tools like these can relieve enormous pressure.

Pair this with making homework time less hostile. If you haven't already, consider ways to turn homework into a more positive experience each day.

Get Clear on What They Can vs. Can't Do (Yet)

One useful reflection: separate what your child will not do from what they cannot do—yet. If your child resists reading, is it because they don’t like the book... or because reading is hard for them? Are they ignoring instructions—or do they not understand them?

Finding clarity here often requires close listening, some trial with different support strategies, and sometimes professional insight. But even at home, you can start small: keep a log for a few weeks. Note which tasks lead to resistance. Spot where confidence grows or crumbles. And build slowly from what they can confidently do.

Know That Help Comes in Many Forms

Needing help doesn’t mean you're failing as a parent—or that your child is broken. Help can look like:

The most powerful help often comes when a child feels understood and supported by the adult who knows them best: you.

Final Thought: You're Allowed to Ask for Help, Too

The moment you start to worry about your child’s academic or emotional wellbeing, you become their advocate. That’s a powerful role—but it can also be exhausting. Remember, you don't have to figure it all out alone. Whether it's chatting with your child's teacher, trying out a new educational tool at home, or even simply asking your child what feels hard for them—you’re taking the right first steps.

You’re not just helping with homework. You're helping your child build the self-trust and confidence they need to move forward. And that is meaningful, lasting work.