My Child with ADHD Struggles to Follow Instructions at School: How Can I Help?

When Instructions Become a Wall

You're sitting across from your child, homework spread across the kitchen table. You just explained the math exercise—for the third time. "What am I supposed to do again?" they ask with a clouded look. In that moment, you feel both the tug of frustration and the swell of empathy. You know your child is trying. But at school, it's the same story: unfinished tasks, missed steps, and frequent redirections from teachers. If your child has ADHD, struggling with instructions isn’t about willfulness—it’s about how their brain processes information. And that’s something we can help with.

Understanding the ADHD Brain in the Classroom

ADHD isn’t about attention deficits as much as it is about attention regulation. For many children with ADHD, the classroom environment—with its rapid transitions, long verbal directions, and high expectations—can be overwhelming. Instructions, especially when given verbally and only once, can evaporate before they even land.

Your child might genuinely want to comply but gets lost between steps, forgets mid-task what they were doing, or tunes out once their working memory is taxed too far. This is especially difficult because it can result in consequences—being scolded, losing privilege, or falling behind—even when your child isn’t choosing to disobey.

If you’re still unsure whether it’s ADHD or something else, this guide on ADHD vs. oppositional behavior can offer clarity.

Bridging the Gap: Helping at Home

Helping your child doesn’t mean replacing the teacher—it means becoming their translator and coach. One of the most effective strategies is practicing how to break down and retain instructions outside of the stress-filled school setting.

For example, if your child tends to forget multi-step tasks, rehearse two or three-step instructions with them at home during daily routines: “First, put your socks on, then your shoes, then grab your bag.” See how many they can remember. If three is too many, drop down to two and celebrate success before building up again.

Some families find it helpful to rewrite homework instructions in simpler terms together, or even act them out. You could say, “Let’s become detectives and decode what this question wants. What’s the first thing the teacher is asking?” Making this collaborative reduces pressure—and over time, builds independence.

Making Learning Multi-Sensory

Because children with ADHD often struggle with auditory working memory (remembering what they hear), supporting them visually or kinesthetically can make a major difference. For example, turning a lesson or instruction sheet into a drawing activity or using sticky notes for each step of a task can be surprisingly effective.

And during commutes or relaxed moments, consider using tools that let your child hear their lessons again in a format that supports them better. Many parents have found it helpful to use the Skuli app, which can transform a written lesson into a personalized audio adventure, where your child is the main character of the story. When children hear their own name guiding them through the content, they are far more likely to stay engaged and retain what matters.

Working With Teachers, Not Against Them

The most meaningful support often comes when home and school work as a team. If you haven’t already, open the conversation with your child’s teacher: ask how instructions are typically delivered in class—Are they written? Spoken only once? Modeled visually?—and then share what works for your child at home.

Don’t be afraid to advocate for small, attainable tweaks. These might include:

• Providing written instructions alongside verbal ones
• Giving the child a chance to repeat back the directions
• Breaking large assignments into smaller chunks with check-in points
• Assigning a peer buddy or using visuals to reinforce routines

And if your child has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan, ensure that accommodations around instructions and task completion are clearly noted and applied consistently.

Building Emotional Resilience

For many kids, repeated failures to follow instructions can erode self-esteem. They begin to believe they’re "dumb," or that school just isn’t for them. That emotional weight is heavy—and it grows with each misunderstanding and unmet expectation.

As a parent, you can help by validating how hard it is for them. Say things like: “I can tell when instructions aren’t clear, it really frustrates you,” or “You’re trying so hard, and I see that—even if your teacher didn’t today.”

This is also why structure at home matters. A solid routine signals safety and builds habits—something critical for ADHD kids. If evening chaos adds to their stress, consider implementing one of these evening routines designed specifically for ADHD families.

Small Wins Matter More Than You Think

One mom I spoke with recently told me about her 9-year-old son, Noah, who used to come home every day defeated. He was constantly "missing the point" in class. So she started role-playing school tasks at home—turning math problems into quests and breaking them up into steps they’d write down together. Slowly, Noah began to approach his classwork a little differently. He told his teacher he needed to write directions down. She agreed. A few weeks later, he completed his first assignment without a reminder. It was a small win. But for Noah—and for his mom—it felt huge.

Wins like that aren't unicorns. With consistency, advocacy, and the right support tools, they can happen for your child, too.

And while the path might not look linear, every step you take opens a new way forward—not just with school, but with how your child sees themselves and what they're capable of achieving.

Need help with sleep too? Many kids with ADHD lose focus simply because they’re not well-rested. Here’s help with sleep issues in ADHD children if your nights are as chaotic as your mornings.