How to Handle Homework When Your Child Lives Between Two Homes

When Two Homes Mean Two Routines

For parents navigating shared custody, managing nightly routines, school papers, and emotional ups and downs is already a full-time job. But when the math workbook is at Dad’s house and the reading log is at Mom’s, even homework can become a battleground. If you’ve ever stared at your child’s school agenda and asked, “Wait, wasn’t this due yesterday…?”, you’re far from alone.

Children between two homes often carry more than their backpacks — they’re hauling emotional transitions, shifting expectations, and yes, forgotten spelling lists. It’s not unusual for a sixth grader to shut down completely when trying to adapt homework habits to two entirely different environments. That resistance? Usually frustration disguised as defiance.

The Homework Struggles Are About More Than Just School

Let’s pause here. Because if you're feeling overwhelmed, chances are your child is too. Their brain is trying to track which house they're sleeping at, what time dinner is, and which parent is more likely to enforce the homework. Often, the homework conflict isn't really about homework — it's about predictability, connection, and control.

We’ve written before about children who cry when they switch homes, and the deeper need for continuity during change. Homework is part of that continuity. A consistent school routine helps kids feel like not everything is changing, even if their walls and bedtime routines are.

Team Parenting: Share the Homework Load Without Confusion

It’s tempting to mentally check out when it’s not your “week,” especially if emotions with your co-parent are still raw. But successful shared parenting almost always hinges on structure. Sit down (virtually or over coffee) with your co-parent and create a basic agreement:

• Who checks the school platform or folder each week?
• Is there a shared digital calendar or notebook tracking assignments?
• Who reviews which assignments, and by when?

Low-contact co-parents might prefer using a journal that travels between homes or a shared Google Doc. It’s not glamorous—but it transforms the “Who was supposed to help with this project?” conversation into “Let’s check the log.”

Communicating well doesn’t mean becoming best friends. It simply means creating enough of a bridge that your child isn’t doing all the crossing alone. And remember, this cooperation helps you too. You’re no longer starting from scratch every Sunday night.

Let Your Child Take the Lead — With a Little Scaffolding

For children ages 6 to 12, executive function is still developing. That means planning, organization, and memory are fragile, especially in high-stress or transitional moments. Rather than expecting your child to “just be responsible,” help them build a system they understand and can eventually own.

One father of an 8-year-old boy shared that every handoff between homes used to end in shouting. Their son forgets things easily. Now, they use a colorful checklist at each pickup: backpack? pencil case? math book? breathing space? It takes five minutes and saves hours of stress.

You might also consider tech tools to support their independence. Some children thrive when they can review lessons in audio format, especially during transitions like car rides between homes. With Skuli, for instance, you can take a photo of their written lesson and transform it into an engaging, personalized audio adventure — complete with their first name. For a child who resists reviewing multiplication tables but loves being the hero of a story, this can be a game-changer.

What If My Ex Won’t Cooperate?

Let’s be real. Some co-parents are not supportive. Some ignore agreements or sabotage routines. If this is your situation, first, be gentle with yourself — it’s not all on you to carry this. Then, simplify as much as possible:

• Keep two sets of supplies in both homes, when possible.
• Photograph assignments so your child always has digital access, even if papers are forgotten.
• Design a simple daily checklist that your child fills out regardless of location — make it visual and fun.

Above all, put your energy where you have influence. Your consistent presence and calm approach matter more than one forgotten worksheet.

When Emotions Get in the Way of Learning

Sometimes, no amount of planning can untangle the big feelings your child carries between houses. If your child is hiding homework or melting down every Monday, it's worth checking in on the emotional layers underneath.

We’ve explored how kids process their feelings about divorce, and how academic self-esteem often takes a hit during big life changes. Supporting your child might mean more hugs than homework help one day — and that’s okay. Emotional regulation is a learning goal, too.

Finally, if your child starts saying, “I wish you and Mom were still together,” or “It was easier when we lived in one house,” don’t panic. Those feelings are natural, and you can explore responses in our article here. Naming the feeling doesn’t mean the wish will come true. It just means your child trusts you enough to say what's on their heart.

Consistency Is Not About Perfection

No parent gets it right every time — especially in two households. Homework will be forgotten. Tears will happen. But the goal isn’t flawless execution. It’s building a rhythm your child can rely on, between the bouncing back and forth. When they see you showing up — even tired, even uncertain — they learn what it means to keep going. And that lesson? Is worth every spelling test.