Simple Breathing Exercises to Calm Your Child’s Anxiety Before a Test
When worry takes over — and your child is only ten
You’ve packed the lunch, double-checked the backpack, and helped review the lesson one last time. But as you pull into the school drop-off lane, you glance in the rearview mirror and see it: that unmistakable look of panic on your child’s face. Their shoulders rise, they’re chewing their sleeve, and they suddenly ask if maybe they could stay home today. "Just this once."
Test anxiety is more common than we think — even in young children. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong as a parent, nor does it necessarily point to a bigger diagnosis. But it does mean your child’s mind is overwhelmed, and their body is reacting in kind. One of the most effective ways to ease this tension is teaching kids how to use their breath as a tool for calm.
Why breathing matters more than we realize
When a child is anxious, their nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode — and that makes focusing, remembering, and thinking clearly nearly impossible. Breathing exercises work not because they’re magical, but because they reclaim control of the body. They signal safety. And when a child feels safe, they learn and perform better.
The key is practicing these exercises regularly, not just moments before a test. Think of them like emotional seatbelts: stronger if buckled before the crash.
Three simple breathing exercises even young kids can do
These exercises don’t require special training or equipment. They work best when taught in a calm moment — maybe during bedtime, in the car, or before starting homework.
1. Blow the bubble
Ask your child to imagine they're blowing a soap bubble. To make a bubble, they have to breathe in slooowwly through their nose, then exhale gently through their mouth — not too fast or the bubble will pop. Have them do this five times. You can even turn your hands into a pretend bubble wand to bring it to life.
2. Smell the flower, blow the candle
Hold up one finger and say: "Pretend this is a flower. Breathe in the smell." Then say, "Now it's a candle. Blow it out." This gives a concrete visual and helps regulate their breath naturally. Repeat until you notice their shoulders drop and their face soften.
3. Square breathing (for older kids)
This one’s great for children with a slightly longer attention span. Draw a square in the air or on paper. As you trace each side, your child breathes in (4 seconds), holds (4 seconds), breathes out (4 seconds), and holds again (4 seconds). Tracing helps them visualize the rhythm.
Make it a ritual, not a rescue
Children often resist tools that show up only in crisis. But if you weave breathing into daily routines — after brushing teeth, before starting homework, or during car rides — it becomes familiar. It also helps to model it yourself: “Mommy’s nervous too, let’s do our flower and candle breaths together.”
Some parents have told us they integrate calming strategies into their child’s learning time. For instance, when reviewing a lesson feels tense, they pause to do two minutes of breathing before practicing. Tools like the Skuli App allow you to turn tricky lesson content into personalized audio adventures, so your child can listen while curled up in bed or walking in the park — which subtly builds confidence without the pressure of “studying.”
Pay attention to lingering signs of stress
If your child routinely dreads assessments, avoids school, or struggles with stomach aches or poor sleep before exams, they may be silently fighting school-related anxiety. Recognizing these signs of stress early means you can respond with understanding before frustration sets in. And sometimes, performance anxiety is tied to perfectionist tendencies. If that rings true, you might find this read helpful: Is it normal for my 10-year-old to want everything to be perfect?
And remember — it's not about solving everything overnight. It's about building emotional safety, one breath at a time.
What to say, what not to say
Finally, words carry more power than we think. In the moments before a test, avoid phrases like “Just calm down” or “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” These can unintentionally invalidate your child’s very real feelings. Instead, acknowledge and then guide. Try: “I can see you're really nervous right now. Let’s try that candle breathing we practiced yesterday.”
For more on this, read What not to say to a stressed-out child.
Inhale courage, exhale fear
The truth is, no breathing exercise erases school pressure entirely. But they teach your child something even more powerful: that big feelings are not dangerous, and they can learn to ride the wave. Over time, this resilience can spill into other areas of life — from classroom presentations to playground challenges.
So the next time your child faces a test and that anxious look creeps in, take their hand, look in their eyes, and quietly say, “Smell the flower, blow the candle.” It’s a small act. But small acts, repeated with love, can unlock courage in the most unexpected moments.