What to Do When School Accommodations Get Denied

When the Support Your Child Needs Isn't Given

You're doing everything right—you've gathered documents, spoken with teachers, maybe even sat through multiple school meetings. You’ve asked politely, followed procedures, and made your case clear: your child needs help. Extra time, fewer tasks, breaks, alternative formats—whatever it may be, it’s something that could make school survivable, or even enjoyable. And yet, the school says no.

When accommodations are refused, it's more than frustrating. It's exhausting, infuriating, and scary. Because behind that "no" is a child—your child—who continues to come home defeated, behind, or anxious. You're not alone. So let's talk about what you can do next—not just practically, but emotionally and strategically.

Understanding Why Schools Say No

Sometimes, the school’s refusal isn’t about your child at all—it’s about a system stretched thin. A teacher who doesn't have the tools. A policy that’s unclear. A misunderstanding of what your child actually needs.

This doesn't excuse it. But understanding the why can clarify your next move. Schools may reject accommodations because:

• They believe the child doesn't qualify (yet) for formal recognition
• They lack the resources to implement adjustments
• They see accommodations as a “crutch” rather than support

If you feel this is happening, this article on why schools sometimes struggle to understand a child's needs can shed more light.

When You’ve Tried the Official Route

Maybe you've already submitted a request. Perhaps there’s a diagnosis, a file in a drawer, even a recommendation from a specialist. And still, no action. If so, the next step is building your child’s case in a way that’s harder to ignore. This involves documentation—but also allies.

Start gathering:

• Written feedback from teachers (emails count!)
• Assessment reports and evaluations
• Examples of your child's struggles (missed homework, test records, journal entries, even drawings)

Then, loop in outside professionals. A psychologist, occupational therapist, or speech-language pathologist can offer formal evidence of a child’s difficulties. For a step-by-step look, here’s how to get your child’s learning difficulties formally recognized.

Choosing Your Battles—And Your Allies

Not every fight must be waged alone or inside school walls. Involve someone who understands both the system and your child—an advocate, a caseworker, or a member of a parent association. Some families also find strength connecting with other parents on the same journey. It’s not just about comparing notes—it’s about feeling less alone.

And if school cooperation has hit a wall, this guide on who can help your child when the school won’t cooperate may point you in the right direction.

Focusing on What Your Child Can Control

While you're advocating at school, your child still lives each day inside that system. They still open math books they can’t follow, face tests they aren’t ready for, and come home tired. This is where our energy must also go: helping them feel okay in the meantime.

One parent I met recently told me her son, Luka, wasn’t allowed to have extra time on exams, despite a clear processing delay. Each test chipped away at his motivation. So they changed the focus at home. Before tests, Luka would turn his study guide into an audio story of himself as a time-traveling detective who had to solve problems to unlock portals. Listening boosted his recall—and gave him back some joy. (This is actually something you can easily do using the Skuli App, which transforms written lessons into personalized audio adventures using the child’s name—it’s great for kids who learn better when they feel involved.)

You can’t control the system today. But you can strengthen your child’s belief in themselves today. And that matters.

Build a Parallel Track, Not Just a Roadblock

Some families hold back on outside help, hoping that pressure will force the school to act. But your child’s wellbeing is more urgent than anyone’s policy timeline. Creating a support strategy outside school isn’t failure—it’s care.

That might look like:

• A tutor trained in learning differences
• Therapeutic support for anxiety or low self-esteem
• Accessible, kid-friendly learning tools at home

This reflection on when personalized academic support can be the answer could help you decide if it’s time to add backup.

Don’t Let “No” Become a Period

A day will come—perhaps sooner than you think—when the person sitting across from you will say yes. Perhaps not the same teacher or team, but someone who starts to get it. And you’ll be glad you didn’t give up at the first, or second, or third "no."

In the meantime, nurture your child’s growth wherever you can. Find the ways they shine. Create moments of success. Reframe failure as feedback. And if a lesson seems overwhelming, take a photo and gently turn it into a game, a quiz, or a listening tool they can absorb during a car ride.

Even small support matters. Sometimes, it’s those little adaptations—outside the classroom—where resilience is built. Where confidence returns.

And you? You are doing more than enough.

For more strategies on navigating inclusive schooling, explore this guide for supporting a child in an inclusive school.