The Best Ways to Support a Child Struggling in School

When Your Child Is Falling Behind: What Every Parent Deserves to Know

Maybe your child once loved school, but now dreads homework. Perhaps every evening ends in tears, arguments, or withdrawn silence. If you’re feeling helpless watching your child struggle academically—while juggling work, family, and your own exhaustion—you’re far from alone.

I’ve spoken to countless parents sitting across from me with the same worries: “Is something wrong with them? With me? Why can’t I help?” Let me say this loud and clear—there’s nothing wrong with your child, and there's nothing wrong with you. Learning struggles are common between the ages of 6 and 12, and with the right guidance and tools, your child can re-engage, recover, and even thrive.

Start by Shifting the Story

Many kids in this age group start seeing themselves as "bad at school" if they struggle more than others. They internalize the frustration, label themselves, and slowly opt out. Our first critical step is to rewrite that story together. You are not just helping your child get better at math or reading. You are helping them rebuild their confidence and rekindle curiosity.

Instead of saying, “You have to catch up,” try: “Let’s figure this out together. Everyone learns differently, and you’re not alone.”

Understand the Root: Is It Motivation, Difficulty, or Something Else?

A 9-year-old spending 15 confusing minutes on a single worksheet may not be lazy. They may be overwhelmed. Before you can help, take time to observe the challenge behind the struggle. Are they having trouble with foundational reading? Are word problems in math confusing because they misunderstand the context?

Sometimes, the root can be emotional. Kids who’ve experienced repeated failure can develop a fear of trying. Others may be masking learning differences like dyslexia or ADHD. Tools like teacher feedback, simple vision or hearing screenings, and educational evaluations can offer clarity.

For an in-depth approach on reading support, explore how to help your child improve in reading and writing.

Create a Safe, Low-Pressure Space to Learn

Academic worries quickly spill into family life. You might dread every evening, wondering how to coax your child into one more homework task. But when stress is high, learning shuts down. So, aim to make home a place of recovery, not just responsibility.

That doesn’t mean letting go of learning—it means reshaping how it happens. Reduce battles by working together to co-create routines. Set clear, small goals (“Let’s try one page in 20 minutes, then take a break”), and let your child feel control over how they approach their workload.

The article how to review lessons without daily fights offers some gentle strategies worth trying tonight.

Find Tools That Fit Your Child’s Learning Style

This is where things get hopeful. Today, we have access to tools that meet kids where they are, rather than forcing them to fit one way of learning. If your child doesn’t engage with traditional worksheets or textbooks, you're not out of options—you just need a different method.

Many children, especially those with attention or reading difficulties, retain material better when learning is active, familiar, and even playful. For example, the Skuli App allows you to take a photo of a lesson and turn it into a customized quiz your child can do at their own pace—almost like a game. It even transforms lessons into personalized audio adventures where your child becomes the hero of their own learning journey. One parent told me their daughter started asking to “play the story app again” on car rides—without realizing she was reviewing fractions.

Let Them Participate in Planning Their Learning

The more children feel ownership over how and when they learn, the more motivated they become—even when the work is hard. If the struggle is chronic, they may feel powerless. You can counteract this by inviting them into the conversation.

Ask: “What’s one part of school that feels okay for you right now?” or “If we tried something different with your science homework, what would help you feel less stuck?” Then try it. Give them a chance to test, explore, reflect, and choose along the way.

This approach is beautifully outlined in how to help your child take ownership of their learning journey.

Consistency, Kindness, and Tiny Steps

Supporting a struggling learner is not about fixing everything immediately. It’s about showing up with calm consistency—and staying connected.

Make progress together visible: a single word spelled correctly, a brave question asked, a moment of self-made progress. Celebrate these things. Even if academics feel stuck, your child needs to know their effort counts more than the outcome.

Also, remember to support yourself. Seek out parent groups, talk with teachers, and make space for your own feelings. You don’t have to carry this weight alone.

When to Seek Extra Help

If your child’s school performance doesn’t improve after months of support, or if emotional signs like withdrawal, daily tantrums, or low self-worth persist, it may be time to loop in a specialist. Pediatricians, learning specialists, and school psychologists can help determine what might be happening beneath the surface—and what interventions may help.

But even with professional help, your role stays central: you are your child’s safe harbor. And that matters more than any curriculum or grade.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Learning Together.

This is probably not the school journey you imagined. But within these moments of struggle lie some of the most powerful opportunities for growth—for both you and your child. Empathy. Flexibility. Resilience. None of that looks like a perfect report card. It looks like sitting beside your child, asking what they need, and trying again.

Looking for deeper strategies? Read about how to reignite your child’s motivation to learn.

You don’t need to have all the answers today. But just by being here, and caring this much, you’ve already taken the first—and most important—step.