How Divorce Affects Your Child’s Sleep (And What You Can Do About It)

When bedtime becomes a battle

"She just won’t fall asleep anymore. Every night it’s the same — she climbs into bed, stares at the ceiling, and tells me she misses Daddy. Or cries because tomorrow she’s leaving for the week. We used to have such a good routine... and now everything’s upside down."

If you’re a parent navigating divorce, maybe those words feel familiar. You’re already juggling emotional transitions, different households, maybe even tight schedules with homework — and then come the sleep issues. Your once well-rested child is suddenly overtired, cranky, struggling to focus at school. And it’s heartbreaking, because they’re not just losing sleep. They’re losing a sense of peace.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to easing your child’s sleep disruptions after divorce — but understanding where they come from, and how to gently anchor your child again, makes all the difference.

Why children of divorced parents often lose sleep

Sleep relies on a feeling of safety and predictability. When parents separate, even in the most amicable of circumstances, routines change and emotional security can feel threatened. Kids ages 6 to 12, in particular, are hyper-aware of shifts in family structure. Their minds, still developing emotionally and cognitively, often turn these changes into anxious thoughts — which play out most vividly when the lights go out.

A few common patterns we see include:

• Difficulty falling asleep: Children may worry about which parent they’ll see next, or blame themselves for the separation.
• Frequent nightmares: Anxiety often shows up in disrupted dream cycles, especially when feelings are unspoken.
• Sleep regression: Even older children might start seeking the comfort of co-sleeping or bedtime routines they’ve outgrown.

Understanding these changes doesn't make them vanish overnight, but it helps dissolve that quiet panic we feel as parents when a bedtime routine spirals.

The emotional roots beneath bedtime struggles

Consider this: bedtime is often the very moment kids let go of distractions — screens, homework, even the noise of the day — and turn inward. If their emotional world feels shaky, that’s the moment it rises up. Tears, refusal to sleep, or clinginess aren’t just behavioral issues. They’re emotional signals.

That’s why it's essential to create a reassuring emotional environment before bedtime. Start by carving out 15 minutes of connection in the evening — not for lectures or ‘checking in,’ but real presence. Lie down next to your child. Read together. Ask open-ended questions like, "Anything bubble up for you today that felt tricky or weird?"

When two homes disrupt one night’s rest

If your child regularly moves between two households, transitions themselves can disrupt sleep. A child’s internal clock thrives on consistency — not just the time they go to bed, but the feeling around bedtime: the stories, the scents, the softness of the lighting. When those shift from house to house, sound sleep becomes harder to access.

Try coordinating with your co-parent to create similar wind-down routines in both homes. That might mean both of you using the same bedtime storybooks, playing identical white noise sounds, or nesting their favorite items in both rooms. If you’re working on strengthening co-parent consistency, sleep routines are a gentle, manageable place to begin.

What you can do tonight (and tomorrow)

There are no magic tricks — but children are incredibly resilient when they feel seen, steadied, and supported. Here are ways to build those supports, slowly and lovingly:

• Create a reliable bedtime structure: Same sequence, same pace, same order — especially in the hour before sleep. Think bath, pajamas, quiet activities (no screens), and low lighting.
• Give space for emotions: A ‘worry notebook’ by the bedside or a stuffed animal that ‘holds big feelings’ can symbolically give children permission to release heavy thoughts.
• Use storytelling for comfort: Story-based learning isn’t just engaging — it’s emotionally soothing. For children juggling split schedules and workload, transforming study content into creative audio adventures where they’re the hero can be both grounding and fun. (Many parents using the Skuli App, for example, appreciate how it turns lessons into story-based formats that make car rides, bedtime, and transitions easier to manage — while gently reinforcing learning.)
• Talk about the plan for tomorrow: A simple sentence like, “Tomorrow you’re waking up here, going to school, then dinner with Dad” can significantly reduce nighttime anxiety.

If your child is having a particularly hard time adjusting, you’re not alone. We’ve created specific guides on handling homework between two homes and nurturing kids who cry during transitions. Sometimes, supporting sleep means gently addressing the day’s emotions first.

Behind every bedtime meltdown is a longing for stability

Even if your child can’t articulate it, every resistance, every stall, every extra hug at bedtime is a tiny plea: “Help me feel safe again.” That’s what this moment asks of us — not perfection, but presence. Your child doesn’t need a flawless routine. They need you — calming, warm, and well-intentioned — doing your best show them they are secure, even amidst change.

So tonight, when the lights dim and your child starts to fidget or worry, don’t rush them to sleep. Instead, see that moment as one more chance to rebuild trust, one bedtime at a time.