Why Do Some Kids Feel Anxious Before Every New School Year?

The Back-to-School Blues: More Than Just Nerves

It’s late August. You've just finished grocery shopping for school supplies and your child’s new backpack is neatly packed by the door. But instead of excitement, your 8-year-old is quiet, withdrawn, maybe even tearful. "I don't want to go back," they whisper. As a parent, your heart aches. You wonder: Why does this happen every single year?

Back-to-school anxiety isn't just a fleeting case of the Sunday scaries. For many children—especially those who’ve struggled with school in the past—each new academic year feels like a mountain too steep to climb. And for parents, it can be just as draining, especially when you’ve tried everything you can think of to make things smoother.

What’s Beneath the Surface of Their Worry

Some children experience genuine back-to-school anxiety because their past experiences have taught them that school is hard, stressful, or even painful. These feelings don't come from nowhere.

For example, if your child faced learning difficulties last year—perhaps with reading, math, or focusing in class—they may associate school with frustration or embarrassment. If they didn’t connect well with their teacher or were overwhelmed by noisy classrooms, feelings of helplessness may have built up over time.

When kids can't name these emotions clearly, they often show up in other ways: stomach aches, sleep problems, irritability, or just saying "I don't want to go." What may look like resistance is often anxiety in disguise.

“What If I’m Not Good Enough This Time?”

Children between ages 6 and 12 are developing a stronger sense of identity, and school plays a central role. Their self-worth becomes increasingly tied to how they perform—and how they perceive themselves in comparison to others.

So when a child says, “I’m no good at school”, it’s not just about academics. It’s a statement about their growing belief system. If they struggled last year, they may quietly fear that this year will be more of the same. And sometimes, kids who put too much pressure on themselves carry a hidden fear of failure under the surface enthusiasm.

These stories we tell ourselves—especially when we’re young—can stick. That’s why helping your child rewrite their story is not just helpful, it’s essential.

Creating Healing Routines—Before School Even Starts

Rather than jumping straight into school mode at the end of summer, consider introducing gentle transitions. For instance, spend some quiet moments together reading or reviewing last year’s topics—but do it playfully, not formally.

You might take a photo of a page from their math notebook and, instead of testing them, turn it into a personalized mini-quiz game. Tools like the Skuli app (available on both iOS and Android) let you do just that—taking a quick snapshot of a lesson and turning it into fun, bite-sized quizzes tailored to your child. It’s not a “test”; it’s a way to grow confidence while keeping things light.

For kids who learn best by listening, reviewing material through audio during a car ride, or even turning lessons into imaginative audio adventures using their first name, can help turn school into a story they want to be part of again.

Find the Balance Between Preparation and Pressure

Sometimes, in our earnest effort to prepare our kids for success, we inadvertently add to their anxiety. Test prep sheets, new routines, reminders—they can all add up. But school isn’t just about academics—it’s about safety, belonging, and the trust that kids place in us to advocate for them.

So yes, ease your child into a sleep schedule. Yes, talk about what the first day will be like. But also, make time for belly laughs, unstructured play, and storytelling. Your child may not remember every multiplication table they reviewed, but they will remember how safe they felt with you.

And if homework time becomes a source of dread later on, remember there are ways to make lessons more accessible and less stressful.

When the Anxiety Doesn’t Fade After School Starts

If your child is still distressed a few weeks into school—crying daily, refusing to go, or unable to sleep—it might be time to dig deeper. Anxiety doesn’t vanish with reassurance alone. In some cases, support from a school psychologist, academic tutor, or counselor is invaluable.

Also consider whether traditional school environments truly fit your child’s learning style. For some families, blending school with alternative learning at home, or exploring blended learning models, can provide a needed sense of control and emotional relief.

Personalized approaches often reduce anxiety more effectively than one-size-fits-all strategies. This is echoed in recent explorations of tailored learning and school stress reduction.

Helping Your Child Step Into a Story Where They’re the Hero

Children experiencing back-to-school anxiety don’t need to be “fixed”; they need to be understood. Their trepidation has roots. But the good news is that so does their resilience.

When you help them reframe school as a place where they belong—as a story they’re writing, rather than one being written for them—it slowly shifts their outlook. Look for small sparks: a smile when they feel proud of something, a question they ask because their curiosity overpowered their fear.

It may not happen overnight. But with continued support, creative strategies, and belief in who they are beyond their grades, a different school story is possible. One with less dread—and more hope.