How Do I Find Out What Kind of Learner My Child Is?

Understanding the Way Your Child’s Brain Lights Up

Let’s be honest for a minute. Most parents—myself included—weren’t taught to learn in a way that matched our brains. We weren’t asked if we learned better by listening or seeing or doing. We were expected to sit still, focus, and figure it out. So when your child melts down during homework, not because they’re lazy, but because they just don’t get it the way it’s being taught—it’s natural to feel helpless and frustrated.

But it doesn't have to stay that way. Figuring out what kind of learner your child is can be like switching on a light in a dim room. Suddenly, math problems stop feeling like a war zone. Reading comprehension turns into a story they actually care about. And best of all? Your relationship is no longer tethered to nightly homework battles.

What Are Learning Styles—And Do They Really Matter?

While there’s some debate among educators about how rigidly we should define learning styles, most agree that children do show strong preferences in the way they process information. Some kids soak in details when they can see things (visual learners). Others remember things they have the chance to touch or manipulate (kinesthetic learners). And then there are the kids who pick things up just by listening, even if they look like they’re distracted (auditory learners).

The goal isn’t to pigeonhole your child. It’s to notice what clicks for them—and to use that knowledge to offer support that actually works. If you’ve ever found yourself repeating instructions over and over and wondering, Why aren't they getting this?, learning styles might help connect the dots.

Start by Observing Without Judgment

I once worked with a mother whose 9-year-old son struggled daily with spelling tests. He would stare blankly at the page while she quizzed him, only to burst into tears halfway through. One night, instead of pushing him through the test, she asked him, “How do you think you learn best?” His answer stunned her: “I see the words in my head when I write them in pink marker.”

Turns out, he was a visual learner—and the act of seeing colorful letters helped him remember. When she encouraged him to practice spelling using colored pencils and let him decorate the words on index cards, he started to retain vocabulary without tears.

Try watching how your child naturally gravitates toward learning:

• Do they talk through problems out loud?
• Do they re-watch how-to videos repeatedly?
• Are they constantly doodling or building while listening?
• Do they ask to move around during reading time?

Start by noticing. And then, follow the clues.

Test Different Modalities—Gently

Imagine your child needs to learn multiplication facts. Instead of a one-size-fits-all drill sheet, try three different approaches and see which one sparks engagement:

• Write out colorful multiplication charts together (visual)
• Do a dance for each times table (kinesthetic)
• Sing them to a catchy tune or listen to an audio version (auditory)

Whichever method helps them light up or retain better? That’s a clue—not just for multiplication, but across subjects. Let it inform how you prep for tests and tackle assignments. This might also explain why traditional study methods haven’t worked. If your child is struggling in class, and you're not sure why, you might find clues in this article on signs your child may be falling behind.

Learning Types and Everyday Life

Remember: your child doesn’t stop learning when the textbook closes. If your child loves listening to podcasts or makes up imaginary scenarios during play, they might thrive with more narrative- and sound-based learning.

This is where we as parents can get creative. I’ve worked with families who turned spelling lists into bedtime stories, where the child’s stuffed animal had to spell their way through a kingdom. One clever parent used an app to turn a school reading lesson into a personalized audio adventure starring her daughter. Hearing her own name as the hero of the story made everything more engaging. And yes, the lessons suddenly became interesting again.

That parent used the Sculi App, which lets you turn written lessons into customized audio adventures where your child becomes the main character—with their name at the center of the action. For children who are auditory learners or simply tired of staring at worksheets, it can be a wonderful tool for bringing school content to life in a deeply personal way.

Learning Styles Change Over Time (and That’s Okay)

One mistake I often see parents make is assuming that figuring out a child’s learning style is a one-and-done process. But just like their taste in everything from food to friends, the way your child learns will evolve. A third-grader who needs to move constantly may, by sixth grade, become someone who dives into graphic organizers and grid paper.

So stay open. Be curious. If your child suddenly resists the very technique that worked last month, don’t panic. Instead, involve them in the conversation. Teaching kids to understand how they learn best is one of the most valuable lessons they’ll ever receive—and it makes them far more equipped to learn independently later on.

Let Them Lead

Finally, remember that your child does not need to learn the way you do—or how their teacher prefers them to. Your job isn’t to shape them into a specific kind of learner. It’s to observe, support, and let them lead. You might even find that once you empower your child to take ownership of their learning style, you have to remind them less, not more. (Yes, even during test prep. If that's your pain point, see this article on smart revision strategies.)

You don’t need to wait for a classroom label to guide your child well. You just need trust, attention, and a little trial and error. And really, that’s what parenting is, isn’t it?