School Stress: What Can Parents Do Every Day to Help Their Child?

Understanding the Weight Our Children Carry

You're not imagining it: school feels more intense than it used to. For children between 6 and 12 years old, the pressure to succeed—combined with rapidly changing classroom dynamics—can sometimes exceed their capacity to cope. And when they hurt, you feel it too.

The tears before homework, the tummy aches on Sunday nights, the quick temper after school—all signs of a child under school-related stress. But how can you, as a parent, help without making it worse? The answer doesn’t lie in pushing harder or fixing everything. It lies in daily connection, calmness, and creating a container where your child can exhale, even when school feels overwhelming.

Meeting Stress With Curiosity Instead of Control

When a child struggles at school, our instinct is often to jump into action—more tutoring, strict routines, rewards, consequences. But stress, especially in children, doesn’t respond well to pressure. It responds best to understanding.

In one family I worked with, 9-year-old Leo began faking stomachaches every Monday. His parents initially thought he was trying to skip school, but when they sat down and really listened, they discovered that Leo was terrified of reading aloud due to a mild stammer—something that had embarrassed him in class weeks before.

That moment of being heard—without correction, without judgment—was the start of his healing. The next step wasn’t academic at all. It was emotional: re-establishing trust.

Small Rituals That Genuinely Help

Stress doesn't dissolve in one conversation. It melts slowly through predictability, connection, and a sense of competence. Even the simplest daily rituals can make an immense difference. Here are a few ideas, not as a checklist, but as gentle invitations to experiment with what feels right for your child:

• After-school decompression time: Let your child have 15–30 quiet minutes to themselves when they get home. No homework yet, no questions—just the message: "You’re safe now."
• Evening check-in: Share one high and one low from your day, and invite them to do the same. It's more approachable than asking, "How was school?"
• In-the-background learning: If your child finds it stressful to review lessons formally, try using audio during passive moments—like car rides or bedtime. Some apps can convert written lessons into personalized audio adventures featuring your child’s name, allowing learning to continue without pressure.

These small acts offer a bigger gift: psychological oxygen. Your child doesn’t always need solutions. They need space. And from that space comes the resilience they’ll need to face school with more strength.

Reframing 'Help' at Homework Time

For many families, homework is the battlefield. It begins with good intentions—a quiet table, sharpened pencils—but quickly spirals into tears or shutdown. The key often isn’t changing the routine, but reframing the role you play.

Instead of focusing on the outcome (“Did you get it right?”), aim to become a collaborator, a coach—not a judge. Sit beside them, not across. If they're stuck, resist the urge to explain it five ways. Say instead, “Hmm, that looks tricky. Want to figure it out together?”

Some parents have found that using learning tools outside traditional textbooks, like turning a photo of the lesson into a quiz, can allow kids to review in a low-pressure way. (The Skuli App, for instance, lets you snap a picture of a lesson and generates a custom 20-question quiz—helping kids revisit tricky concepts more independently.)

Stress Doesn’t Always Look Like Stress

One of the challenges of supporting children through school-related stress is recognizing it for what it is. Kids aren’t always able to say, “I’m overwhelmed.” Instead, it often shows up as:

• Defiance (“I won’t do it!”)
• Distraction (“Can I get a snack? Another one?”)
• Physical complaints (headaches, stomachaches)
• Perfectionism (“It’s not good enough—I want to start over.”)

Understanding these cues is crucial. This article on what kids really mean when they're stressed can help you decode these behaviors and respond more effectively.

The Parent’s Emotional Oxygen Mask

If you’re reading this, you’re likely already doing an incredible job. Exhausted, yes—but present. That matters more than anything. Still, supporting a stressed child when you’re running on fumes doesn’t work long-term.

Find short moments, even five minutes, that are yours: a walk around the block, a cup of tea, ten pages of a book you love. These micro-breaks don’t remove your child’s challenges—but they remind you that you’re not only a parent. You are a person, too.

Remember: your calm is contagious. When you ground yourself, you give your child something solid to hold onto.

When to Worry, and When to Wait

It’s normal for kids to dislike school sometimes. It’s normal for them to struggle. What’s not normal is prolonged, escalating distress without relief. If your child has been consistently anxious, withdrawn, aggressive, or physically sick over school for more than a few weeks, it may be time to reach out—for counseling, for school support, for professional guidance.

School stress can begin earlier than many believe. Let’s not wait until our children burn out to act. Early, compassionate support makes a difference—and sometimes the first step is simply responding calmly when your child talks about school.

You’re Not Alone

Every day, across the world, parents are walking through the same hallways of doubt, guilt, love, and frustration you’re walking. There is no perfect parent. But there are present ones. Attuned ones. Ones who whisper, “I see you. And I’m here.”

Those words are a shelter. Even on the hardest school days, they matter more than any homework assignment ever will.