What to Do When Your Child Struggles to Remember Their Lessons

“Everything goes in one ear and out the other…”

You’ve probably said it—or at least thought it—after sitting with your child at the kitchen table for the third evening in a row, trying to help them understand yesterday’s lesson. They nod, even repeat it back to you… but by the next day, it’s as if they never heard it. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Lots of children between the ages of 6 and 12 struggle to retain school material. Not because they’re not bright, not because they’re lazy, and certainly not because you’re not doing enough. But memory and learning don’t happen in the same way for every child. And the sooner we let go of the idea that there’s one “correct” way to study, the better we can support them.

The myth of the quiet desk and perfect concentration

We picture studying as a child sitting still at a desk, eyes on the paper, silently reviewing their notes. But what if your child isn’t wired for that? Some children need motion. Some retain better by doing. Others need story or emotion to make material stick. When we insist on one method, we may be missing the key to their memory.

Take Maya, a bubbly 8-year-old who loves animals but struggles with history lessons. Her mom, Sophie, tried everything—rewriting notes, flashcards, reading aloud. Only when she started turning historical events into animal adventures that Maya was the hero of, did things start to click. Because for Maya, memory follows emotion. It follows fun. If your child is similar, you might glean some ideas from this article on using storytelling in learning.

Memory is not just repetition—it’s connection

Children don’t remember what they repeat. They remember what they connect with. Ask yourself: when your child comes home from school, what do they recall most vividly? Usually, it’s what made them laugh, or what surprised them, not what was on the board.

So the question isn’t just “how do I make them study more?” It’s “how can I help them connect with what they’re learning?”

One powerful way is to link school topics to their actual world. Learning about fractions? Cut up a pizza together. Studying geography? Look up the place their favorite singer was born. The more active and emotionally relevant the learning, the more it sticks. You’ll find more creative starting points in this article on using your child’s curiosity as a learning engine.

Different kids, different memories

Some children are visual learners. Others are auditory. And many (if not most) are a mix. If your child struggles to retain written notes, it might be because reading is not their strongest processing channel—especially at the end of a long school day. Don’t be afraid to switch up formats.

For example, if your child loves listening to you read aloud, try recording yourself reading their lesson. Or use an app that turns their written notes into audio or a fun quiz. One parent recently shared that her son, Leo, practically glazes over when reading science summaries—but listens intently when hearing them in the car while going to soccer practice. She discovered an app that lets her upload a photo of his lesson and automatically converts it into a personalized audio adventure where Leo is the hero. Suddenly, the mitochondria aren’t boring—they’re part of Leo’s secret mission. (That quiet game-changer was the Skuli App, available on iOS and Android.)

Finding your child’s memory sweet spot may take experimenting—but when it clicks, you’ll see results fast. And learning becomes less about getting through it, and more about truly enjoying the process.

Routine can smother—or support—memory

One common pitfall: sitting down to “study” when the child is already mentally and emotionally drained. The brain needs freshness—different times of day, contexts, or even environments can change how well something is remembered.

See if you can establish a light, playful routine around memory. Try:

• Reviewing quiz-style over breakfast or dinner.
• Turning the walk to school into a “3 facts I remember” game.
• Using bath time to retell a lesson like a story, in their own words.

If you need help building a life-friendly rhythm that actually works for your kid (not just what looks good on paper), dive into this guide on building motivating routines.

When memory struggles hide something deeper

Sometimes, difficulty remembering lessons isn’t about study habits—it could be linked to stress, attention differences, or an undiagnosed learning challenge. Keep an eye out for signs like:

• They understand during the lesson, but can’t recall it hours later.
• They’re constantly distracted during review sessions.
• They express frustration or say things like “I’m just not smart.”

If you sense something more beneath the surface, don’t hesitate to consult a teacher or learning specialist. Often, a little support or diagnosis can completely reframe a child’s learning path—for their benefit and peace of mind.

And whether or not a diagnosis is needed, it’s worth reading our piece on how to turn school into an adventure, not a stressor. Many parents have found new hope through small changes that reduce pressure and rebuild confidence.

Holding on to what matters most

In the chaos of daily life, it’s easy to focus on the minutes ticking by, the homework sheets still untouched, the lessons not remembered. But learning—and memory—is not a sprint. It’s a relationship. Between your child and knowledge. Between your child and you.

So take the long view. Celebrate the days it clicks. Get curious on the days it doesn’t. Keep experimenting until it feels less like dragging and more like discovering. One page at a time, one moment of connection at a time, your child will grow. And you’ll be right there alongside them.