What to Do When You Don't Understand Your Child’s Homework

When Helping Starts to Feel Helpless

There is a particular kind of heartbreak that comes late in the day, after dinner, when your child looks up at you with furrowed brows and hopeful eyes, holding out a worksheet you don’t understand. Suddenly, you are not just a parent—you’re expected to be a tutor, deciphering math you haven’t seen since the '90s or trying to make sense of instructions that seem written in code. And when you can’t help? It feels like you’re failing them.

You’re not failing. You’re human. And you’re not alone.

I recently spoke with a mother named Elise, a single parent of two, who told me how overwhelmed she felt one night when her 9-year-old, Alice, came home with a long division assignment. "She kept asking me, 'Is this right?' and I honestly didn’t know," Elise said. "I felt like crying." Elise’s story isn’t unique. The truth is, a lot of parents—no matter how loving, involved, or determined—can find themselves mystified by their child’s homework.

Remember: Understanding Isn't the Same as Caring

It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you don’t understand the homework, your support doesn’t matter. That your role begins and ends with being a capable academic helper. But the truth is, your emotional support is the bigger gift. Children don’t just need the right answer—they need a calm, caring adult beside them who reassures them that struggling is part of the learning process.

If your child is anxious, confused, or discouraged, your presence—your willingness to sit with them even when you're not sure where to start—can make all the difference. You’re showing them that persistence matters more than perfection.

Turning Confusion Into Curiosity

Here’s a small shift that can make a big difference: instead of thinking, “I have to teach this,” try thinking, “Let’s discover this together.” When you team up with your child as a learning partner instead of a back-up teacher, the pressure lifts a little. You give yourself permission to be curious, to ask questions, and to model what real learning looks like—including the messy parts.

For instance, if your child has a science lesson about ecosystems and you're staring at a dense textbook passage, try watching a short video together about rainforest biodiversity. Pause it, talk about what you noticed. Not only are you reinforcing the topic, but you're also showing how to build understanding from different resources—an essential skill they’ll use for life.

Let Tech Work For You, Not Against You

When used thoughtfully, digital tools can bridge a painful knowledge gap and turn frustration into engagement. Elise mentioned how, during a particularly rough week, she tried using a learning app that could turn her child’s worksheet into a quiz. “I just snapped a photo, and it became an interactive set of questions Alice could actually work through without me having to explain every step. She even asked to do more.”

She’s talking about a feature within the Skuli App, which allows you to turn any lesson—via a quick photo—into a personalized quiz or even an audio adventure, with your child’s name integrated into the storyline. For kids who learn better by listening, it can turn long car rides or quiet moments before bed into powerful learning sessions. It’s small shifts like these that can relieve both your child’s stress and your own.

When You Feel Behind… You're Often Ahead

Parents often tell me they feel embarrassed not knowing the answers. But here’s what I remind them: by staying engaged, by not giving up, and by showing your child how to ask for help, you're teaching them how to be resilient learners. That’s so much more valuable than acing a fraction problem on the first try.

And if your child is struggling academically—not just with one assignment, but consistently—it may be worth digging deeper. They might be facing hidden learning challenges like dyslexia or processing issues. In those cases, having simple strategies to support a child with dyslexia while balancing your responsibilities as a parent can be essential.

You Don’t Have to Know Everything

This is worth repeating. You do not need to be an expert in long division or sentence diagramming to be a great parent. What matters most is cultivating a learning-friendly environment: one that is calm, curious, and compassionate.

Create rituals around learning that invite joy. Maybe that's doing homework together at the kitchen table with a candle and some music. Maybe it's taking breaks to walk the dog and talk through a history question. Maybe it means choosing tools that help your child feel more independent (and you less overwhelmed), like these parent-friendly digital tools created with families like yours in mind.

Start with Connection, Not Correction

At the end of the day, your ability to connect with your child emotionally will fuel their motivation to learn. Celebrate small victories. Let them teach you something they’ve understood. Learn together—imperfectly, patiently, with love.

And if you ever feel like all your time goes to just surviving the logistics of parenting, remember that even small, intentional moments add up. You can find harmony between supporting learning and living your life by exploring ideas about blending quality time and education.

Because often, the best lessons aren’t in the textbook. They're in the way you show up, even when you don’t know the answer.

For more ideas and support, check out our practical guide to free educational resources for families. It’s okay to need help—and better when you have the right kind.