My Child Refuses to Study and I'm Exhausted: What Can I Do?

When Homework Time Feels Like a Battle You’re Too Tired to Fight

It’s 6:45 p.m. You’ve barely wrapped up dishes from dinner, your nerves frayed after yet another day at work, and your child is slumped over the kitchen table, arms crossed, announcing, “I’m not doing another worksheet.” You try to stay calm—for the hundredth time. But inside, you’re screaming: Why is this so hard?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents— especially those with children between 6 and 12—find themselves caught in this exhausting cycle. Homework turns into a minefield, revising leads to meltdowns (for both of you), and by the end of the evening, you're wondering if you're failing as a parent or just impossibly tired. Let’s take a breath and unpack what’s really happening—and what can help.

It’s Not Just About the Homework

When a child resists revising, it’s rarely just about the task itself. More often, it’s a swirl of emotions: anxiety about not doing it “right,” mental fatigue from the school day, or simply feeling disempowered in a world where adults call all the shots. Now add your own exhaustion to the mix. Suddenly, what should be a moment of guidance becomes an emotional tug of war.

Instead of focusing solely on how to get them to revise, it can help to take a step back. How can we reframe the whole experience to meet both their needs and yours—especially when you’re nearing your limits?

Connection Comes Before Cooperation

One of the most common reasons kids resist homework is that it’s become emotionally charged. They feel stressed, parents feel pressure, and both sides dig in. In situations like these, leading with connection can shift the dynamic more than any reward system or timetable ever will.

Try this: Before mentioning school or revisions, spend ten quiet minutes doing something low-pressure together. Maybe it’s building a Lego tower, doodling side-by-side, or snuggling with a book. This small window invites calm and signals, “I’m here, not as your taskmaster but your teammate.”

When kids feel emotionally safe, their willingness to engage—even in something boring or hard—drastically increases. If you need more strategies for navigating this emotional dance, this article on learning through play might offer fresh perspective.

When You’re Too Tired to Be the Teacher

Let’s be honest: some evenings, you just don’t have it in you. The idea of transforming a French grammar lesson into an engaging activity? Beyond impossible. And yet the guilt creeps in: “If I don’t help my child, who will?”

Here's some important truth: you don’t have to do it all. You can’t do it all. And that’s okay.

What you can do is set up an environment where learning still happens—even when you're running on empty. For example, many parents have found relief in using tools that lessen their direct involvement while keeping the child engaged. One loved feature of the Skuli App transforms your child's written lesson into an audio adventure, where they become the hero of their own story. Hearing their own name woven through a math revision tale while lying on the couch? Suddenly, they're asking for “just one more chapter”—and you get ten minutes to close your eyes.

If you relate to the feeling of burnout, this piece on learning when you're just too tired might speak directly to you.

Make Reviewing Feel Manageable Again

Children rarely say, “I hate learning.” What they often mean is: “This feels too hard,” or “I hate how stressed I feel when I can't get it right.” Instead of drilling material, ask your child to help you co-create a new review routine.

Questions to explore together:

• What kind of moments in the day feel less stressful to you? Can we use those for micro-review sessions?
• Would you rather talk out loud about what you learned today, or play a short game with it?
• What helps you remember things better—hearing, writing, or doing?

By involving your child in building their learning habits, you’re showing them that their voice matters. For more support, this article on reviewing without overwhelm offers thoughtful techniques grounded in real-life parenting.

Protecting Your Own Energy Isn’t Selfish. It’s Smart.

Your ability to support your child hinges on one non-negotiable: your wellbeing. No amount of beautifully crafted revision charts or Pinterest-worthy homework corners will matter if you're constantly running on fumes. So, let go of the myth that good parenting = constant productivity.

What does protecting your energy look like?

• Letting go of “perfect” homework nights and embracing “good enough” moments
• Saying no to one more extracurricular in favor of quiet evenings
• Delegating where possible—whether via digital tools or tag-teaming with your co-parent

This journey doesn’t require superhuman stamina. It requires compassion—for your child, yes, but also for yourself. You're doing a hard job with your whole heart. That matters more than any assignment ever will.

Need ideas to make daily life feel just a little lighter? This piece on creating space for your own well-being is a great place to start.

You're Not Alone—and It Gets Easier

The road to smoother revision sessions isn’t linear. There will still be sighs, “I don’t want to!”s and occasional bribes involving cookies. But with small, intentional changes—rooted in empathy, creativity, and the occasional tech assist—you’ll start to see less friction and more flow.

You won’t turn into a magic tutor overnight. You don’t have to. What your child truly needs is a safe, calm presence to walk beside them—not someone who has all the answers, but someone willing to look for them together.

And when that still feels like too much, it’s okay to pause, regroup, and make space for rest. Even superheroes need a break.

You’re doing better than you think.