What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Understand Their School Lessons

Understanding the Frustration Behind "I Don't Get It"

When your child comes home from school, drops their backpack on the floor, and says, "I don't get what we’re doing in class," it can feel like your heart sinks right along with theirs. You want to help. You offer to sit with them, go over the homework, maybe even reach for a workbook or an educational video. But their eyes glaze over, their shoulders slump, and soon you’re both stuck between frustration and defeat.

If this feels familiar, you're not alone. Between ages 6 and 12, children's cognitive, emotional, and learning needs shift dramatically. What worked in first grade may not work in fourth. More than that, understanding a lesson isn’t just about intelligence—it’s about how the information is delivered, how the brain is wired to receive it, and what support the child is getting to make sense of it all.

Start with Observation, Not Instruction

One of the most powerful tools in your parenting toolbox is observation. Before jumping into explanations or extra homework, take a step back. Watch how your child approaches their lessons. Are they skipping instructions? Struggling to focus? Reading the text but not retaining anything?

In one family I worked with, eight-year-old Leo would spend over an hour confused about a single math worksheet. Turns out, he was trying to complete every problem from memory because he didn’t realize the example at the top of the page was meant to help him. No one had ever explained that explicitly. Once they did—everything shifted.

Sometimes, the learning gaps children face aren’t about content—they’re about understanding how to approach learning. Consider reading Why Your Child Struggles to Remember Their Lessons for deeper insights into this.

Rethink the Learning Format

Many children who struggle in the classroom aren’t lazy or disinterested; they simply don’t thrive with traditional instruction. Your child might be an auditory learner in a visually heavy system. Or maybe they just need more repetition, delivered in imaginative ways.

This is where embracing tools that match your child’s learning style—rather than fighting against it—can transform things. For example, on a long car ride, instead of asking your child to reread a science text they didn’t understand the first time, imagine turning that text into a personalized audio story where your child is the hero—navigating the rainforest and discovering photosynthesis in action. Some families have turned to the Skuli App for this kind of support, transforming dry material into custom adventures that feel more like play than study.

For kids who learn best by listening, this format not only boosts understanding—it builds confidence. Suddenly learning becomes a world they can explore, not a code they’re failing to crack.

Talk to the Teacher—But With the Right Questions

Your child’s teacher can be an essential partner in this journey, but meetings often focus on grades or behavior, not learning strategies. Go in with targeted questions:

• How is the lesson typically taught?
• Does my child participate or seem lost?
• What methods do you use for kids who need material explained differently?

Many schools offer differentiated instruction or additional resources, but these only help if the specific challenge is clearly identified. Once you know whether your child struggles with reading comprehension, focus, memory, or simply being overwhelmed, you can collaborate with the teacher more effectively.

Revisit the Notion of “Practice”

Sometimes, kids don’t understand because they haven’t had a chance to explore the material deeply enough. But drilling flashcards or repeating exercises isn’t always the answer. Children, especially those dealing with learning difficulties or stress, need review strategies that feel engaging, not punitive.

One mom told me how quizzes always made her daughter panic—until they found a way to turn a photo of her school notes into bite-sized, interactive questions that felt more like a game. Suddenly, tackling 20 short questions at her own pace stopped feeling like a test and started feeling doable.

Want more ideas to make review time peaceful instead of painful? Try Creative Ways to Help Your 11-Year-Old Review Without the Daily Struggle.

Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Progress

When your child feels they’re “bad at school,” their motivation can evaporate. Progress may be invisible at first—and that's normal. Take a moment to highlight small wins. Did they focus for a whole 15 minutes today? Did they remember one more vocabulary word than yesterday? Celebrate it.

Shift the conversation from “Did you get it right?” to “What did you discover today?” It helps children rebuild their self-worth around growth, not just grades.

If Your Child Has a Learning Difference

Some children have underlying challenges like dyslexia, ADHD, or processing disorders that make traditional learning methods less effective or even painful. If you suspect this might be the case, trust your instincts and seek an assessment. Early intervention can change your child’s trajectory in extraordinary ways.

To better understand how to support a child with specific needs, take a look at Best Techniques to Help a Dyslexic Child Understand Their Lessons.

Bring Joy Back Into Learning

At its heart, learning is about curiosity. When children feel safe, seen, and supported, their natural interest in the world revives. Sometimes the biggest breakthrough isn’t a new study technique—it’s finding a way to laugh through a homework session, turn spelling words into a kitchen dance-off, or sneak math into pancake recipes.

If that feels silly—it’s not. It’s science-backed parenting. To explore more playful learning ideas, you might enjoy this story: How to Turn Homework Into a Fun Moment With Your Child.

No child should feel like school is a mountain they’re too weak to climb. With your steady patience, compassion, and a few supportive tools, you can build the right path upward—one reassuring step at a time.