Should You Reward Your Child to Motivate Them to Work Hard at School?

When motivation wanes and frustration rises

It’s 8 p.m., dinner is barely over, and you’re already preparing for the nightly battle: getting your child to finish their homework. Maybe you’ve tried encouraging words. Maybe you’ve promised a small treat if they just get through the math worksheet. And maybe, just maybe, the words “If you finish everything without complaining, you'll get extra screen time” have passed your lips more times than you’d like to admit.

You're not alone. The idea of rewarding children for their efforts might feel like a lifeline—especially when you're navigating resistance, tears, or total indifference. But does it actually work in the long run? And more importantly, what kind of motivation really helps kids build lasting confidence and a healthy relationship with learning?

Rewards: Helpful support or slippery slope?

There’s no denying that some kids light up at the idea of earning a sticker, dessert, or a few extra minutes of game time. Rewards can, in the short term, get a child from point A to point B. But the problem comes when external rewards become the only thing driving their action.

Imagine your child growing up associating effort with “What do I get for it?” rather than “I’m proud of what I accomplished.” We want our kids to thrive, not just cooperate. When motivation depends entirely on rewards, we risk weakening their internal drive. Eventually, the reward has to get bigger—or they stop trying altogether.

That doesn't mean rewards are always wrong. In fact, celebrating progress—not perfection—matters deeply. But celebrating isn’t the same as bribing. It’s about recognition, encouragement, and helping your child build a strong sense of agency.

What truly motivates kids to learn?

At ages 6 to 12, children are still discovering how they learn, what they enjoy, and how capable they are. This is the moment to plant the seeds of intrinsic motivation—the lifelong engine that keeps them curious and driven even when no one's watching.

So what does that kind of motivation look like in practice? It looks like a child:

• Feeling their effort matters
• Seeing how they're improving
• Making choices in their learning
• Finding moments of joy or mastery

This can be hard to see when school feels like a stressful chore. But when learning becomes a personal journey instead of a performance, motivation grows—organically, persistently. One useful (and fun) way to create those moments is by connecting lessons to your child’s own interests. If your child is fascinated by dinosaurs, outer space, or soccer, those themes can spark an entire reading or writing project. Don’t know where to start? This guide on using your child’s passions to support learning is a great place to begin.

When incentives can be useful—if done right

Using small rewards doesn’t have to be harmful if the intent is thoughtful. In some cases, a short-term incentive can help a child develop a routine until the habit sticks. But the way we frame those rewards is crucial:

• Shift focus from result to process: Instead of "You got an A! Let’s buy a toy," try "You worked through that hard topic even when it was frustrating. Let's go celebrate your persistence."
• Let the child co-create the goal: "What would you like to feel proud of this week? How will you know you did your best?"
• Keep the reward symbolic or experience-based: A shared movie night or one-on-one outing can have more emotional value than material gifts.

These approaches reinforce intrinsic motivation while showing your child that effort is noticed and appreciated. Striking this balance is delicate, and that’s okay. We’re all learning as we go.

Building motivation through meaningful engagement

Especially for children who struggle with learning difficulties or attention challenges, engagement is half the battle. Traditional homework might feel like an endless wall of text, and rewards only go so far. What can shift things is inviting your child into an experience.

One family I spoke to recently has a daughter who finds it hard to retain information from her science lessons. Reading feels like a burden, and the usual studying methods weren't working. But when they began turning her lesson content into audio adventures where she was the hero—hearing her own name woven into a story that featured volcanoes and planets—her attention transformed. Suddenly, learning wasn’t something to race through for a reward. It felt like it belonged to her. (Creating immersive learning experiences like these is possible with tools like the Skuli app, which transforms lessons into personalized audio stories children love to listen to—even in the car.)

If your child shows signs of boredom or detachment, take heart. You’re not doing anything wrong—but there are fresh, joyful ways to invite them back into learning. This insight-packed article about re-engaging bored learners at home can be a powerful next read.

Final thoughts: What your child really needs

Motivation isn’t a switch to flip. It’s a relationship—between your child and their learning, and between you and them. Certain mistakes, like pushing too hard, micromanaging, or relying solely on results, can erode trust and joy over time. If you're concerned you might be falling into those traps, here’s a thoughtful guide on motivation mistakes to avoid.

So, should you reward your child? Perhaps occasionally—but more important is how you respond to their efforts, how you help them recognize their growth, and how you nourish a sense of pride and possibility.

And remember: you’re not just raising a high-achiever. You’re raising a human being, one who is still learning how to be resilient, curious, and confident. That’s the reward that will last.