My Child Would Rather Play Than Study – How Can I Motivate Them to Learn?

When Play Wins Over Schoolwork

You're not alone if you feel like you're constantly nagging your child to sit down and study while they drift toward their toys, video games, or the backyard trampoline. For many parents of children between 6 and 12, this tug-of-war between school obligations and the pull of play is a daily emotional rollercoaster. Deep down, you may worry: Does this mean my child isn’t motivated or — worse — not capable?

The good news? It’s not a lack of capability. Play is a fundamental part of how kids this age explore the world, express themselves, and even process difficult emotions. The real question is: how do we bridge this seemingly wide gap between what they want to do and what they have to do?

Understanding the Real Reason Behind the Resistance

We often assume motivation is a matter of discipline or willpower — but that’s not usually the root issue with kids. When children avoid learning, it's often because something underneath makes it feel hard, boring, or emotionally risky. Maybe it’s a subject they’re struggling with, or they fear making mistakes. Some kids even associate schoolwork with failure after continuously low grades.

If your child has already started saying things like, “I’m just not smart,” or “I can’t do this,” they might be experiencing a deeper block. In these cases, simply pushing them to “work harder” can worsen the issue. We dive deeper into the emotional side of learning in our article Why Is My Child Afraid of School — and How Can I Help Them Feel Safe Again?.

Bringing Learning to Life: Let Curiosity Lead

One of the most powerful ways to shift your child’s mindset about studying is by turning learning into something that feels meaningful or fun — and ideally, both.

Consider Max, an 8-year-old who hated reading assignments. But Max loved science fiction and role-playing with his older brother. Instead of forcing textbook chapters, his parents helped him write his own short story about traveling to Mars. Reading homework was no longer the enemy — it became the fuel for his imagination. His teacher was even able to weave some of those interests into class discussions. Suddenly, Max was engaged.

The truth is, when learning connects with your child’s existing passions, it no longer feels like work. Whether your child is obsessed with dinosaurs, skateboarding, or magic tricks, leverage that. Use those interests as the launchpad for math problems, reading exercises, or writing prompts.

Integrate Study Into Everyday Life

Learning doesn’t have to happen only at a desk under bright lights. If your child feels overwhelmed by structured homework time, look for ways to make learning mobile and flexible.

For children who learn better through listening — especially those who struggle with focus — turning their written lessons into audio can be a game-changer. Listening to homework explanations in the car or during quiet playtime helps reduce pressure while reinforcing key concepts in small, digestible chunks. Some parents report surprising moments when their child suddenly quotes a lesson they heard casually on the go. Apps like Skuli can even transform lessons into audio adventures where your child becomes the hero of the story — using their actual first name to turn the experience into something personal and fun.

By integrating learning into your family’s daily rhythm, you remove the invisible mental wall between play and study.

Build Routine—But Keep It Gentle

While spontaneity and creativity can help, routines still have their place. Most children feel safer and more focused when they know what to expect. You don’t need a rigid schedule. Instead, create rituals around homework that signal it’s time to switch gears — like a snack break, a gentle five-minute countdown, or choosing a study spot together.

Give your child some choice in the process. Would they prefer to do math first or reading? At the kitchen table or in a small fort made of blankets? These tiny decisions give a sense of agency, which often boosts engagement. We talk more about building positive habits in How to Help Your Child Enjoy Doing Homework (Yes, It’s Possible).

Replace "You Have To" With "You Get To"

Language matters. Children pick up on urgency and stress — especially when it’s tied to school. When homework becomes a battlefield, the child’s nervous system goes into survival mode rather than curiosity or cooperation.

Try reframing statements. Instead of “You have to do your homework now,” say, “Let’s see how fast you can solve five of these — it’s like a mini puzzle game!” Or “You get to be a multiplication ninja tonight!” Even silly names and light role-play can reduce tension. You might be surprised how willing your child is when the task feels like part of an imaginative world instead of a chore.

Redefining Success, Together

Remember, the goal isn’t to turn your child into a studying machine but to help them feel capable, curious, and connected to what they’re learning. Success isn’t measured only by grades but by small breakthroughs: a confident answer, a new question asked, or 15 distraction-free minutes.

If your child’s struggles seem specific to a subject, you might also explore our focused guides like How to Help Your Child Progress in Science and Math in Elementary School and How to Help Your Child Improve Their French Grades in Elementary School.

Above all, keep showing up. Let your child feel seen and supported through their frustrations. That connection — more than any tool or tip — is what fuels lasting motivation.

Final Thoughts

No child is born lazy. Behind resistance, there’s usually confusion, fear, or unmet needs. If we can lean in with empathy, find small ways to bring joy into learning, and slowly reframe what studying looks like in our homes, motivation begins to grow organically — not with pressure, but with purpose.