What to Do If My Child Says They Hate Lessons

Start with Listening, Not Fixing

When your child turns to you and says they “hate lessons,” it can feel like a punch to the gut—especially if you’ve spent nights Googling worksheets, emailing teachers, and trying to stay patient. Maybe you’re already exhausted from work, trying to manage homework time around dinner, or navigating your child’s meltdowns about school. You're not alone. A lot of parents hear this phrase, sometimes loudly, often repeatedly. The immediate reaction? Panic, guilt, or the urge to fix it quickly.

But here’s the truth: this sentence is rarely just about math, or spelling, or that science unit on volcanoes. More often, it’s your child’s way of expressing frustration, confusion, or even fear. They’re not being defiant—they’re signaling that something isn’t clicking.

What “I Hate Lessons” Usually Means

For a child aged 6 to 12, school is a full-time job. They’re still learning how to organize thoughts, manage time, and bounce back from mistakes. Hating lessons could mean:

• They feel constantly behind and don’t know how to catch up.
• They’re embarrassed to ask questions in class.
• The content feels beyond their current level, or makes them anxious.
• They're simply exhausted from being in performance mode all day.

One parent I worked with told me her 9-year-old son would throw his notebook across the room the minute spelling practice started. Eventually, they discovered he associated lessons with feeling "stupid" because he was still struggling with phonics, while his peers were moving on to advanced reading. When he said “I hate lessons,” he really meant “I don’t feel safe learning anymore.”

Shift the Focus: From Performance to Connection

Try asking, in a calm moment, “What part of lessons do you hate most?” or “What happens in class that makes you feel this way?” You might be surprised by what tumbles out. Build a daily or weekly ritual of check-ins that aren’t about grades or homework, but about feelings, friendships, and what they liked or didn’t like at school.

If your child struggles to express themselves verbally, you might find this article helpful: How to Help Your Child Express Themselves Better Orally.

Reset the Learning Environment

Sometimes, lessons are hated not because of their content, but their format. Are they always battling distractions at the kitchen table? Are they trying to do homework when they’re already mentally drained?

Just a few tweaks to their learning space—a comfortable chair, some soft lighting, a dedicated supply box—can make children feel more in control and less overwhelmed. If you’re not sure where to start, this article breaks it down beautifully: How to Set Up a Good Learning Space for Your Child.

Find Their Learning Language

Not every child is wired to absorb information from textbooks or lectures. Some kids are visual learners, others need to move or talk it out. Increasingly, children in the 6–12 range thrive with content that meets them where they are—on the move, tuned into stories, or needing repetition in clever ways.

One lovely feature I’ve seen work wonders for kids reluctant about lessons is transforming written material into short audio adventures where they become the hero—solving math mysteries or exploring habitats in the rainforest using their name as the protagonist. It’s engaging, empowering, and fun. Apps like Skuli offer this feature naturally within its toolkit, offering an emotionally safe and curiosity-driven on-ramp to academic material.

Review Without the Drama

If the word “review” sets off groans, it’s often because kids imagine hour-long sessions of red pen corrections. But review doesn’t have to look like school. Inject some play: quizzes with rewards, review games at the dinner table, or quick challenges in the car.

If you’re short on time (and what parent isn’t?), you’ll want to read How to Help My Child Revise When I Don’t Have Time, which includes sanity-saving strategies that can be done in 10 minutes or less.

Also, some digital tools are surprisingly good for quick and painless review. For example, Skuli lets you snap a photo of a worksheet, turning it into a personalized 20-question quiz tailored to your child’s level. It’s review disguised as a challenge, which can be a game-changer for kids who claim they “hate lessons.” For more on this topic, check out What Digital Tools Are Actually Useful for Reviewing.

Watch Their Pace—Not the Curriculum’s

It’s easy to compare your child to others in the same grade and worry. But pacing is deeply personal. Some kids race ahead in math but take their time with writing. Others bloom academically once they find a topic they love. Hating lessons could be your child’s way of coping with a pace that doesn’t fit their learning rhythm.

If you’re wondering whether your child is struggling because they’re too far ahead or behind, you’ll find clues here: How to Tell If My Child Is Learning at Their Own Pace.

When to Seek Help

If the hatred of lessons turns into daily anxiety, avoidance, or disruptive behavior that’s spreading beyond homework time, don’t brush it off. Talk to your child’s teacher. Ask for input. Consider an assessment for learning differences if needed. It’s not labeling—it’s understanding. Often, receiving the right support early unlocks a child’s joy in learning again.

Your Support Means Everything

What your child wants most on this bumpy learning road isn’t perfection. It’s presence. A parent who hears their struggles without rushing to cover them up. A parent who reminds them they are more than their grades. The lesson they’ll remember later won’t be multiplication—it’ll be this: When I said I hated school, someone stayed with me.

And sometimes, that’s the real lesson they needed help learning first.