What to Do When Your Child Doesn’t Like School: A Parent’s Role in Rekindling Love for Learning
Your Child Doesn’t Like School—Now What?
As a parent, few things feel as disheartening as watching your child drag their feet toward school each morning—or hearing them say, point-blank, "I don't like school." Maybe it's the struggle with homework, maybe it's a constant feeling of failure, or maybe it's simply boredom. Whatever the reason, it can leave you feeling helpless, frustrated, and even a little guilty.
I met a mother recently—Caroline—who shared her story with tears in her eyes. Her 9-year-old son, Luca, was once curious and energetic, but now dreaded school. “He tells me daily, ‘I’m dumb,’” she said, “and he begs me to let him stay home.” She tried rewards... then punishments... neither worked. Her story isn't rare. And if you're reading this, you may be walking that same road.
Understanding What Their Dislike May Really Mean
First, it’s worth remembering that "not liking school" can be a symptom, not the root cause. For some kids, it’s the anxiety that comes with being behind in reading. For others, it’s feeling invisible in the classroom or overwhelmed by complex social dynamics. Children don’t always have the insight—or vocabulary—to explain it clearly. So the dislike comes out as resistance, tears, stomachaches, or even aggression.
Before anything can change, we need to gently explore the “why.” You can start by observing, not just asking:
- Do they struggle more on days with certain subjects?
- Are they avoiding homework or feigning illness?
- Have there been recent changes at school—new teachers, lost friendships, a repeated grade?
This is where being a parent becomes part detective, part therapist. And it’s okay to not have all the answers right away. Progress starts by choosing connection over correction, and curiosity over control.
Redefine Success to Reduce Pressure
In many households, academic success becomes a quiet measuring stick for self-worth—from both the child's and parents' perspectives. But when kids feel like the only thing that matters is performance, dislike of school often follows. They might start to believe they’re only lovable when they bring home good grades.
The truth is: one bad term doesn't define their future. Nor does a repeated grade mean they’ve failed. As parents, an important role we play is helping our children interpret setbacks not as indictments, but as opportunities for growth.
Try making this shift at home:
- Instead of asking “What grade did you get?” ask “What did you enjoy learning about today?”
- Celebrate effort more than results. “I saw how long you spent on that math problem—you didn’t give up.”
- Share stories from your own childhood struggles in school. Let them see that even successful adults had hard days.
Meet Them Where They Are, Not Where They “Should” Be
One of the gentlest—and most powerful—things you can do is stop comparing your child to others, even if it’s only in your own mind. Every child learns at their own pace, and some just need different pathways in order to get there. If reading from a textbook doesn't work for them, that doesn't mean they’re not trying—it means they need another door into the material.
That’s why many parents are looking beyond traditional study methods. For example, some are using tools that turn written lessons into audio adventures where their child becomes the story’s hero—a knight solving grammar quests or a detective using multiplication to crack codes. When a child hears their own name in the story and solves tasks through play, learning becomes less about pressure and more about possibility. Apps like Skuli offer gentle support in this vein, especially for kids who tune out the moment a textbook appears.
Help Them Reclaim Joy in Learning
If school feels overwhelming to your child, your mission isn’t to force enthusiasm—but to offer small, joyful wins that build momentum. One dad I know, whose daughter dreaded vocabulary drills, started making mini scavenger hunts around the house where she’d discover a new word and use it in a sentence. No worksheet, no hovering—just creativity and trust that learning can be playful again.
Another family turned car rides into “story time,” where spelling rules were woven into narrated tales. For their son, whose challenge was dyslexia, hearing the lessons instead of reading them made a world of difference. Progress came—not fast, but steadily. His sense of joy returned first. Then motivation followed. Eventually, so did the grades.
If your child is already deeply discouraged, you might want to reignite motivation gently, without pushing too hard too soon. Even a little spark can grow.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
Let’s not ignore the parent in this equation: you. Helping a child who doesn’t like school can weigh heavily. There’s guilt, worry, fear of making the wrong choices. If that sounds familiar, remember—you’re not alone. And your child doesn't need perfection from you. They need presence. Warmth. A safe space to fall apart, be rebuilt, and try again.
If you’re exhausted, please give yourself permission to rest, even emotionally. You're doing sacred work in the everyday moments. And if you’ve ever asked yourself, "Am I doing enough?" know that showing up—day after day, when it’s hard—is more than enough.
And if you need a little self-compassion, you might find comfort in this heartfelt reflection for parents in your exact shoes.
Final Words: Your Role Isn’t to Fix, But to Walk With
Your child doesn't need you to fix school for them. They need you to walk beside them as they figure it out. Sometimes that means standing quiet as they cry. Other times, it means reimagining what learning could look like—with help, with creativity, with patience.
Reconnecting a child with learning is a journey, not a sprint. But when you choose empathy over urgency, presence over perfection, you create the safest place from which they can grow.
And that’s the most powerful role a parent can play.