Struggling at School at Age 10: How to Step In Without Adding Pressure

When the Report Card Becomes a Source of Worry

It starts with a meeting at school, or maybe a low grade unexpectedly arrives between old drawings at the bottom of the backpack. Your 10-year-old isn’t doing well academically. There’s no denying it: something isn’t clicking. And in the middle of homework battles, sinking confidence, and evenings full of frustration, you ask yourself: how can I help without making things worse?

This moment – when your child begins to struggle and lose faith in their abilities – can be heartbreaking. Yet it's also a powerful turning point. The key is not to react with panic or pressure. It's to meet your child exactly where they are, with curiosity, compassion, and a strategy that respects who they are.

Start by Listening, Not Fixing

Children don’t just fall behind for no reason. Sometimes, there's an undiagnosed learning challenge. Other times, it's boredom, anxiety, perfectionism or a fear of making mistakes in front of classmates. Before rushing in with new tutoring schedules and flashcards, start by observing.

Ask yourself: Is your child zoning out during lessons? Do they seem overwhelmed even before starting their homework? Are they avoiding anything that feels academic? You’re not alone in this stage. In fact, many parents notice signs like zoning out or withdrawing before they discover the root cause.

So talk to your child—but without making it feel like an interrogation. Sit with them while coloring, walking, or driving. Children often open up when they don’t feel under a microscope. Ask open-ended questions: “How do you feel during math?” or “What part of your day do you wish you could skip?” Their answers might surprise you.

Shift the Focus from Results to Engagement

The instinct to focus on grades is understandable—but risky. At 10, kids are deeply sensitive to adult expectations. When our help feels like pressure, even the kindest intention can backfire. What most struggling learners need is to reconnect with learning in a way that's playful and non-judgmental.

That might mean reviewing a lesson not through a workbook, but by listening to it during a car ride. Many kids at this age are auditory learners. For some families, using tools that transform a written lesson into audio adventures where the child is the main character—complete with their first name—has helped rekindle curiosity and a sense of agency. One parent told me her daughter, after weeks of resisting multiplication tables, begged to hear the next part of the story where she was saving a galaxy with her math skills. (This is just one of the creative features within the Skuli App, available on iOS and Android.)

When we make learning fun and imaginative again, we open doors that school might have accidentally closed.

Build a Daily Routine Rooted in Confidence, Not Control

Consistency helps reduce stress, especially for kids who feel lost at school. But structure does not mean rigidity. Sit down with your child and create together a simple weekly plan. Let them choose when to do homework, what snack they want before, where they feel most focused (even if it's the floor or under a blanket). Give small choices. It shifts their mindset from being “forced” to being “involved.”

And don't forget to include recovery time in your routine: unstructured play, rest, nature, or just time to be a kid who doesn’t feel perpetually behind.

If your child is struggling to stay engaged at home, you might find inspiration in this guide to playful learning methods—each one tested by real families navigating the same stage.

When to Seek Additional Support

Sometimes, love and structure at home aren’t quite enough. And that’s okay. Asking for help isn’t admitting failure—it’s courageous parenting. If your child’s self-esteem seems to be slipping, or the school is voicing concern, consider asking for a learning evaluation or tutoring designed for their style.

This journey is rarely linear. Some kids need a year to find their rhythm. That doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. In fact, recognizing when a child needs outside help—and choosing the right support—is one of the ways parents show up most bravely for their children.

Let Their Story Be One of Growth

When we think about the words "academic failure" or "struggling in school," it's easy to picture long-term consequences. But childhood is not a performance. It's an unfolding. The 10-year-old who’s overwhelmed by fractions today might be the same child who discovers a love for astronomy or coding in middle school, simply because someone—maybe you—preserved their joy in learning along the way.

So, start where they are. Watch gently. Intervene kindly. Include their voice. Celebrate progress, not perfection. And remember that motivation often follows success—not the other way around.

Lastly, remind yourself: walking beside your child through academic difficulty isn’t a detour. It can be one of the most meaningful parts of parenting. You're not alone—and neither are they.