10 Unexpected Ways to Say 'Well Done' to Your Child
Why Traditional Praise Isn’t Always Enough
Parents of children aged 6 to 12 know the daily dance: a spelling list, a math worksheet, a science chapter... and the looming question—"How can I make them feel proud without overdoing it?" Saying “Good job” is easy, but for a child navigating academic struggles or self-doubt, those two words often fall short. What they really need is connection, authenticity, and acknowledgment that goes beyond praise for results and reaches their effort, resilience, or thought process.
This article explores 10 meaningful, sometimes unexpected ways to say “Well done” to your child—ones that truly stick. These ideas invite you to step into their world, speak their emotional language, and recognize success in surprising forms. Not every strategy is about grades; it’s about growth, character, and the journey of becoming.
1. Celebrate Curiosity, Not Just Correctness
Imagine your child asks a question mid-homework session that leads down a 10-minute Google rabbit hole. They might not get the assignment done faster, but their curiosity is lighting up. Instead of steering them back with impatience, consider saying: “I love how you wanted to understand that more deeply.” This kind of comment fuels the spirit of learning, not just academic completion.
It’s this kind of feedback that encourages children to enjoy education for education’s sake. And in that spirit, if your child is more of a listener than a reader, turning a difficult subject into an audio story—perhaps one where they’re the hero—can be a powerful way to reinforce their interest. Some apps, like Skuli, allow you to turn lessons into personalized audio adventures that use your child's name and voice tone, helping them stay engaged and motivated.
2. Say It With a Note—Not Just Words
A sticky note in their lunchbox that says, “I saw how you worked through that tough word problem last night. So proud of you,” can turn an ordinary school day into something special. Written affirmations feel permanent. They're tangible proof of recognition—a keepsake for the spirit.
3. Let Them Teach You
One of the most powerful ways to validate your child’s learning and effort is to ask them to teach you what they know. It flips the power dynamic and says, “I value your brain.” Whether it’s a recent science concept or how multiplication tables work, ask them to explain. Then respond with: “You're a great teacher. You helped me understand something new.”
4. Remind Them of Their Past Progress
When your child struggles or feels like giving up, it’s easy for them to forget how far they’ve come. Try gently saying: “Remember how hard reading used to feel for you last year? And now you just finished a whole chapter on your own.” Connecting current effort to past growth helps children internalize the idea that they can overcome challenges over time. More on that kind of growth-centered parenting can be found in our learning-from-mistakes guide.
5. Personalize the Compliment
Generic praise can feel hollow. “You’re so smart” doesn’t tell a child what was valuable about their effort. Instead, try: “I noticed how patiently you double-checked your answers. That kind of focus is impressive.” Descriptive feedback not only lands better emotionally—it sharpens their sense of what to keep doing.
6. Create a Ritual of Recognition
Maybe it's a short chat at bedtime where you recap the day and name one effort or value they showed. (“Today you didn’t give up, even when that paragraph was confusing. That’s grit.”) Small rituals of recognition, especially around the dinner table or before bed, help a child feel seen regularly, not just when they achieve a milestone.
7. Use a Celebratory Object
Some families have a special item—a praise jar, a decorated bell, a small “Well Done” token. When a child does something courageously or works through something difficult, the object is used. Over time, these physical moments of celebration—when carefully used—build a culture of appreciation in your home.
8. Catch the Quiet Wins
Most children know they’ll get attention if they win a prize or ace a test. But what about the day they asked for help instead of shutting down? Or the moment they decided to try again after getting a low score? Catching these moments and naming them teaches your child that effort matters—and isn’t overlooked.
To support that kind of quiet perseverance, consider encouraging activities at home that build confidence, where success isn’t grade-based but centered on problem-solving and self-trust.
9. Validate the Emotion Behind the Work
Sometimes a child finishes an assignment through frustration, self-doubt, or anxiety. In those moments, “Good job” can feel dismissive. Try: “I saw how hard that was for you emotionally—and yet, you stuck with it. That takes real strength.” You're praising not just the action, but the emotional labor behind it.
If you’re navigating frequent meltdowns or stress around school tasks, you might also find this read on emotions and learning helpful.
10. Shift the Spotlight to Their Strengths
Let’s say your child struggles with reading but is thriving in music or drawing. Praising their schoolwork can feel forced when they’re not seeing success. Shift your energy: “You bring such creativity to your thinking—that doodle you made while studying helped you remember the material. That’s clever.” Children often don’t make the leap from strength to strategy unless we guide them.
Want more ideas on how to help your child reframe how they see themselves? Take a look at this guide on building self-esteem in children.
Final Thoughts: Praise That Powers Growth
Your child doesn’t just want to be applauded. They want to be understood. In the rush of busy weekdays and the heartbreak of homework struggles, the right kind of affirmation can be a lifeboat. Moving away from surface-level praise and into deeper recognition helps your child feel secure, seen, and supported—not only as a student, but as a growing human.
And remember, noticing effort takes practice from us too. But even exhausted, anxious parents have something powerful to give: the gift of noticing. The power of personalized encouragement. The ability to see their child not as a set of results, but a story unfolding.
If your child has been teased at school or is rebuilding confidence after a tough patch, emotional support matters even more. We invite you to read more on how to rebuild confidence after teasing.